Young Anti-Fairies
by mylifeischeese
Summary: A young Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda go on adventures thousands of years before the events of Fairly Odd Parents. Sometimes, other kids in their special needs class join them, but it mostly centers around the two young anti-fairies. Episodic adventure.
1. So It Begins

**Disclaimer: I do not own this all of this or else I would have put it on fiction press. Some characters and settings belong to Butch Hartman and Nickelodeon.**

 **Summary:** **A young Anti-Cosmo goes on adventures and messes with his counterpart while being in the special needs section of the school. Episodic adventure. In this episode, Anti-Cosmo goes to his first day at school and tries to take over the school with the help of a new friend.**

Inside a completely black room, an excited young anti-fairy flew out of his dark blue crib. The anti-fairy couldn't be any older than a year old, and like most young anti-fairies, he had small bat like wings, a black crown flying over his head, and slightly lighter blue skin than adults. The young anti-fairy had navy blue hair and no teeth besides two small milky white fangs. Almost all anti-fairies have red eyes, but the child had vibrant green eyes. He was wearing dark blue pajamas with a picture of a skull on them.

The anti-fairy fly over to a nightstand and grabbed a sky blue rattle with a white stripe through the middle of the main part and a black star on the top. He lifted the rattle, but it turned gray and cued over. The young anti-fairies excitement got replaced with disappointment. "You futile implement," the child remarked with a high pitch British accent. He then lifted the rattle again and appeared in a similar black room, but a dark blue sheeted bed instead of a crib. On the bed was second anti-fairy that looked like the first, but significantly older, slightly messier hair, a full mouth of teeth, bright red eyes instead of green, and a freakishly small nose.

The teenage looking anti-fairy yelled in fear as the young one suddenly appeared in his room. "Anti-Cosmo, you almost gave me a heart attack!" the teenaged fairy whined. Like the first anti-fairy, Anti-Cosmo, the new anti-fairy had a British accent, but it wasn't as prominent or high pitched.

"But it's physically impossible for anti-fairies to have a heart attack, you wuss," Anti-Cosmo said.

The other anti-fairy sighed. "What do you want anyway?" he asked.

"Well, dear brother, I want power and a fully functioning brain, but why I came here is because my wand can't fabricate fabric. It's stupid," Anti-Cosmo complained.

"Well, you know you have to have a less powerful wand than everybody else," The teen said kind of awkwardly.

"I know. I just want my sickeningly lurid uniform for school."

"Just because you can use big unknown words doesn't mean you should," the teen anti-fairy said and lifted his black starred wand. It glowed dark blue and suddenly both young anti-fairies were in uniforms. They both had the same layout, with a tie, a coat with matching pants, a white shirt underneath, and an emblem on the right side that had a slash through the middle, but the uniforms had some differences. Anti-Cosmo's jacket and pants were sky blue, even lighter than his rattle, while his brother's was black. The younger anti-fairy had a black tie and a silver emblem, while the older had a red tie and gold emblem.

Anti-Cosmo smiled, "Thank you Anti-Schnozmo. You're the best big brother ever! Can I borrow your wand?"

"B-but you can't have a wand. You're... special," Anti-Schnozmo said, kind of hesitantly, as if he was afraid to hurt his little brother's feelings.

"Oh, thanks for informing me, I never noticed. Is that why this disgrace to fashion is on me?" Anti-Cosmo said sarcastically.

"I hope you know being a jerk won't get you friends."

"Oh yes, Anti-Schnozmo the friend expert."

"Shut up," Anti-Schnozmo said and poofed them both to spellementary school. "Meet me here after school to go back home," Anti-Schnozmo said then poofed away.

Anti-Cosmo raised his rattle, then appeared right outside of a room. On the pink door, there were golden letters saying 'room 720'. Underneath that, it said 'special needs'. Anti-Cosmo didn't read the door, he looked at his wand angrily. "I hate limited magic! It can't even poof all the way into a room," He complained as he opened the door. The room had light yellow walls with the wall across from the door having a big window showing the clouded sky outside. Along one wall was a bookshelf mostly covered with toys and puzzles, but it still had books of all reading level on it. The opposite wall to the bookshelf had a chalk board.

There were five other people in the room. One was a full grown fairy with long light brown hair and lighter brown eyes. Like all fairies, she had a floating yellow crown and blue insect like wings. She was wearing a long green dress and was sitting behind a desk.

Two other ones were leprechauns, with the standard floating green hats of leprechauns. They were obviously identical twins with bright orange curly hair and blue eyes, though one had slightly lighter colored eyes. The one with lighter eyes had pointed ears while the other had rounded ears, but that was basically the only noticeable difference between the two. They both looked about seven years old and wore the same light blue outfit as Anti-Cosmo. Both of them were on the brightly colored carpet, the rounded eared one reading while the pointy eared one was playing with a jack in the box.

The fourth person was an elf, and she looked really young, about the age of three. She had decently short golden yellow hair and even brighter yellow eyes. Her skin was incredibly pale with freckle like sparkles across her face. She was also wearing the bright blue uniform and the customary elf hats that have a dark blue cone with a star on top while having a slightly lighter stripe in the middle, and a pointed folding out base. She was putting together an alphabet puzzle.

The final one was an anti-fairy. She was definitely the oldest of the children, looking about Anti-Schnozmo's age. She had the average black bat like wings and black crown of anti-fairies and was wearing the same blue suit as the rest of the children while holding a blue rattle like Anti-Cosmo, just completely sky blue. Somethings on the anti-fairy that stood out was her dark blue hair with one big, solitary swirl in the front, her big crooked teeth that stuck out of her mouth, and her unpointed ear with black pearl earrings in them. Although, the most prominent difference she had from the rest of anti-fairies was her eyes, like Anti-Cosmo's, weren't red, but pink.

"Oh, great. Another one," the full grown fairy mumbled.

"Ms. Magister, he's the same thing as me, right?" the anti-fairy asked excitedly. She had a heavy southern accent.

"Yeah," the fairy said. She sounded annoyed.

"Oh, that's so great!" the anti-fairy exclaimed and hugged Anti-Cosmo, who tensed up at the hug.

"What are you doing?" Anti-Cosmo asked, poofing out of the anti-fairies hug.

"I'm Anti-Wanda, and we're gonna become the bestest of friends!"

"Uum," Anti-Cosmo was speechless at the Anti-Fairies actions. He couldn't believe how easily she thought they would get along just because they are the same species.

"It's better just to go with it," the leprechaun with pointed ears said, not looking up at the anti-fairies. He had an Irish accent.

"What's your name, new best friend?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Anti-Cosmo, but I also answer to 'imbecile' or 'mistake'," Anti-Cosmo said.

Anti-Wanda tilted her head and looked at Anti-Cosmo in confusion. "You have more than one name?"

"Not the sharpest knife in the box, are ya?" Anti-Cosmo asked rhetorically.

"I'm not allowed to play with knives. Mommy says they're dangerous," Anti-Wanda said.

"I see," Anti-Cosmo said. He had a pretty good guess on why Anti-Wanda was in the special needs department. Then the bell rung, causing the pointy eared leprechaun to wince in pain and hold his hands over his ears, causing the other leprechaun to rub him comfortingly. The elf also put her hands over her ears, but she didn't seem nearly as phased by it as the leprechaun. After the bell stopped all of the children, except Anti-Cosmo and the elf, sat in a line on the carpet with a hole for a kid to sit in between Anti-Wanda and the twins. The fairy made a wand appear in her hand and used it to move the elf and her puzzle into the hole. Anti-Cosmo caught on to what was happening and poofed into a space between Anti-Wanda and one of the yellow walls.

"I guess introductions are in order," the fairy said, not sounding enthused in the slightest. Her wand glowed and what she was saying appeared over her head. "That's the new kid, Anti-Cosmo, last anti-fairy to ever be born," She said, pointing her wand at Anti-Cosmo. "His mom says that he's the least intelligent thing in the universe, that can't read and trips over things while flying half the time."

"You didn't have to tell them that," Anti-Cosmo mumbled while looking at the floor.

"Don't worry, I'm not good with flying either. Or words. Or anything really," Anti-Wanda said.

"Yeah, that's Anti-Wanda. She's an idiot," the fairy said, then pointed her wand at the next kid, the elf, who wasn't paying attention in the slightest. "That's Maria, she has a thing called autism." Next, the wand moved to the darker eyed, round eared leprechaun, who was the only one reading the words above the fairy's head. "That's Dillan, he can't hear." the wand moved to the other leprechaun. "That's his brother Blaine. He can't see. I'm Ms. Magister, the teacher. Any questions?"

Anti-Wanda raised her hand. "What's an autism?" she asked without waiting to get called on, ruining the point of the hand.

"You ask this every year, you should know by now," Ms. Magister said.

"Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts," Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Wow, you're smart," Anti-Wanda said smiling.

Anti-Cosmo couldn't help but laugh at Anti-Wanda's comment. "Don't you know that I'm the least intelligent thing in the universe," he said. Blaine looked like he was going to say something, but stopped.

"Well, now that introductions are over, go leave me alone," Ms. Magister said. She lifted her wand and it started to glow.

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching us something?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Ms. Magister's wand stopped glowing and she glared at the anti-infant. "Fine," she said, "Let's learn about occupations."

Anti-Wanda raised her hand. "What's an occupations?" she asked without waiting to be called on again.

"It's a job," Ms. Magister said.

"What's a job?"

"It's an occupation. So, Blaine, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a famous actor," he said.

"What about you?" Ms. Magister asked Dillan. He started signing his answer. "Interesting. What do you want to be when you grow up?" She asked Maria this time. Maria utterly ignored her. "As I thought," She said then looked at Anti-Wanda.

"I wanna be an ostrich!" Anti-Wanda said excitedly.

"Of course you do. And you?"

"I'm going to become ruler of the universe, or at least Anti-Fairy World," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Sure you are. Now I finished the lesson so leave me alone," Ms. Magister said and poofed behind the one desk in the room. The kids went back to what they were doing before Anti-Cosmo came in, while Anti-Cosmo floated over to the desk. "You're not very good at listening," Ms. Magister said.

"Well, you're not very good at being a good teacher."

"If you have any complaints write a letter to the school board," She said then poofed up a piece of paper, feather, and ink.

"But I'm illiterate."

Ms. Magister shrugged. "Not my problem."

Anti-Cosmo could guess the conversation wouldn't get him anywhere so he grabbed the paper, feather, and ink then floated over to Anti-Wanda. She was playing with a long rope that just happened to be there. "Do you think if I conquer the school that I could get Ms. Teacher fired?" Anti-Cosmo asked Anti-Wanda.

"I don't think," Anti-Wanda said.

"In general, or..." Anti-Cosmo started saying.

"What does 'in general' mean?"

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Not important," he said. "Can I have that rope? I need to hold someone ransom."

"Can I come with you?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"No, you'll probably just get in the way."

"Please?" Anti-Wanda pleaded.

Anti-Cosmo contemplated it for a moment. "I suppose a human shield has the potential of being useful…"

"I have no idea what a single word you said meant, so is it a yes?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Sure," Anti-Cosmo said.

"YAY!" Anti-Wanda rejoiced.

Anti-Cosmo took the rope from her and put it in a magical pocket on his uniform. He put a cork in the ink and put it in the pocket along with the paper and feather. "Let's poof to the principle's office," Anti-Cosmo said and lifted his wand. Anti-Wanda did the same and they disappeared in a conjoined cloud.

The young anti-fairies reappeared in front of the principal's office. "Wow, I haven't been able to magic myself this far before," Anti-Wanda said in amazement looking at her rattle.

"Our combined magic must make our wands less utterly useless," Anti-Cosmo said as he opened the door.

"Who are you?" the man behind the marble desk said. He was a short and stocky fairy with dark brown eyes and dark brown balding hair. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt that looked a size too small and black pants. He, of course, had a yellow crown floating over his head, wings a much lighter blue than his plaid on his back, and a yellow wand in his hand. The desk had a plaque that said 'Principal George Benes' on it.

"You're the principal, right?" Anti-Cosmo asked, unable to read the plaque.

That's when Mr. Benes noticed they were wearing the light blue school uniform and not just a normal suit. "Oh, you two are those kind of kids. I'll call Ms. Magister," he said. He was reaching for the giant glowing cube that could project his voice across the school.

Anti-Cosmo grabbed the cube before Mr. Benes could and grabbed his wand too. The anti-baby laughed, which sounded more adorable than evil. "Finally, actual magic!" He exclaimed and lifted the wand. Once it started glowing, though, Anti-Cosmo immediately dropped it. "That hurt," Anti-Cosmo whined looking at his hand that used to hold the wand.

"Well, no duh. Anti-fairies have to be at least one hundred to use fairy magic without it burning their hand. That's not even counting the other side effects of anti-fairies effectively using fairy magic," Mr. Benes said. He was still sitting in the chair behind his desk, mostly because the anti-children didn't seem very threatening in the slightest.

"Anti-Wanda, I need you to monologue," Anti-Cosmo said.

"What's that?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"It means talk a lot," Anti-Cosmo clarified.

"Oh, I'm great at that! Just watch!" Anti-Wanda said excitedly. "In space, there was a big squid that liked to eat stuff. He ate pumpkin pie, pecan pie, key lime pie, lemon meringue pie, apple pie, blueberry pie, cherry pie, blackberry pie, chess pie, rhubarb pie, mince pie, Mississippi mud pie, buttermilk pie, sweet potato pie, and horses. That's when the big floating jelly baby came and killed everyone. The end. Was that good?"

Anti-Cosmo smiled at Anti-Wanda and nodded. "It was a great story," Anti-Cosmo said. While Anti-Wanda was talking, Anti-Cosmo was flying around the principal with the rope, loosely laying it on him so it covered most of the principal's body. Now that she finished, Anti-Cosmo pulled on the rope as hard as he could, making the principal get attached to the chair.

"What are you kids even doing?" Mr. Benes asked, realizing he legitimately couldn't do anything.

"I don't know, but it's fun," Anti-Wanda said.

"We're overthrowing the school to fire Ms. Teacher. Next, we'll overthrow the Anti-Fairy World government, then the universe," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Big dreams," Mr. Benes said. "You know, big dreams lead to big disappointments. 'Never try, never fail' I always say."

"Why is everyone employed in this school terrible at their job?" Anti-Cosmo asked as he took the paper, ink, and feather out of his pocket and put it on the desk top.

"Well, I honestly don't even know what a principal does. I just looked irritated all the time for three hundred forty years, and next thing I know I'm running a school. Well, not really running a school, more of looking irritated behind this desk until the vice principal does my work for me."

Anti-Cosmo stood on the desk staring at the principal in disbelief. Anti-Wanda floated up and joined him on the marble desk. "How does that even work? Fairies are so unbelievably imbecilic."

While Anti-Cosmo was talking, Anti-Wanda was looking around in boredom. She grabbed the gray feather off of the desk and started rubbing it on her face, laughing.

"If you look annoyed people think you're working hard. Believe me, kid, it's a magic no wand can remake. Well, maybe a pixie wand can," Mr. Benes rambled.

"Anyway, you're being held ransom. Tell me how to conquer your school, or I'll kill you or something," Anti-Cosmo sort of threatened.

"I don't know how to conquer something," Mr. Benes said. "I don't even know how to make fish without magic."

It was about that time Anti-Wanda stopped tickling herself and somewhat paid attention to what was going on.

"B-but… you're an adult! Don't all adults know how to over through the government but are just too lazy to?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Who ever told you that?" Mr. Benes asked.

The principal's question was replied to with laughter as Anti-Wanda started tickling Anti-Cosmo with the feather.

"No, no stop it," Anti-Cosmo said between laughs. A dark blue aura was glowing around him.

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and stopped. Once she stopped, the cabinets behind them fell over, spewing papers everywhere.

"Geez, you're still young enough to do that?" Mr. Benes asked, bewildered.

Anti-Cosmo suddenly had a realization. "I am young enough to do that!" he said and turned to Anti-Wanda. "I need you to do that again!"

"Say 'okay', or before that?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Before that. The thing with the feather," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Okey dokey," Anti-Wanda said and started tickling Anti-Cosmo again. As the anti-baby laughed uncontrollably, the blue magic bordered him again. As it continued past where it ended the first time, Anti-Cosmo fell to the desktop with laughter and the aura got slightly bigger which made the ink bottle started shaking. The cork popped off and hit the principal in the head. He didn't really seem bothered by it though, he was too busy watching the ink multiply and it came out of the bottle as a humanoid like creature. It was bigger than Anti-Cosmo but still smaller than Anti-Wanda, who dropped the feather as she looked at the creature in amazement. "Wow," she mumbled.

Anti-Cosmo stood back up on the pearly white marble desk, not even bothering to fly. "My creation! Go outside the window, we'll make you bigger!" he commanded. The blob of black ink nodded and walked out of the window, leaving a trail of ink as it walked. After it got outside, it made the 'okay' symbol with a hand it just materialized. Anti-Cosmo turned to Anti-Wanda. "Let's make it bigger," he said and raised his rattle.

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and raised her's. Since size changing spells were fairly simple, their combined magic made the monster about 50% bigger than the school.

"Now, my creation, CAPTURE THEM ALL!" Anti-Cosmo yelled and started laughing monster shot ink out of its arms, and encased all the inhabitants of the school. The youngest anti-fairy poofed the cube into his hands and turned it on. "Pitiful creatures, I am your new master, Anti-Cosmo!" Anti-Cosmo exclaimed into the cube. Those words got projected across the school and echoed back to the room. "Do I really sound like that?" he mumbled, which wasn't picked up by the cube because Anti-Wanda took it.

"Hey y'all! I like squids!" Anti-Wanda yelled into it. There was a moment of silence. "That's all," She said and handed the cube back to Anti-Cosmo.

"Anyway," Anti-Cosmo continued, "I command you all now. First, I fire Ms. Teacher. Second, OVERTHROW THE ANTI-FAIRIEN GOVERNMENT!"

"What's with you and the government?" Mr. Benes asked. "You're, like, two. I'm ten thousand and I get bored every time someone mentions it."

"Third, fire the principal too," Anti-Cosmo said.

Mr. Benes looked offended. "Oh, I see how it is."

Anti-Wanda grabbed the cube, "Greenth, sing a song about breaking giraffes' necks!"

Anti-Cosmo took the cube back. "Fourth, after we overthrow Anti-Binky and I become ruler, we move onto bigger things," he said and started walking forward on the desk. "Start with earth, then Fairy World and Pixie World, then THE UNIVER-" Anti-Cosmo started to yell, but as he was saying it his foot went onto the paper blending into the white desk. The paper slipped from under his foot and an unprepared anti-baby fell off of the desk and hit the ground. "Ow, that hurt…" Anti-Cosmo whined.

Mr. Benes and Anti-Wanda started laughing, Mr. Benes laughing harder. ' _You idiotic little creature,'_ Anti-Cosmo heard his mom say. ' _The green eyed pesk can't even fly without falling on his face. I don't want that thing! The small nosed pushover is bad enough! He's a failure!'_

Anti-Wanda stopped laughing as she saw the black aura around Anti-Cosmo again. "You okay?" she asked.

"I'm a stain of an anti-fairies," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. He moved into a fetal position as tears rolled down his face. "Pathetic garbage."

Outside, the ink monster exploded and disappeared completely along with the clouds, showing a bright blue sky and brighter yellow sun. The rope undid itself from the principal and it retied itself around Anti-Wanda, then tied itself around Anti-Cosmo, pushing the two anti-fairies together.

Mr. Benes flew over to his wand that Anti-Cosmo left on the floor and poofed a pacifier into the younger anti-fairy's mouth and he spit it out. "I'm not a baby," He mumbled.

"Fine, be that way. See if I care," He said.

Suddenly the door swung open. "George, are you okay?" the person asked in panic. It was a fairy with medium length black poofy hair and light brown eyes. She wore a white sweater like thing with a barely noticeable red dot on it and black pants, along with a yellow crown and blue wings.

The principal got a very annoyed look on his face all of a sudden. "I was trying to do paperwork when these kids showed up and tied me to a chair and took over the school and knocked over my cabinets and-"

"Okay, okay. Calm down. How about I do your paperwork and you can take care of the kids. Will that be alright?" the fairy asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Elaine," Mr. Benes said, looking slightly less annoyed. The fairy, Elaine, smiled and poofed away along with all the paperwork and reorganized the fallen papers back into the cabinets, putting the cabinets upright in the process.

As the poof cloud disappeared, Mr. Benes didn't look annoyed in the slightest, he actually looked kind of pleased. "Well, that went better than I expected," He said and grabbed the cube and projected his voice across the school. "Ms. Magister to the principal's office."

"Why is she going to the principal's office? Is she in trouble?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"No," Mr. Benes said, "She's coming to get you two. Oh, by the way, you both have detention for the next twenty times after school's out."

"What's a detention? Is it food?" Anti-Wanda asked. "I eat food with my feet. Is that okay?"

Mr. Benes didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Luckily he didn't have to because Ms. Magister flew in. "Why didn't you just poof over here?" Mr. Benes asked.

"Because, boss, Maria stole my wand and screamed when I took it away. By the way, I want a raise."

"The answer is still no. Now, the kids still have a quarter of an earth rotation left of school, so go educate them."

Ms. Magister sighed. "Fine," She said and grabbed one of the loops on the rope that tied the two Anti-Fairy children together. Begrudgingly, she flew out of the room holding an over excited anti-teen and an anti-toddler that was heavily wallowing in self-pity tied together by a rope.

When they got back to room 720, Ms. Magister took her wand back from Maria and poofed the rope away, freeing the anti-children. "That's the last time I add a rope to the toy collection," she said.

"Oh, yes, I know! Do you want yellow star?" Maria said trying to reach the wand in her teacher's hand, but she was too short. Her voice was high pitched and adorable sounding, but sounded on the verge of crying as well.

Ms. Magister dropped the wand and Maria reclaimed it and started giggling. Anti-Cosmo floated into a corner and festered in his own sorrow silently. Anti-Wanda sat next to him, but after a while of trying to cheer him up and failing, she went and hung out with the leprechaun twins.

About an hour before the school let out, Ms. Magister floated over to the corner Anti-Cosmo never moved from. "Stop brooding kid. It's kind of incredibly disturbing. I don't think you've moved in, like, one fifth of a whole earth rotation."

"I'm a disgusting excuse for an anti-fairy that doesn't deserve to live," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Lighten up. You're not even a whole solar cycle old, and you managed to almost destroy the school. That seems like something anti-fairies would be all for. I know my opposite at your age would be jealous. My god was my opposite annoying."

Anti-Cosmo looked up at his teacher, which was the most movement he'd done in about five hours. "Why do you suddenly care about doing your job?"

"I've been at this job for literally a billion and a half solar cycles. It's not that I don't care about it, it's boring. But that's not the point. Enjoy life before you get you get old enough for everything to be boring. Besides, I think you're making Anti-Wanda smarter. Speaking of which, I think she needs your intelligence," Ms. Magister said. Anti-Wanda was trying to put a square block into an octagon hole that was three times smaller than the block.

Although Anti-Cosmo believes his intelligence isn't very big at all, he could agree with his teacher that he's at least smarter than Anti-Wanda. "I'll go help her," Anti-Cosmo mumbled and slowly flew over to the other anti-fairy.

* * *

"So, if we overpower Anti-Binky, we can take his place as ruler of Anti-Fairy World!" Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Oh. How do we do that? The powering over thing?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"I haven't gotten that far yet."

The bell rang, poofing Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda into a room with lots of desks, but all of them empty except for the ones holding the anti-children.

"You have detention. Moving and/or talking is prohibited for the next three twenty-fifths of an earth's rotation. Do you have any questions?" A pixie said. He looked exactly like all other pixies with boxed wings, flat black hair, a gray suit and pointy hat, and black sunglasses. The only difference was he had a gray name tag that said 'Donald' on it.

Anti-Wanda raised her hand. "I got told food was here." She said without being called on.

"That is not a question," Donald said emotionlessly, like all pixies.

Anti-Cosmo suddenly had a realization. "Shoot, Anti-Schnozmo is going to be waiting for a while, isn't he."

"He will be waiting for the next three twenty-fifths of an earth's rotation. Question time is now over," Donald said. He lifted a black stick with a gray circle on the top. The circle glowed a brighter gray and gray duct tape appeared over both the kid's mouths.

 **A/N: Well. That was chapter one. I'm planning on making this an episodic fanfic with each chapter being an episode. Chapters would probably vary in size. I already have some ideas, but I'm welcoming requests. If you do request, there's no guarantee that I'll do it, but I'll definitely think about it. I'd love to know what you think of it, feedback and constructive criticism are welcome. Please review.**

 **Also, some things that would have interrupted the flow the flow of the story is that Ms. Magister is the size of a human, sort of the same anatomy as the tooth fairy, but all other fairies are the size that Cosmo and Wanda are normally, George is shorter though. Speaking of heights, Poof and Foop are about the size of half of Cosmo and Wanda so Anti-Cosmo is a couple inches shorter than that. Maria is slightly shorter than Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Wanda and Anti-Schnozmo are about half way between Poof/Foop size and Cosmo/Wanda sized. Blaine and Dillan are the same height and are slightly shorter than the anti-teens.**

 **When I call them anti-teens, that's just based off looks. In my mind fairies and anti-fairies grow differently so their classification of teens is from 50-100 years old.**

 **This also takes place in the past so cell phones, glasses, speakers, weeks, and stuff don't exist yet. They aren't speaking English, it's just translated for your convenience. They probably speak Latin.**

 **Also, Blain, Dillan, and Maria will have bigger roles in the future. I also might accidentally call Dillan Duncan because that was his original name. I based Maria off of my younger sibling who has hyperlexia type 2 and has level three autism, but I don't know any blind or deaf people. I wasn't trying to be offensive with them in any way. That's about it.**


	2. Bad Luck Babies

**Bad Luck Babies**

 **Summary: It's Anti-Cosmo's first Friday the thirteenth, but because him and Anti-Wanda still don't have enough magic to go to Earth, they go to fairy world and mess with their counterparts instead.**

Anti-Schnozmo and Anti-Cosmo poofed into a darkened room.

"Oh geez, Anti-Cosmo, should we really be doing this? Breaking and entering is wrong," Anti-Schnozmo whispered.

"What are you, a fairy? Don't worry so much," Anti-Cosmo replied in a louder voice, but it was still a whisper.

"Why did I agree to this?" Anti-Schnozmo whined.

"Because you're a pushover, and I said please."

"Well, yeah but…" Anti-Schnozmo mumbled. He was cut off by Anti-Cosmo tripping over the couch in the middle of the room. Anti-Schnozmo froze in the air, not sure if he should be more afraid of the house inhabitants waking up at the thud his little brother made or Anti-Cosmo freaking out because he's an 'inadequate excuse of an anti-fairy'.

Anti-Cosmo started floating again. "There's something squishy there, just so you know," he said, putting an end to Anti-Schnozmo's second fear.

"Be more careful," The older anti-fairy scowled.

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

Then the lights turned on which made Anti-Schnozmo immediately scream like a girl and poof away, leaving his sibling in the room with the new person.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Such a loving brother," he mumbled sarcastically, knowing he'd been abandoned.

"W-who a-are y-y-you," a teenage girl fairy stuttered, obviously scared out of her mind. She looked identical to Anti-Wanda, accept she had relatively straight teeth, really light blue hair, and red eyes. She held her wand in very shaky hands with the starred end pointing towards Anti-Cosmo in a threatening fashion.

"Anti-Blonda, correct? I'm Anti-Cosmo, and have come for a play date with your sister."

"I-I don't think M-Mommy and Daddy would like that. They're out today for Friday the thirteenth."

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "Oh parrish the thought. I already checked if it was okay with your progenitors, and they said it was," he lied.

"M-my what?"

The anti-baby rolled his eyes. 'These idiots and their lack of vocabulary,' he thought. "Parents," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Oh…" Anti-Blonda said in a small voice. "Anti-Wanda's room is upstairs, two doors to the left.'

"Cool," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed into the room. Anti-Wanda was still asleep in her large, blue blanketed bed. The younger Anti-Fairy flew over and started shaking his friend. "Anti-Wanda, wake up!"

"Anti-Cosmo?" she asked tiredly. "What are you doin' here?"

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Anti-Wanda shot up in her bed and got really excited. "Oh, I know, I know! Tomorrow is a pronoun!"

"No, it's an adverb or noun, but that's not what I meant. Tomorrow is Friday the thirteenth! My first Friday the thirteenth."

"Oh, I think it's my twelenthed Friday the thirteenth."

"Alright then," Anti-Cosmo said, deciding it wouldn't be worth the effort to try and find out what number she meant by that. "Anyway, Anti-Fairies get more magical power on Friday the thirteenth, even the anti-fairies deemed not fully ready to have a normal wand."

Anti-Wanda stared blankly at Anti-Cosmo, so he sighed. "We have better magic today,"

Anti-Wanda smiled. "Cooliosis," she said.

"My original plan proofed away because he's a wimp, but if we combine our magic, we could probably make it to somewhere debatably better than Earth. We can spread bad luck around Fairy World!"

Anti-Wanda gasped. "But those fairies don't like us!"

"Exactly! And we don't like them. For one day, I can ruin the life of the fairy who ruined mine with his superior intelligence, flying skills, and power!"

* * *

"What's that?" A very young fairy boy asked his mom.

"It's a shoe," She replied.

"I'm gonna make it a three!" the boy said and raised a white rattle with a purple stripe down the middle and a yellow crown picture on the stripe. It glowed yellow and the shoe became a live carp flopping around.

"Cosmo, dear, that's a fish," the boy's mom said.

"Oh," he said. The young fairy, Cosmo, looked basically identical to Anti-Cosmo, besides their color scheme. He had the same green eyes as the anti-fairy and green hair to match it. Cosmo also had fairly pale skin and one tooth in the middle of his top gums instead of fangs. Like all fairies, he had a yellow crown and blue tinted insect-like wings. "Can I please go to the fairy park? They just got lots new things to play with!"

"Well," Cosmo's mom stopped to think for a second. It was Friday the thirteenth, but the anti-fairies usually stayed on Earth, and she never could say 'no' to the puppy dog eyes her son was giving her. "Okay, but be careful."

"Okey dokey," Cosmo said and poofed away

Little did the fairies know, two baby anti-fairies were just outside the door eavesdropping on the conversation. They were both breathing heavy from using more magic than they're used to, but Anti-Cosmo was also slightly confused. "Why would my genius opposite, whose sheer power made further fairy baby births illegal, be asking what a shoe is and turning it into a fish instead of a three?"

"I don't know," Anti-Wanda says.

"He could be lying, but that's not fairy-like at all," Anti-Cosmo thought out loud.

"Maybe he's like me and not, um, what's the word?"

"Smart?"

"Yeah!"

Anti-Cosmo scoffed, "Oh, believe me, an unintelligent fairy wouldn't make his opposite as exceedingly stupid as I am."

"Huh?" Anti-Wanda asked, not understanding some of the words.

The younger anti-fairy sighed, "Nevermind. We should go to the park and spread bad luck to my counterpart anyways." He lifted his wand and Anti-Wanda did the same, poofing them to the Fairy Park where Cosmo was swinging on a swing set. The park was empty except for the three magical children.

"Make a black cat, with your magic," Anti-Cosmo demanded Anti-Wanda.

"Okey dokey," Anti-Wanda said and razed her sky blue rattle. A black cat appeared in front of the fairy.

"Hi there kitty," Cosmo said cheerfully.

Anti-Cosmo chuckled evilly as he raised his magical rattle and made the swing set disappear. Cosmo fell to the ground and the cat ran away terrified.

To the youngest anti-fairies surprise, Cosmo laughed. "The swings went gone, just like Daddy," the baby fairy laughed. He floated up, not bothering to brush off the dust, and flew over to the slide.

"That optimistic little fairy! Why isn't he miserable? He had bad luck!" Anti-Cosmo growled angrily. Although he was decently loud, Cosmo didn't hear him.

"I don't know," Anti-Wanda said.

"He's doing mind games, isn't he. Well, I'll show him! Together, we'll get past his genius and manipulating mind! Make a mirror to break!"

Anti-Wanda razed her rattle again and a mirror appeared in front of Anti-Cosmo. He poofed it at the bottom of the slide.

"Hi there weird green fairy. You're on a slide too!" Cosmo said smiling. He then slides down the slide and shattered the mirror. "Wee, that was fun."

Anti-Cosmo poofed up a safe above his contract part. It crushed the fairy and broke the slide in half. Anti-Cosmo got really happy, he couldn't believe his terrible magic made that big of an object. His joy was soon replaced by anger as the door to the safe fell off and Cosmo flew out smiling wider than before.

"This is the funnest visit to the park ever!" Cosmo laughed and flew to the play structure.

Anti-Cosmo gripped his wand tighter in anger.

"What are you doing?" Anti-Wanda asked when Anti-Cosmo raised his rattle.

He made salt appear. "He

be miserable! So much so that he'll need his own fairy godparents!" Anti-Cosmo said angrily and threw the salt container as hard as he could at his counterpart.

The salt hit Cosmo in the face. "Awe, thank you, random shadowy person hiding in some bushes. I love sugar," Cosmo said and started eating the salt.

"Wait, that's sugar? I want some!" Anti-Wanda said excitedly.

Anti-Cosmo poofed up a large sugar cube for Anti-Wanda, which she started eating with her feet. Anti-Cosmo flew over to Cosmo and snatched his salt back.

"Oh, you're me! But not! Thank you for the sugar. It tasted weird, you should fix it," the youngest fairy said. He was smiling sweetly at Anti-Cosmo.

"I despise you and your manipulating fake idiocy. I would kill you if we weren't immortal," Anti-Cosmo said bitterly.

"What does that mean?" Cosmo asked.

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Anti-Cosmo yelled at his counterpart, scaring the fairy "You already ruined the only holiday that means anything to an anti-fairy and the rest of my entire life."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry I made you not happy. When I'm not happy I eat ice cream! You're me, you love ice cream too, right?" Cosmo asked.

Anti-Cosmo glared at Cosmo. "That's not shutting up."

"You need lots of ice cream. I know just the place," Cosmo said and razed his rattle.

"Don't you dare," Anti-Cosmo threatened.

Cosmo's rattle glowed yellow and Anti-Cosmo disappeared.

"Hey, Anti-Cosmo, I ran out of sugar. Also, when did you change to look exactly like the fairy we were giving bad luck to?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Hi, my name's Cosmo. My sugar got taken."

"Awe, do you miss your sugar too?"

"Yeah," Cosmo signed.

"Life is hard," Anti-Wanda mumbled.

"Yeah," Cosmo agreed.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo appeared in a fairy ice cream parlor in a purple-pink cloud saying 'ice cream'. Once the cloud disappeared, Anti-Cosmo was coughing. "I hate bloody fairy magic," he whined.

"Are you an anti-fairy?" a fairy that looked nearly exactly like Anti-Wanda just with pink hair, peach skin, and bright yellow clothing.

Anti-Cosmo stared blankly at the fairy. Not only was his entire being was in pain from the fairy magic, but a random fairy was just approaching him, an anti-fairy, on Friday the thirteenth of all days.

"Why are you here?" the fairy asked.

"Revenge and spite for my counterpart," Anti-Cosmo said. He didn't know exactly why he told the truth, but he assumed it was because the fairy looked like his best friend.

"Why are you in an ice cream parlor? And how did you get here in a fairy poof cloud?"

The fairies endless questions were starting to annoy Anti-Cosmo. Especially because if he told the truth, like he has been doing, he would have to bring up how Cosmo 'outsmarted' him. "My counterpart is sharp-witted, evil, and hates me."

"His great big evil, genius, and hate-fueled plan was an ice cream parlor? Are you sure that he's all of those things?"

"You know what, fairies need to learn to shut up more," Anti-Cosmo complained.

The fairy looked kind of offended. "Anti-fairies need to learn how to be actually smart. Or maybe how to poof back to their world instead of staying in the place where they're universally hated."

"Ooo, I'm threatened now," Anti-Cosmo said sarcastically.

The fairy narrowed her eyes at Anti-Cosmo. "DADDY!" she yelled. Suddenly in a dark purple cloud, a large adult fairy with a purple suit, black hair, pink eyes, and a five o'clock shadow appeared.

"What do you think you're doing in fairy world, you blue freak?" the man asked and started cracking his knuckles.

The pink haired teenaged fairy crossed her arms and smiled triumphantly as she watched the anti-fairy silently panic.

"Oh, would you look at that, I'm threatened now. Gotta go, bye," Anti-Cosmo said frantically and poofed back to the playground."We need to go back to anti-fairy world," Anti-Cosmo told Anti-Wanda as soon as he got to where her and Cosmo were.

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and both the anti-fairies raised their rattles.

"Bye Anti-Wanda, it was fun playing with you. Also, bye, and me but not me, are you not not happy now?" Cosmo asked smiling and waving when he said bye.

"Are you friends with my counterpart?" Anti-Cosmo questioned kind of judgingly.

"Na, he's really annoying and stupid, but it was funny watching him try to eat the broken mirror with his feet," Anti-Wanda said.

"Okay then," Anti-Cosmo said. He was still slightly weirded out that his best friend was having a somewhat fun time with his complete opposite, but he soon passed it off as Cosmo's incredible acting and manipulation skills. "Anyways, we should still leave."

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and together they poofed back to anti-fairy world, each child in their own house.

"WHERETHEHECKDIDYOUGOIWASWORRIEDALLDAYNEVERDOTHATAGAIN!" Anti-Blonda panicked once Anti-Wanda appeared in front of her.

"I watched a fairy try to get tortured with bad luck," Anti-Wanda said.

"WHATHOWDIDYOUMEETAFAIRYDIDYOUGOTOFAIRYWORLDNEVERLEAVEMYSIGHTAGAIN!"

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and poofed to her room.

After Anti-Blonda started calming down, she started putting the pieces together. 'That Anti-Cosmo kid took my sister to fairy world, didn't he. What a bad role model,' she thought.

As she thought some more, she thought about how Anti-Cosmo puts her sister in dangerous situations because of most likely selfish was starting to resent the baby anti-fairy currently staring at his ceiling in anger and misery from inside his crib.

Anti-Cosmo was in his bed, thinking about how terrible his life is. If the first six months were full of an awful parent, a school where everyone is either terrible at their job or an idiot student, and a holiday that's supposed to be the best time of an anti-fairies life was one of the worst days of his life, he couldn't imagine how the rest of his infinite lifespan would be spent.

His thoughts got interrupted when there was a poof in his room. "Hey, you're back."

"Hey, you're an abandoner."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that," Anti-Schnozmo said, "I thought you would do the same and run back home with me."

"And when I didn't you never bothered to come back."

"If you were killed, there's no use in sacrificing both of us. Who is mother going to torment if we're both dead?"

Anti-Cosmo glared at his brother in reply.

"What even happened after I, um," Anti-Schnozmo started.

"Ran away like the wuss you are?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the 'terrifying' person was Anti-Blonda. Then Anti-Wanda and I went to fairy world and my counterpart was an evil, manipulating sack of torture. After that, I met this pink and yellow fairy that asked a lot of questions in a less southern and and more naggy version of Anti-Wanda's voice. She was probably fairy Wanda, but she threatened me with her huge father. All around it was an atrocious day, and not the good kind of atrocious," Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Well, maybe it'll be better next year," Anti-Schnozmo suggested

"Perhaps if we go to earth instead of the terribly bright fairy world, it would be better," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I'll try not to abandon you next time."

"Let's see how great that goes," Anti-Cosmo remarked.

"If I get you another audio dictionary, would you be less irritated at life?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"It wouldn't hurt."

Anti-Schnozmo sighed and poofed up an audio dictionary for his illiterate brother.

"Happy friday the thirteenth my dear brother," Anti-Cosmo said smiling at his new dictionary.

"Happy Friday the thirteenth," Anti-Schnozmo replied. He couldn't help be smile at his brother's happiness.

 **A/N: Well, this took a while to write. At first, I couldn't decide which idea I had was best for an episode two, but I decided a bad luck centered one would be best, for no good reason really. I started writing it, then got stuck, then school started and I never got around to finishing it. Then I heard a kid saying how it's October and Friday the thirteenth next week, so it's like a super Friday the thirteenth, and I thought 'That would be a perfect time to post this', and so yeah. Here you are. By the way, for the next chapter would you rather read 'The Time Teleporters', or 'Sibling Quest'. Also, I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter so please review. See you next time.**


	3. Sibling Quest

**Chapter 3: Siblings Quest**

 **Summary: After young Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda follow an insane creature, they get poisoned with a disease that makes them increasingly crazy until they eventually get stuck that way forever. It's up to the siblings, Anti-Schnozmo and Anti-Blonda, to find the cure before their siblings run out of time.**

"Field trip, yay," Ms. Magister said. Her voice oozed with so much sarcasm that even Anti-Wanda understood that she didn't actually mean it.

"A field trip? To where?" Blaine asked.

"Think of the most boring things besides the earth dwellers, then captivate them for our 'amusement'," Ms. Magister said. She used air quotes around the word amusement.

"Is it a magical zoo?" Anti-Cosmo guessed.

"Yup."

"Z-O-O spells zoo. Do you want to go to the zoo? Yes, I love the zoo!" Maria said.

"Kay," Ms. Magister said. She didn't know how to respond to that.

A pixie poofed into the room in a gray cloud. He was just an average pixie. "Anybody that is unauthorized to be on this field trip, leave the room now," the pixie said. The whole class stared at the pixie for a couple of seconds until he spoke up again. "Okay, you will now go to Zim Zoo, the zoo of magical creatures slash insects," he said and raised his wand. The circular gray tip glowed a lighter gray and in an equally light gray cloud the class of room 720 got transported to Zim Zoo. Maria laughed and her arms started shaking with joy as she skipped over to a sign that was giving facts about the creature in the glass like cage in front of it.

"Akaname," Maria read, "It can smell dirt and lick things clean with it's ten human foot long tongue."

Inside the cage was a red and warty humanoid with frog-like features and a long tongue. "Can I kill it?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"I bet it would taste great in a pie," Anti-Wanda said.

"Okay, you two," Ms magister said pointing at the leprechaun twins, "You guys have luck, so just stay together and don't get in trouble."

"I never get into trouble," Blaine said.

"Sure you don't. And you two," Ms. Magister said and pointed at the young anti-fairies. "You guys have magic, so just don't be stupid."

"Mum says that's I'm physically incapable of being not stupid," Anti-Cosmo said.

"It's okay, I can be not not stupid for both of us," Anti-Wanda said.

"I don't want to hear about how to eat or kill each animal, and at least one of you is competent enough to survive a couple tenths of an earth's rotation, so just find me when you're either bored or about to die," Ms. Magister said.

"Okay, let's go Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Wanda said and started dragging her friend through the zoo. They saw a variety of animals, like fairy dogs, Allocamelus', Werehyenas, Clurichauns, a Leshi, Bonnacons, a Cockatrice, Vampire Cats, and more. They stopped at a Karakasa-Obake cage. "I like that thing! I'll call him Wilson" Anti-Wanda said pointing at the creature. It was a walking umbrella creature that has two claw-like hands, as well as a single foot (made from the handle) which wears a Japanese sandal. A single large eye sits above a mouth with a long, lolling tongue. The majority of the creature was bright orange but with pitch black teeth that were smiling wide.

"What the hell is that thing?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"I don't know. I can't read," Anti-Wanda said.

"Neither can I," Anti-Cosmo said, "I don't even get how people can tell apart each letter."

The Karakasa-Obake tapped on the glass like cage with its claw-like hands, which made the young anti-fairies return their attention to it. The creature made a weird noise.

"Wilson, what is it?" Anti-Wanda asked.

The creature, Wilson, smiled wider, showing more pitch black teeth. Its blood red eyes glowed slightly. It used its talons to beckon the children forward.

"What's he doing?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"I don't know."

Wilson smiled even wider and started jumping to the back of the cage.

Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Like we're going to follow it," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, we are? Okay," Anti-Wanda said and started flying after Wilson.

"Anti-Wanda, don't run after it! That was sarcasm!" Anti-Cosmo exclaimed and started chasing his friend to a wall next to the cage. Wilson made a noise that sounded like very deep laughter, then he jumped to a part of the cage that was behind the wall.

"Don't leave, Willy! We have to follow you," Anti-Wanda said and razed her rattle.

"Anti-Wanda, wait!" Anti-Cosmo said and grabbed her rattle's top.

"But you said we should," Anti-Wanda argued and her rattle glowed and both of them poofed through the wall saying 'employees only'.

They appeared on the other side of the wall and saw a metal hatch that looked like it could be opened on a part of the glass like cage.

"Hey, I wanted to go into the cage. What happened?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"It's probably a magic proof cage," Anti-Cosmo said. He took his hand off of Anti-Wanda's rattle.

Wilson started tapping on the metal hatch with his claws.

"What does he want?" Anti-Wanda asked Anti-Cosmo.

"Probably for us to open that gray thing," Anti-Cosmo answered.

"If we open it, can we get inside with him?"

"Most likely, but what would we get out of it? Animals are so needy, and besides, it's really bright colored."

"Come on, he's friendly. Just look at that smile! We should play with him."

Anti-Cosmo contemplated it for a second. "Okay," he said, "it seems decently harmless."

"Yay!" Anti-Wanda rejoiced.

Anti-Cosmo walked up to the metal hatch and pushed it inward with some difficulty. It had a lot of resistance to it. After it was pushed inward enough, the creature's long tongue shot out and started slithering all over Anti-Cosmo's face.

"Ew!" Anti-Cosmo yelled and took his hands off of the hatch, immediately closing it and chopping off a large chunk of the tongue. It fell to the floor and squirmed wildly, but the children didn't care and the creature just continued to smile with half of his tongue missing.

"Ew, it's so disgusting! I think its saliva is in my mouth! This is worse than torture!" Anti-Cosmo cried frantically trying to wipe the saliva off his face.

"What's saliva? Does it taste good? Is it the stuff on your face?" Anti-Wanda asked. Anti-Cosmo didn't answer because he was too busy trying to clean off his face, so Anti-Wanda wanted to find out for herself whether the saliva tasted good or not so she licked his face. "You could have just told me it doesn't taste good," Anti-Wanda complained.

"You made it worse!" Anti-Cosmo cried and started wiping his face off more frantically.

"Hey!" a new voice said, "What are you two doing back here?" The voice was a random fairy in a zoo uniform.

"Following Wilson," Anti-Wanda said. "It was Anti-Cosmo's idea."

"I got dirty bright orange creature saliva on me!" Anti-Cosmo complained to the fairy.

The zoo employee signed. "Freaking anti-fairies. Where are your parents and/or guardians?"

"Um, Ms. Teacher is our current guardian. She's a fairy and is probably boredly floating next to a really bright yellow elf," Anti-Cosmo said, calming down slightly.

"Oh, I know who you're talking about," the fairy said and razed his wand.

"No, wait!" Anti-Cosmo started, but the fairy wasn't listening.

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda appeared in front of Ms. Magister and Maria. The anti-fairies started coughing because of the fairy magic. Anti-Cosmo coughed more violently since he's younger.

"Ooo, someone got in trooooubllllle," Ms. Magister said, but in a still incredibly bored tone.

"I found Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda. They are my favorite. Just like the alphabet," Maria said.

"I suddenly hate it here. Can we go home now?" Anti-Cosmo complained after he stopped coughing.

"I hate it here too. It's boring," Anti-Wanda said.

"But the luck twins aren't back yet," Ms. Magister said.

As if it was cued, the leprechaun twins ran up to them covered in see-through purple goo. Dillan was smiling but Blaine looked terrified. "We should probably go now," Blaine said.

'This place is fun,' Dillan signed.

Ms. Magister poofed the goo off the twins.

"Well, it's four against two at the least," Ms. Magister said and flicked her wand. They were all transported to room 720 in a gray cloud.

"Your field trip has come to an end," the pixie from earlier said then disappeared in a gray cloud.

"So what did you guys learn today?" Ms. Magister asked.

"I learned that zoos are boring and animals are evil," Blaine said.

"I learned that the new, even the most important," Anti-Cosmo said.

"What?" Ms. Magister questioned.

"I didn't say anything," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Okay then. I suddenly got reminded I don't care what you learned. Play around with the stuff here until school ends," Ms. Magister said and left the children alone. Maria grabbed a book on animals off the shelf and started reading it, Dillan and Blaine grabbed random toys off the shelves, and Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda floated into a corner and talked.

The five of them stayed like that for a couple of hours. Nobody really paid attention to the anti-fairies until Anti-Wanda tiptoed across the floor instead of flying and stole Dillan's leprechaun hat then ran back to the corner with Anti-Cosmo. Dillan looked at them confused.

"Wait, what just happened?" Blaine asked.

Nobody answered Blaine, but Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were laughing like crazy.

"Quick, find a light source!" Anti-Wanda said.

"How dare you question my authority?" Anti-Cosmo said with a questioning tone of voice.

"Are they playing a weird sort of game?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know," Ms. Magister said. It was the first time in hours she paid attention to any of the children.

"We need to save _the_ whales," Anti-Wanda said, emphasizing the word 'the'.

"Never! They're all made of cheese and regret. We need to save the bees," Anti-Cosmo replied.

"Are they okay?" Blaine asked. "I mean, I know they're anti-fairies, and those guys are weird, but they've never done this before."

"Yeah, you're right. Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, go to the nurse's office," Ms. Magister said.

Anti-Cosmo signed. "Why is it that every time disaster strikes, I find myself without a propeller blade?" he asked.

"It's because lies are like fake truths," Anti-Wanda replied.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Well I ain't callin' you a truther!" Anti-Wanda said.

Anti-Cosmo glared at Anti-Wanda. "No one makes me bleed my own blood," he said threateningly.

"Can't touch this!" Anti-Wanda yelled and started running around in circles.

Ms. Magister grabbed both of the anti-fairies by the collar of their uniforms and lifted them off the floor, since neither one was flying.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM MY JELLY!" Anti-Cosmo yelled and started squirming.

Ms. Magister signed. "You guys got poisoned at the zoo, didn't you?"

* * *

"They got poisoned at the zoo," The school nurse said. He was a fairy with flat black hair and blue eyes, a yellow floating crown, and blue wings.

"Oh great," Ms. Magister said sarcastically. "When will they be not completely insane?"

"Well, since they're so young," The nurse started, but he was cut off by a dark blue poof.

"Anti-Wanda, is she okay? Where is she? Is it that Anti-Cosmo's fault?" Anti-Blonda asked frantically.

"Um, well, she's-" The nurse started, but was cut off again by a dark blue poof.

"I heard Anti-Wanda was in the nurse's office, is Anti-Cosmo here?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"Well, he, they-" the nurse started.

"Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Blonda said, sounding offended. "That little green eyed demon is dragging my Anti-Wanda into bad situations."

"O-okay, I'm sorry for mentioning him. Please don't hurt me. I'll leave now," Anti-Schnozmo said and raised his wand. Ms. Magister took it from him.

"You're Anti-Cosmo's wuss brother with a freakishly small nose right?" She asked. He nodded. "And you're Anti-Wanda's twin sister that she wouldn't shut up about until Anti-Cosmo came to school, right?"

Anti-Blonda didn't see the teacher there before so she started getting nervous. "U-um, y-yes. Anti-Blonda," She said.

"Good," Ms. Magister said, "I have a class to run, or something, and you have siblings to fix. Now stop cutting off nurse what's-his-face and actually learn what to do." Without giving time for any sort of reply, she poofed out and let Anti-Schnozmo's wand fall to the ground. He picked it up and then both the anti-teen's attention were on the nurse.

"I have a name you know," He mummbled, then looked at the anti-teens. "Anyways, both of your siblings have a weird disease they got from the field trip to the zoo earlier today."

"What's wrong with them?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Well, you see," the nurse started but was interrupted by a blue poof once again. This time it was Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda.

Their usually bright green and pink eyes had blood red splotches all over them. They were also standing on the ground and their hands holding their rattles were shaking. They both had huge smiles on their faces.

Anti-Blonda gasped in surprise at the sight of her sister like that. "Anti-Cosmo, what happened?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"My name is Anti-Cosmo, but you can call me tomorrow," Anti-Cosmo said, but his voice sounded weird. His accent was slightly less british and he was hissing the 'S'es and making the 'C's much more prominent than usual.

"W-was that a pick up line?" Anti-Schnozmo questioned.

"Anyone in the mood for A LOAD of chicken?!" Anti-Wanda asked, then giggled. Her voice was off too. She sounded less southern and was slurring everything together.

"H-how do we fix this?" Anti-Blonda asked.

The nurse poofed the two younger anti-fairies back into the room that they were previously in, but didn't poof away their rattles so they fell to the ground. "I need to stay here and keep their symptoms as low down as I can get. You guys need to get the cure together. And fast. They probably have about a fifth of an earth's rotation before they get stuck in a crazy state forever." (A Fifth of an earth's rotation is about five hours)

"A FIFTH!?" both siblings questioned in unison.

"Yup," the nurse confirmed. He poofed a list into the teens' hands. "Now go find that stuff," He said and poofed away.

Both teens looked at the list in their hands. "We need DNA from the creature that infected them," Anti-Schnozmo said, "We should go to the zoo they went to and get some from the creature."

"Okay," Anti-Blonda agreed in a small voice.

Anti-Schnozmo could tell she was taking the whole situation worse than he was, so as much as he hated it, he had to be the leader. "I'll go find out which zoo they went to," He said and poofed away. A couple minutes later he poofed Anti-Blonda to Zim Zoo with him. "Okay, so it's a big zoo. Ms. Teacher, as Anti-Cosmo calls her, said that they went this way together, so maybe we should go this way."

"Okay."

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo said. Anti-Blonda's single word answers were sort of starting to creep Anti-Schnozmo out, but he ignored it and flew in the direction his sibling went before with Anti-Blonda close behind. They stopped at the first animal cage, a fairy dog, who was currently sleeping. "Do you think Anti-Wanda would be um," Anti-Schnozmo looked at the paper the nurse gave them, "Licked, or came in contact with the saliva/DNA of this creature?"

"I don't know," Anti-Blonda said, "And it's you're sibling who's a bad role model. He's the one that got them both doomed."

"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry I thought otherwise," Anti-Schnozmo said and kept flying.

Anti-Blonda's immense fear for her sister's fate was lessened slightly as she thought about how unneeded and rehearsed Anti-Schnozmo's apology was. She knows from sharing the same class as him that he's a pushover, but she didn't really know the extent of it.

They stopped in front of the Allocamelus cage next. There was a tour guide in front of it who was the same fairy worker that caught Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda earlier. "This is the Allocamelus," the tour guide fairy said, "or asscamel, if you will. It's half camel, half ass, or donkey. And- hey aren't you the girl from earlier that was hanging out in the back? When did you change your uniform to black? And where'd that weird green eyed one go?"

"You saw Anti-Wanda hanging out in the back? Which cage was she closest to?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Um, could you please tell us everything you know?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

After a bit of explaining, the fairy told them everything that he knew and filed a report to get the Karakasa-Obake checked out.

"I knew it was your brother's fault. He was the one who was covered in spit and he's the one that somehow infected Anti-Wanda," Anti-Blonda said as they were floating to the cage of the Karakasa-Obake.

"The disease is transferred through spit. Maybe they made out," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled almost inaudibly.

"What did you say?" Anti-Blonda asked out of actual curiosity.

"Nothing, sorry, you're right, Anti-Cosmo is the worst thing in the universe and I'm sorry I'm related to him," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Y-you're weird,' Anti-Blonda mumbled.

"I'll try not to be from now on."

"Kay," Anti-Blonda said. They got to the cage, which was now empty. They poofed through the wall and saw the chunk of the tongue lying motionless on the floor. Anti-Schnozmo poofed it into a stereotypical giant witch cauldron, then poofed that to the school's nurses office. He looked for what was next on the list.

* * *

About four and a half hours later, they got everything on the list into the giant cauldron. Everything except two.

"Oh," Anti-Schnozmo said, "These last two are on Earth."

"What are they?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"The head of a recently killed dragon, and a lock of hair from a girl who just their first kiss 10 minutes previous."

"That's awfully specific," Anti-Blonda said.

"Indeed it is," Anti-Schnozmo agreed. "And since it's not Friday the thirteenth, we probably need to combine our magic."

"What do you mean 'combine our magic'?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"It's something Anti-Cosmo found out. When he and Anti-Wanda both use their magic for the same thing, it makes their magic combine and it makes their special needs rattles slightly less completely useless."

"Oh, that's smart. Okay then. Where do we poof too?"

"There's a place that Mother complains about having to go to every Friday the thirteenth. It's called 'Ye Old Dimmsdale' I think. She said she disagreed with a child, who was also the daughter of the chief, and she made them a giant castle and dragon to guard it."

"That is also awfully specific. Why would your mom do that?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"She's weird and evil. Believe me, that's not the worst thing she's ever done."

"O-okay. I guess we should go to Ye Old Dimmsdale."

"Yeah," Anti-Schnozmo said and raised his wand. Anti-Blonda did the same and they poofed to Ye Old Dimmsdale.

The second they arrived, a dragon roared directly behind them.

"Not good," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled. Both anti-fairies turned around to be face to face with a giant dragon. It was as big as the twenty story castle behind it and it's thousands of scales were dark red.

"Do they sense fear, or is that dinosaurs. Do you stab them in the eye? No, that's a cyclops. What the heck do you do with a dragon?!" Anti-Blonda asked as the deep green eyes of the dragon looked over them.

"Dragons are most weak at their fire glands, found inside of the neck. If one was to block off both fire glands, the dragon would lose the ability to breathe fire, and breath in general," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"You sure?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"I had to write it twelve times because other kids always make me do their homework. Of course, any suggestion of mine is stupid and worthless, so any idea you have would be infinitely better than mine."

Anti-Blonda would have said something, but she was too off-put by the enormous eyes staring right at her. "W-we should p-poof into the throat and kill it," Anti-Blonda said.

"Can't. A dragon's scales and teeth are magic proof, so it's impossible to poof into one. Also, it's impossible to fly inside parts of a dragon, such as its stomach," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Then we should, umm," Anti-Blonda started, but then the dragon began moving, making her freeze completely. The dragon grabbed both anti-children, one for each of its claw like hands. It narrowed its eyes at Anti-Schnozmo.

"Are you the least terrible son of Anti-Cosma?" It asked with a deep grumbly voice.

"I-I, um, yes?" Anti-Schnozmo replied.

"The children of Anti-Cosma go to the castle," it said and threw Anti-Schnozmo as hard as it could into the castle behind them. He crashed through one of the walls, making a small hole, but because he was immortal he wasn't seriously hurt.

The dragon turned its attention to Anti-Blonda. She stared at him completely frozen. The dragon smiled and plopped Anti-Blonda into its mouth, then it closed its teeth making her unable to escape.

"I'm so dead," Anti-Blonda mumbled as she looked around the inside of the mouth.

* * *

"That was painful," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled as he floated out of the wall rubble. Suddenly, the wall rebuilt itself. "What? Why?" he asked, not expecting an answer.

"Is someone there?" A female voice asked from a room right next to the one he was in. The voice sounded nothing like Anti-Blonda, so Anti-Schnozmo's first reaction was to scream and try to poof to his room. When he tried, his wand cued over and the tip turned dark brown.

"No, don't do this to me," Anti-Schnozmo complained to his wand. He flicked it to its original shape and color and he saw the door start to open. A teenage human girl walked out of the door. She had somewhat dark skin, which was normal for people living on that continent at the time, and she had somewhat short brown hair that looked like it was cut herself and blue eyes.

She started looking around the room as Anti-Schnozmo held onto his wand and floated there, hoping the girl wouldn't attack him just because he was an anti-fairy. "Is anybody here? I heard you scream." the girl said.

Anti-Schnozmo and the girl locked eyes, but then she still looked around.

"A-are you blind?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

The girl scoffed. "No. I don't even know what a blind is."

"It means you can't see," he said.

"I can see fine, stop hiding. I just want a way out of here."

"Okay, I'll try," Anti-Schnozmo said, then something dawned on him. Humans can't see anti-fairies, so he had to not be an anti-fairy. "Close your eyes and I'll stop hiding."

The girl looked confused, but she closed her eyes anyway. Anti-Schnozmo poofed into a human form. He looked pretty much the same, but his body was proportioned to be like a teenaged human. His hair went from navy blue to black and his skin turned peach like a fairy's. He made his wand disappear. "Y-you can open your eyes now, if you want too," he said.

She did and smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Tanis, daughter of Chief Turner. I was trapped in the prison for may suns, and I need out." She said.

"I need a chunk your hair after we exchange saliva," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"What?" Tanis questioned.

"You're right, that was a stupid request, I'll leave now," Anti-Schnozmo quickly responded. He started to walk to a door when Tanis stopped him.

"Wait, I'll do whatever you want as long as it gets me out of this torture chamber," She said.

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo said. He really didn't want the girl to escape, because his mom would yell at him, or not care in the slightest. It was about a 50 50 chance that his mom completely forgot about the young princess. He could, of course, leave her and take her hair, but that would be a terrible thing to do. The possibility of running far and fast didn't look like such a bad idea. A completely insane brother might not be too bad. Then again, Anti-Cosmo is basically the only person that talks to him for reasons other than making him do their work for them.

"Are you going to do something?" Tanis asked, breaking Anti-Schnozmo's train of thought.

"Um, maybe," he said.

"Hurry up, I want to escape already."

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo said and kissed her.

Tanis smiled once they stopped. "That was actually kind of nice," she said.

Anti-Schnozmo poofed up something sharp behind his back and cut off a small piece of Tanis's hair, and poofed it away behind his back.

"Let's go now," Tanis said.

"Okay, close your eyes," Schnozmo said.

Tanis closed her eyes and Anti-Schnozmo made his wand appear in his hand. He tried to poof the girl back to her village, but his wand tip went brown and limp again. "I really hate it when you do that," Anti-Schnozmo told his wand.

"What?"

"N-nothing," Anti-Schnozmo lied, "Just keep your eyes closed." He assumed the wall rebuild itself because his mom put a curse on the building, making humans unable to be poofed out. 'I could walk her out of here,' Anti-Schnozmo thought, 'it should be Mother's basic giant-castle-torture-chamber design. But then again…'

Anti-Schnozmo raised his wand and poofed himself out off the castle. '...there's nothing against anti-fairies being able to poof out.' He made himself look like he usually does, then he made eye contact with the dragon, who still had its head attached to his body.

"Where's Anti-Blonda?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. The dragon pointed at his mouth. ANti-Schnozmo sighed. "Can I join her?" He asked. The dragon shook his head no. "Can I talk to her?" The dragon shrugged in response and opened its lips so Anti-Schnozmo and Anti-Blonda could talk through its teeth.

"Why haven't you illed-kay the agon-day yet?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"What?" Anti-Blonda asked. It sounded like she was crying.

Anti-Schnozmo rolled his eyes. "Do you even pay attention in class?"

"No, I don't. School is stupid and I only go so I don't get questioned by my parents. Where were you this whole time anyway?"

"I was getting the second to last ingredient, then abandoned a human. Why haven't you done anything?"

"I'm inside of a dragon's mouth!" Anti-Blonda complained, "If I go to its throat, what if it swallows and I get stuck in its stomach to be imprisoned forever?"

"What if you don't and Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to be crazy forever?"

Anti-Blonda whined, but she finally stopped floating near the teeth and went into the throat. "I hate this," Anti-Blonda complained as she approached a pair of holes. Both had a diameter of about half the size of the anti-teen. She poofed up two giant rubber spiders, because she couldn't think of anything better, and she plugged the hole closer to her with one of the spiders. The dragon yelled, which vibrated the air around Anti-Blonda. In fear, she quickly plugged the other hole and flew out of the now open mouth.

"Wow, I can't believe you actually listened to me. Thank you," Anti-Schnozmo said once they reunited.

"U-um, y-you're welcome?" Anti-Blonda said kind of unsurely.

The dragon was obviously dying. It was trying to scream, but couldn't with its airways closed. It fell over, destroying half of the castle-like prison behind it, and died. With the dragon no longer being alive, the magic proof scales lost their powers. Anti-Schnozmo poofed away just the head, decapitating it.

"We should go back to the school," Anti-Blonda said.

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo agreed. They both raised their wands and poofed back to the school.

Unnoticed by the anti-teens, the castle wasn't rebuilding itself, the dragon corpse was in the way, making a giant hole in half of the prison.

* * *

"You know, when I said you had a fifth of a solar cycle, I didn't mean take your sweet time and use up the whole fifth," the nurse said.

"But we got everything in time right?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Yes. You were barely in time, but they'll be fine," the nurse said.

Anti-Cosmo poofed out of the room he was in and look confused. He looked like he was back to normal. "Wasn't I just at the zoo? Did I do something stupid again? Does mum know? Where's Anti-Wanda?" He asked frantically.

Anti-Wanda poofed next to him. She looked normal too. "I like following people," She said.

Anti-Blonda hugged her twin sister. "Anti-Wanda I'm so glad you're okay," she said.

"Why?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Dang it, I did do something stupid," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

"Well, it was more of you and Anti-Wanda had a team effort of stupidity," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Sounds likely enough," Anti-Cosmo said and raised his rattle.

"What are you doing?" Anti-Schnozmo asked his brother.

"Poofing back to class. I have important nothingness to get caught up on."

"Oh, the school's rotation ended, like, one twenty-fifth of an earth's rotation ago." (One hourish)

"Wait, schools over?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Yup! Bye bad-influences," Anti-Blonda said and poofed away in a blue cloud saying 'there's no place like home'.

"I don't think Anti-Wanda's sister likes us. Did you be a wuss around her?"

"Well, yeah, but it's also because you've dragged her sister into a somewhat dangerous situation three times now."

"Hey, taking over the school, going to fairy world, and whatever stupid thing I did today didn't really do any long term damage, now did it," Anti-Cosmo said and raised his rattle.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Anti-Schnozmo said and raised his wand too. They poofed back home together.

* * *

Back on earth, a teenage human girl was climbing down the decapitated dragon's corpse. She looked furious. "I'll show that small nosed freak what happens when you break promises with the daughter of the chief!"

 **A/N: Dun dun dun! Tanis actually won't come back for a couple of chapters. Next will be the time teleporters(most likely). Sorry this took so long, I was writing both this and time teleporters, so that chapter is about a fourth done. Here's it's summary:** The class get's a magical portal to the future so the kids can send letters to their future selves. Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda jump through it and meet their future selves, their future child, and their future enemies. **So there's that. Because it's a fourth of the way written, it should be out faster. Again, sorry it took over a month. Please tell me what you think of this chapter with a review! Also, I'm glad you like YAF Williams88. Till next time/**


	4. The Time Teleporters

**Chapter 4: The Time Teleporters**

 **Summary: The class get's a magical portal to the future so the kids can send letters to their future selves. Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda jump through it and meet their future selves, their future child, and their future enemies.**

"Alrighty class, most of the time us special needs classes are safe from whatever stupid thing the other classes are doing, like electing class presidents on the first day. That's a real stupid one. But anyway, today we're forced to conform with the rest of the school and send letters to your future selves," Ms. Magister explained with the words appearing above her head. She poofed a giant gray cube with a hole in the middle that was just big enough for a young teenaged fairy to fit through onto the floor. She flipped a switch and the hole got a blue white and red rotating spiral with white stars rotating the other way on top of it.

Anti-Cosmo raised his hand and Ms. Magister groaned. "If you're going to ask 'How are we going to send letters to our future selves if we're illiterate,' then I'll shove my wand down your throat," she said, doing a bad impression of Anti-Cosmo's high pitch british voice in the middle.

Anti-Cosmo lowered his hand.

"Wait, what was your question going to be?" Anti-Wanda asked Anti-Cosmo with genuine curiosity.

"Nothing important," Anti-Cosmo answered.

"Oh, okay. Which letter are you going to send? I'm going to send the letter four," Anti-Wanda said.

"Four's a number, not a letter," Blaine corrected.

"Also wrong kind of letter," Anti-Cosmo explained, "You're using the first definition: a character representing one or more of the sounds used in speech; any of the symbols of an alphabet, although it's actually the second definition: a written communication, especially one sent in an envelope by mail or messenger."

"What?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Explain the concept later," Ms. Magister said and handed a piece of paper to all five of the children, "This is a special paper that when you talk into it writes itself. Dillan, Maria, you can use it as normal paper."

Dillan gives a head nod and thumbs up in reply, but Maria already grabbed a feather and ink and was writing in fairly neat handwriting for someone as young as her.

"Okay, start I guess," Ms. Magister said and poofed to behind her desk. Dillan and Blaine started writing and whispering their letters to their future selves. Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda went to a wall decently far away from everyone.

"We should go to the future," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Why?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Well, I want to see if I took over the universe or not. And I want to steal a real wand that actually functions properly, and will have advanced future super magic too," Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Will the future have fancy candy?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Probably."

"Okay, let's go after we make our letters," Anti-Wanda said.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Fine. We can finish the letters first."

A couple minutes passed then the young anti-fairies floated up to Ms. Magister.

"We finished our letters," Anti-Cosmo said, "is there anything specific we need to do to not completely destroy it when it goes through the teleporter?"

"No. There's not a 'destroy' button on it. Just throw the letters in," she replied.

Anti-Cosmo smiled evilly. "Perfect," he whispered, then grabbed Anti-Wanda's hand that wasn't holding her letter. Together they ran through the time teleporter and disappeared.

"Yes, Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo will come back," Maria said.

Ms. Magister ignored Maria and look at the time teleporter. "If they get me fired, I'm suing," She said.

* * *

"Okay class!" an upbeat fairy teacher exclaimed as she stood in front of a chalk board. "As class present, Poof will be in charge of the class for the rest of the day!"

All the students cheered except for two. One was a circular fairy baby with purple eyes and one strand of curling dark purple hair. He was wearing the normal black uniform for spellementary school. Instead of cheering, the fairy child was smiling modestly. The second student not cheering was a dark blue skinned anti-fairy, and he was glaring at the fairy in anger. The anti-fairy had the same purple eyes as the fairy, but also a small, pointy black moustache and goatee, and a single dark blue strand of hair on the top of his head.

The purple based fairy floated out of his chair and went to the front of the class. "Thank you Ms. Powers," he said, then turned to the class. "Because I'm in charge of the class, I say that it's free time for the rest of the day!" the fairy, presumably named Poof, said, then he floated back to his seat.

The class, except for the same two, cheered again.

The anti-fairy glared at Poof. "I despise you," he said. He had a somewhat deep british accent.

"Okay," Poof responded. It was obvious that he already knew that. Suddenly, a portal like thing with blue, white, and red rotating spiral with white stars rotating the other way appeared at the front of the class. The students stared at it in confusion, then two young human shaped anti-fairies fell out. Each one was holding a paper in one hand and a bright blue rattle in the other. Both wore bright blue uniforms that looked like they belonged to the school. They looked around with their green and pink eyes. The square anti-fairy's jaw dropped at the sight of them.

"Wow," the pink eyed one, Anti-Wanda, said. "It's the future!"

The green eyed one, Anti-Cosmo, pointed a finger at Poof. "You," he said, "Roughly how many Earth solar cycles has it been since the beginning?"

"What?" Poof asked.

"Oh my, are you two from the past?" the fairy teacher, Ms. Powers, asked.

"What's a past?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Indeed we are from the past!" Anti-Cosmo said dramatically. "I am Anti-Cosmo, and this is Anti-Wanda. I wish to know if I own you all yet, so where is my old self?"

"Um, Foop, this seems like a you sort of problem," Ms. Powers said, talking the the square anti-fairy. "If Poof allows it, you can take the day off to handle this."

"I allow it," Poof said.

The purple eyed anti-fairy, Foop, was too awestruck by the young anti-fairies in front of him that he didn't say a witty comeback. "Okay," he said instead, then he razed his magic bottle and poof the two anti-fairies and himself outside of the school.

"An anti-fairy! There was more!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed.

"He's a square, so his counterpart must have been made by magical means," Anti-Cosmo said.

"What are you two doing? You can't just barge into my class like that to… What are you even trying to do?" Foop scolded them.

"Anti-Cosmo, I don't understand," Anti-Wanda said, "What's he talking about."

Anti-Cosmo looked at Foop. "Foop, is it? That's a stupid name. I'm guessing you're Poof's opposite, but who makes their child's name their counterpart's name backwards? It's vacuous!"

Foop crossed his stubby arms. "Are you done?" he asked.

"Yeah, but your name is really foolish. Who ever thought of it should be ashamed. Anyway, why are we your 'sort of problem'? Is it just anti-fairy racism?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Foop rolled his eyes. "Stop pretending, " he said.

"But we aren't pretending anything. Right?" Anti-Wanda said.

"So you're saying if I call you right now, you'll answer in your 'grown up voice'?" Foop asked.

"Yeah, but only if our adult selves are in yelling distance," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Let's see about that," Foop said and pulled out a dark blue cell phone.

"What's that?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"How's a dark blue thing going to put us in earshot?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Foop rolled his eyes again as the phone rung. To his surprise, someone actually answered.

"Why are you calling me? I'm in the middle of planning universal domination and you should be in the middle of intense learning. This better be life or death," an angry sounding male british voice said through the phone.

"Wait… but you… where's Mother?" Foop asked.

"What's he doing?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"No idea," Anti-Cosmo replied.

Through the phone, a female southern voice said, "Hey sugar plum! Your father doesn't like you calling during the meetings. Bye!"

"No, wait!" Foop yelled into the phone.

"Is he crazy?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Probably," Anti-Cosmo replied.

"Why should we wait?" the male British voice asked.

"Listen to this," Foop said and held the phone in front of Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda. He put it on speaker. "Say something."

"I'm not going to talk to a blue rectangle you schizophrenic weirdo," Anti-Cosmo said.

"It looks fancy on this side. What do all those buttons do?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Foop, who are they?" the male British voice asked.

"Wow, a voice. Hi voice!" Anti-Wanda said.

Anti-Cosmo pointed his rattle at Foop threateningly. "How are you doing that?" he asked. Foop ignored him.

"Wait, is that…?" the female southern one asked, trailing off.

"Maybe," the British voice responded.

"I'm Anti-Wanda. Anti-Cosmo, say your name to the voices," Anti-Wanda said.

"Oh, it must be fancy voice projecting future technology," Anti-Cosmo realized. "Who are the voices though. Is the deeper one me? How does a little baby like you get me on the fancy future device? Did I become famous or not?"

"Foop, where are you three?" the male voice asked.

"In front of the school," Foop answered.

"Keep them occupied. We'll be there soon," the male voice said, then hung up.

"That is me, isn't it?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"If we're Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo, and we meet old Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo, what would I call myself?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"That's actually a pretty good question," Anti-Cosmo said.

Foop smiled evilly, and it looked a lot like Anti-Cosmo's evil smile. "Maybe we should call you two Omsoc and Adnaw," he said.

"I will never be called that," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I like it!" Anti-Wanda said. "Omsoc, we should call ourselves that!"

Anti-Cosmo looked at Anti-Wanda and smiled. "Okay Adnaw," he said, then glared at Foop. "You're lucky my magic is too weak to kill you."

Foop started laughing maniacally. A dark blue poof happened behind Foop and a black starred wand hit him on his square head.

"Don't laugh at young us," the male British voice said. The voice belonged to a somewhat average looking anti-fairy. He had a blue fancy suit on and had dark blue spiky hair. Instead of a black crown, he had a blue and black bowler hat. He also had two white fangs and a monocle over his right bright green eye.

"Wow! We were so short when we were young!" the female southern voice said. She relatively looked like a normal anti-fairy too. She had big crooked teeth, dark blue swirly hair, pink eyes, and a dark blue shirt on.

"Hi there strangers! I'm Adnaw and this is Omsoc. Do you know where our old selves are?" Anti-Wanda asked.

The British accented adult glared at Foop. "Really, Omsoc and Adnaw. Very creative," he said sarcastically.

"Hey they were making fun of my name!" Foop complained.

"It's a stupid name," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Shut up," Foop said.

Anti-Cosmo pointed to the british male. "Older me, what is Foop's relationship to us and why haven't we killed him yet?"

The british male, older Anti-Cosmo, smiled slightly. "He's just a weird kid I can't get rid of for the life of me. Trust me, I would kill him if I could."

The southern female, most likely older Anti-Wanda, laughed. The young Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda didn't get what was so funny.

Foop rolled his eyes. "Real mature Father," he said.

Anti-Cosmo put two and two together, but Anti-Wanda didn't. "Who's your father?" she asked.

"I have a child! I don't want a child! Especially not this stupid cube of evil!" Anti-Cosmo cried.

Older Anti-Cosmo chuckled. "We were cute kids, weren't we."

"Yup," Older Anti-Wanda said.

"You were terrible kids from what I gather," Foop remarked.

"Ooh, Foop's my son!" Anti-Wanda finally released.

"No, he's my son," Anti-Cosmo corrected.

"He's both your guy's son," older Anti-Cosmo said.

"No, no, no, no, no," Anti-Cosmo protested, "We can't be together! It's bad enough I have a child! Anti-Wanda and I are just really good friends!"

Anti-Wanda got excited. "We get married! That's wonderful!"

"I'll never get married!" Anti-Cosmo complained.

As young Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda argue whether or not they'll ever marry, Foop looks at his parents. "Why did you come here as children? Was it just to torment me?"

"I don't remember," older Anti-Wanda said.

"Neither do I. Either we're rewriting time, which is unlikely, or we get our memories wiped after this," older Anti-Cosmo explained.

"So, it just happens to torment me. Good to know," Foop said.

Unnoticed by the future anti-fairies, the past ones stopped arguing and started scheming.

"What does torment mean?" older Anti-Wanda asked.

"Torture," older Anti-Cosmo answered.

"Oh. Sweety, we would never want to torture you," older Anti-Wanda said.

"Young us didn't even know you existed until now, if you couldn't figure that out yet," Older Anti-Cosmo said. Just then, his wand was stolen from his hand.

Young Anti-Cosmo laughed. "I have the power now! Anti-Binky will stand in my way no longer!" he exclaimed.

"Anti-Binky?" Foop questioned. "Who's that?"

"The old ruler of Anti-Fairy World," older Anti-Wanda said.

"Old? Who's the new one?" young Anti-Cosmo asked.

"You probably shouldn't know that yet," older Anti-Cosmo said. He took his wand back with relieve eas.

"So, Father, what are we going to do with them?" Foop asked.

"Take them to the castle, and don't tell them who the actual leader of Anti-Fairy World is," older Anti-Cosmo said. He told Foop the last part quietly so the past anti-fairies couldn't hear.

"What are you and Mother going to do?" Foop asked.

"We'll find a way to get our young selfs back to their time period," He answered.

"Good luck with that," Foop said and raised his bottle to poof him and the past anti-fairies to the castle.

"One more thing," Older Anti-Cosmo said just before Foop poofed away, "don't take your eyes off them and don't let them touch your wand."

"I'm not your counterpart Father, I can handle a couple of children for a few minutes," Foop said then proceeded to poof him and his future parents away, leaving older Anti-Cosmo and older Anti-Wanda in front of the school.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Older Anti-Wanda asked.

"We'll devise a plan on how to procure the thing that brought us here," older Anti-Cosmo said.

"What?" Anti-Wanda questioned.

"We'll find and get what sent young us here," Anti-Cosmo restated in easier to understand words.

"Oh, okay. So what do we do?"

The anti-fairy adults started strategizing on how to obtain the time teleporter.

* * *

Foop, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda poofed into the older Anti-Cosmo's castle.

"Where are we?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Your future house," Foop said.

"It's large," Anti-Cosmo said, "are we rich or something?"

"No, this is an average sized house in the future," Foop lied. "Now, you know how to play hide and seek, right?"

"Nope," Anti-Wanda said.

"Never heard of it," Anti-Cosmo said simultaneously.

Foop sighed. "Well, it's where people hide, and one person seeks them. The point is to not be found first. It's supposed to be fun. I'll seek, you hide. Try to hide in a place I won't find you, but no cheating so stay inside the house and no wands," Foop explained and took their rattles.

"It's not like we could go very far with them," Anti-Cosmo remarked.

"Come on Anti-Cosmo, let's go hide," Anti-Wanda said. Anti-Cosmo was glad that she forgot about the backwards name thing and followed her through the castle. They hid together, not really understanding the point of hide and go seek, and waited.

Foop poofed a comic book up. "Here I come," Foop lied as he poofed up a black lounging chair and started reading the comic.

* * *

Sometime later, spellementary school got released, and Poof went to a house on Earth.

Inside the room was a fish bowl with two goldfish instead and a ten-year-old boy with a pink shirt and hat that was sitting at a desk trying, and failing, to do math homework.

"The strangest thing happened at school today," Poof said. The two goldfish poofed out of the bowl and became two full grown fairies. One had green spiky hair and green eyes. He also had a white shirt with a black tie. The other had a yellow shirt and bright pink eyes and swirly pink hair. They both had yellow crowns, blue insect-like wings, and yellow starred wands in their hands. They were paying attention to Poof. The boy stopped trying to do homework and paid attention to the fairy baby too.

"So I was in class and a portal-like thing opened, then Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda came out of it as children.

"Wait, what? How did that happen? Why did that happen?" the human child questioned.

"Poof, are you okay? They didn't hurt you, right?" The pink haired fairy asked.

"Yes Mom, I'm fine. They didn't really do much. Anti-Cosmo was mostly just talking a lot."

"Maybe we should go ask them why they're here," the green haired fairy suggested.

"Good idea Cosmo," the boy said.

"Good idea?" the three fairies questioned.

"How is that a good idea?" the pink haired fairy asked.

"Maybe if we make Anti-Cosmo not so evil from when he was young, he wouldn't be a threat now!" the boy said.

"That's a great idea Timmy," the green haired fairy, Cosmo, said.

"That's a terrible idea Timmy!" the pink haired fairy said. "Messing with the past could lead to horrific side effects in present day."

"Don't worry so much Wanda," the boy, Timmy, said. "I wish the young Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were in my room!"

Poof and the pink haired fairy, or Wanda, exchanged worried glances as they razed their wand and rattle. Cosmo smiled excitedly as he razed his. All three glowed bright yellow and a pink cloud appeared. When it dematerialized not long after, two baby anti-fairies were coughing on the floor.

* * *

"Okay, so the school got out. Now we go demand to know where the time thing is," older Anti-Cosmo explained.

Older Anti-Wanda gave her husband a thumbs up and a smile. They both raised their black wands which then started glowing blue. They poofed into the principal's office where principal Elaine Meyers was sitting behind a desk. She smiled. "What graces us with your presents Anti-Cosmo? I don't think Foop is in trouble today."

"I demand to know where you keep a time-traveling device," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Yeah!" Anti-Wanda agreed.

"What do you mean?" Elaine asked.

"You know, the portal thing. Approximately the size of an 80-year-old anti-fairy. I remember hating it, so it was brightly colored," Anti-Cosmo said.

"The time teleporter? We haven't used that in centuries. I think Benes was the last one to actually think that was a good idea. It's probably in the supply closet," Elaine said.

"To the supply closet!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed and poofed them both out of the principal's office and in front of the supply closet.

With his wand Anti-Cosmo found the old time teleporter and poofed it in front of him and Anti-Wanda. "You know, adventures were more exciting as children. This was a bit anticlimactic," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Yeah," Anti-Wanda agreed, although she didn't know what anticlimactic ment.

"Well, we should send our young selfs home then," Anti-Cosmo said and raised his wand. Anti-Wanda did the same and they poofed to the castle with the time teleporter.

After Foop heard a poof behind him, he immediately got rid of the chair and comic. "Welcome back, did you find the time traveling device?" Foop asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Where are our young selfs?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Foop laughed nervously, since he wasn't supposed to take his eyes off them. He didn't expect his parents to be finished so quickly. "We're playing hide and seek. It was their idea," Foop lied.

"Hide and seek didn't exist when we were that young. What really happened?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Okay, so maybe I initiated the game, but they're somewhere inside the castle. I took their wands away," Foop said.

"It's not like they could go very far with them," Anti-Cosmo said.

"We should go find us," Anti-Wanda suggest.

"Foop, go find them. It's your fault that they're hiding anyway," Anti-Cosmo said.

Foop mumbled complaints, be he still started floating around the house to find his young parents

* * *

"What are they doing?" Timmy asked. He was watching the anti-children coughing on the floor from the fairy magic.

"I dunno," Cosmo said.

"Could it be our magic?" Wanda questioned. She vaguely remembered something about anti-children not liking fairy magic.

"Probably not. Foop seems fine with fairy magic," Poof said.

"That's because he was made from magic you dunce," Anti-Cosmo said, sounding annoyed.

"Well, he's definitely Anti-Cosmo," Wanda said.

"Am I definitely Anti-Wanda?" Anti-Wanda asked. Everyone ignored her.

"Wait, but he's short," Cosmo said "Anti-Cosmo's not short, I think."

"Also, where's his monocle? And teeth?" Timmy asked. "And why is Anti-Wanda so much bigger?"

"He's really young. Maybe he hasn't gotten teeth or a monocle yet," Poof said.

"And I'm about 80 years older than Cosmo you know," Wanda said.

"Yup, I've always been the young stupid one," Cosmo said.

Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Yeah, you're the young and 'stupid' one," he said using air quotes around the word stupid. Him and Anti-Wanda where floating close to the nightstand that used to have a fish tank on it. Water, sand, and a castle were all over the floor and the now empty fish tank was on Anti-Wanda's head.

Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, and Poof started laughing. Anti-Wanda started laughing too, but stopped to say "I don't get it."

Poof stopped laughing first. "Sorry, it just sounded like you were calling dad smart. That's just really funny."

"Kay then," Anti-Cosmo said and took the bowl off Anti-Wanda's head. "I assume that you are future Cosmo, Wanda, and their godchild, also Foop's opposite, so you should be tolerable, but why did you bring us here?"

"Yeah, we were in an exciting game of hide and look, or something. I was winning," Anti-Wanda said.

"Oh, yeah, we were going to make you a good person while you're young so you won't be evil when you're older," Timmy said.

"It's an amazing plan," Cosmo added.

Anti-Cosmo smiled evilly. "Indeed it is," He said.

* * *

Foop poofed into the living room where older Anti-Cosmo was drinking tea and older Anti-Wanda was poking the time teleporter (which was still off).

"Did you find young us yet?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Well, um, a-about that," Foop mumbled

"I presume that means you're a pathetic looker."

"Yeah."

"I'm help you look," Anti-Wanda said happily and poofed away.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "I hope you know you can't find people on their first time playing hide and seek. They're probably hiding together too," he said and poofed away to help his wife look for their past selves.

If they can't find them, I'm done for…" Foop said to himself and poofed away to look as well.

* * *

"Okay, so you see, earth belongs to humans, and humans are good, so don't try and take it over," Timmy said. He had badly drawn visual aids on a whiteboard behind him.

Young Anti-Wanda looked at him genuinely amazed. "Woah, I never knew that," she said.

"Oh boy, I can feel my tiny brain becoming more goodlyer as you speak. Please, do continue," young Anti-Cosmo said smiling.

"I don't know about this sport. I think Anti-Cosmo's planning something," Wanda said.

"Pft, silly Wanda. He's too young to plot evil," Cosmo said.

"Indeedliosis," Anti-Cosmo agreed.

"Indeedliosis is a word? I knew Anti-Blonda was lying!" Anti-Wanda said.

"Mom is right, Anti-Cosmo is acting awfully suspicious," Poof said.

"No, I guarantee you that I am becoming an astonishingly ethical anti-fairy," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled even wider.

"I see what you mean," Timmy said, "I wish Anti-Cosmo and Wanda are inside a butterfly net."

"Butterfly net?" Anti-Cosmo questioned.

"What's that, can I eat it?" Anti-Wanda asked.

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof poofed a butterfly net around them. Both Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda got disappointed.

"Who thought up this ingenious design? A pixie?" he asked sarcastically. He tried to lift the net, but it didn't work. "Huh? Is this fancy future stuff like the talking box?"

"Let me try," Anti-Wanda said. She tried to lift the net too with no success.

"So now what do we do?" Poof asked.

"Turning them good could probably still work," Timmy said.

"Or maybe we should just call regular Anti-Cosmo and Wanda and have them send their young selves back to the past. Timmy, time travel is very risky," Wanda said.

"No, we can turn good. Just give us highly powered anti-wands and we'll show you our hearts of pure goodness," Anti-Cosmo said still trying to lift the net.

"And also move this butter thing," Anti-Wanda added.

Timmy looked at the anti-children then back at his fairies. "You're right. We probably should call An-" Timmy started, but was cut off by a booming "TURNER!"

Both Anti-Fairies started screaming. "I'm so sorry pink hatted human, I'll never try and extort you again! Please, save us from Jorgen!" Anti-Cosmo pleaded

In a pink cloud, Jorgen von Strangle appeared before the six of them.

"Where are the pathetic anti-fairies, Turner?" he asked.

"Why do you want them?" Poof asked.

"I don't have to tell you! But anyway, I want them to imprisoned Anti-Cosmo when he's young so he can never take over Anti-Fairy World!" Gorgen explained.

"YES! I KNEW I TOOK OVER ANTI-FAIRY WORLD!" Anti-Cosmo rejoiced, but then quickly closed his mouth.

Jorgen looked at the anti-children. "And they're already contained for me," he said smiling. Jorgen grabbed the net containing the anti-fairies and poofed away laughing triumphantly.

* * *

"How could they just vanish like that? It's basically impossible!" Older Anti-Cosmo said.

"Maybe they got stolen," Older Anti-Wanda suggest.

"Only an idiot would mess with time like that," Anti-Cosmo said.

Suddenly, Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Foop appeared in Timmy room.

"Only an idiot, you say," Foop said.

"You have no room to talk, this is all your fault," Anti-Cosmo said.

"No, it's their fault for stealing you guys in the first place!" Foop said motioning to Timmy and his godparents.

"Yay, I was right! We were stolen" Anti-Wanda said.

"Why would they even want us?"

"Well, we were going to make you less evil," Timmy said.

"And how well did that work out?" Foop asked rhetorically.

"That's not how anti-fairies work. The fairy has to become more evil for us to become good, not the other way around," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Wait, really? Why?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"So where are the little terrors anyways?" Foop asked.

"Well, about that…" Timmy trailed off.

"Jorgen came and stole them," Cosmo said.

"Of course he did," Foop mumbled.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "I guess we're going to fairy world."

"Yay! Even more road trip!" Anti-Wanda said. All of the anti-fairies raised their wands and poofed to Fairy World.

"Should we follow them? It is somewhat our fault," Timmy asked.

"Well, it's mostly Anti-Cosmo and Wanda's fault for coming to the future as children, so they should be the ones to fix it," Wanda said.

"Plus, they're scary," Cosmo said.

"Well, I can't argue with that logic," Timmy said.

* * *

Jorgen grabbed the young anti-fairies by their school uniforms and threw them into a much smaller version of the original anti-fairy-zone. He poofed the butterfly net away.

"What is this?" young Anti-Wanda asked.

"It was made for current day Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda, but them as pathetic children is even better!" Jorgen said.

"What's a day? And a current? And pathetic? And -" Anti-Wanda started asking.

"No more questions!" Jorgen yelled. It scared Anti-Wanda into silence. "Now Binky, watch over the puny anti-fairies," He said and poofed away. The only fairy left in the room was short and had a purple color scheme. He's supposedly named Binky.

"Hey, you look familiar," Anti-Wanda said to Binky.

"Am I really the future leader of Anti-Fairy World? Of course I am, Why would Jorgen lie? When did I make Anti-Binky abdicate?" Younger Anti-Cosmo asked. He was starry eyed with excitement.

"Um, I don't know when it was, but I think you were four years old," Binky said.

"A year's a solar cycle, right?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Yeah."

Anti-Cosmo smiled wider. "Thanks only three solar cycles away! Two and nine tenths, to be exact! Did Anti-Binky cry when I overthrew him? I bet he did."

"I-I'm not sure if my opposite cried. We don't talk much."

"Did I lick the salty tears off of his face?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"You know I wasn't there, right."

"Was I there?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"I don't know," Binky said.

Older Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Foop poofed into the room. "We're here for our younger selves. Hand them over," older Anti-Cosmo said.

"JORGEN!" Binky yelled and poofed away. Both Jorgen and Binky poofed back into the room.

"Puny anti-fairy, do you honestly think you are going to beat the great and mighty Jorgen?" Jorgen asked.

"You can do it me! Devour his tears of defeat like we did with Anti-Binky!" younger Anti-Cosmo said.

"Who told him that I overthrew Anti-Binky? I specifically avoided that topic for a reason," older Anti-Cosmo said.

"Enough!" Jorgen yelled and pointed his massive wand at older Anti-Cosmo. "Be prepared to join your past selves in the supermax anti-fairy jail."

Anti-Cosmo twirled his black wand between his fingers. "Don't be so sure, my dear Jorgen," He said, smiling.

Jorgen blasted some magical energy at Anti-Cosmo, but the three anti-fairies dodged it. When the residual fairy dust disappeared, both Anti Binky and Jorgen were under a butterfly net.

"Well, that was a short battle," Binky said.

"Yeah, I wanted an epic fight scene!" Foop complained.

Foop, fairies are all idiots, but very powerful idiots. Work smart, and you won't have to work hard," older Anti-Cosmo said as he grabbed Jorgen's keys to unlock the anti-fairy prison.

"But I thought anti-fairies can't poof up the power stopping net things," older Anti-Wanda said.

"We can't, Jorgen left one on the floor and I just made it bigger to accommodate for his size," older Anti-Cosmo said and freed the young anti-fairies.

"I can't believe that I beat and overpowered Anti-Binky!" younger Anti-Cosmo said. "I'll never forget this day as long as I live!"

"Speaking of forgetting, aren't we supposed to erase their memories?" Foop asked.

"You're right, we should probably send them back to their time before another fairy tries kidnapping us," Older Anti-Cosmo said. The anti-fairies poofed back to Anti-Cosmo's castle.

Foop gave the past anti-fairies their rattles back. "You know, you could give us useful wands while we're here," Young Anti-Cosmo said.

"You'll get actual power eventually," Anti-Cosmo said and turned on the time teleporter.

Older Anti-Cosmo took his wand and put it in front of the past anti-fairies. His wand flashed black.

"Did that do the forgetty thing?" older Anti-Wanda asked.

The past anti-fairies stared blankly with their green and pink eyes at nothing. "Yep," He said, then he used magic to make the past anti-fairies fly through the time teleporter.

"Don't you think you should give an explanation? They are kind of zombified," Foop said.

"Good point," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed up an explanation note.

"Ooo, let me add something!" Anti-Wanda said and stole the note. She poofed some extra writing and handed it back to her husband. "It says hi!"

"Oh, that's great honey," Anti-Cosmo said. He poofed something else on the note and threw it through the teleporter.

* * *

"If they get me fired, I'm suing," Ms. Magister said. Suddenly, a second portal identical to the one in the middle of the time teleported. "Golly oh gee, I wonder who that could be," She said sarcastically.

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda game out of the portal, and they looked like they were in a trance.

'Can I go in the portal?' Duncan signed. 'It looks like fun.'

"You cannot go through the portal," Ms. Magister said.

"Duncan, you can be an idiot sometimes," Blaine mumbled.

A note came out of the portal, then the portal disappeared. Ms. Magister picked up the note.

'Young Anti-Wanda and I are fine, they'll just forget everything about this day.' the note said. Then there was a scribble and an arrow pointing at it saying 'Anti-Wanda says hi'.

"Well, at least one of them becomes literate," Ms. Magister said then threw the note away.

Maria poured water over the anti-fairies, putting them out of their trance.

"I'm not even going to question where you got that," Ms. Magister said.

"What happened?" Anti-Wanda asked, "Why is my mind blanker than usual?"

"Assuming that last time we couldn't remember anything, we almost went eternally crazy, I'm guessing it was something stupid," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Anti-Cosmo is correct," Maria said.

"And I bet you didn't even deliver your letters," Blaine said.

"Seems like something we would neglect doing," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Yup, now don't kill yourselves while I return this to the office," Ms. Magister said and poofed away.

 **A/N: I didn't know how to end this. And my lord was this long. In google docs, it was twelve pages long, the last chapter was only ten. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Review your thoughts on this chapter. The next one will probably be 'The Con Fairy'. And it will probably take longer to write. Also, time does pass between chapters, so that's why Anti-Cosmo is over 1 years old now but was under six months in the first. The amount of time passing varies though. Till next time!**


	5. Opposite Schnopposite

**Chapter 5: Opposite Schnopposite**

 **Summary: Schnozmo comes and tries to con Anti-Cosmo out of a wand, but then finds out Anti-Cosmo's magic is pathetic. Together they try to take Anti-Binky's wand, but it fails.**

"And that is how you murder a long-eared Earth creature," Anti-Cosmo said. He was holding a detached head of a stuffed bunny in one hand and the body in the other.

Anti-Wanda watched looking with intrigue. The young anti-fairies were floating in the school's playground. Nobody else was there being school ended a couple hours ago.

"Can I try?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"No, I ran out of fake earth creatures."

Anti-Blonda poofed next to them. "Okay, it's been exactly two twenty-fifths of a solar cycle, time to go home," she said.

"Can you poof me home too? I don't think I told Anti-Schnozmo I'd stay after school," Anti-Cosmo said

"Sucks to be you," Anti-Blonda said and poofed her and Anti-Wanda away.

"Great, now I have to fly all the way home," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

Above him, the clouds parted and the sun shone down as bright as it could. Bright, sunny weather was the equivalent of pouring rain to anti-fairies, so Anti-Cosmo was even less thrilled about the long walk ahead of him.

* * *

"You know, I would be home by now if it wasn't for Anti-Schnozmo," Anti-Cosmo complained to himself. He was almost out of the middle land, so he was close to Anti-Fairy World. The middle land is the cloud formations in the middle of Fairy World, Pixie World, and Anti-Fairy World. Fairy World claimed it first, so it's mostly bright and cheery, but all magical creatures are still welcome there.

"It's all his fault," Anti-Cosmo continued, "Ever since he and Anti-Blonda went on that weird mission without Anti-Wanda and me, Anti-Blonda has hated me! He probably told her that I'm a pathetic Anti-Fairy that doesn't deserve existence. He wouldn't even need much prompting to start blabbing about that because he's such a pushover."

The anti-fairy didn't know a fairy was listening in. The fairy had a black suit on and had slightly darker green eyes than Anti-Cosmo and green hair. He had a yellow crown and blue wings like most fairies, but unlike most, his nose was enormous. The fairy didn't care what Anti-Cosmo was talking about, he just thought that Anti-Cosmo was a crazy and gullible kid, and thus the perfect victim.

Anti-Cosmo crossed his arms and flew more angrily. "But despite being a pushover, he still won't give me his wand no matter how much I ask. I would make more use from that stupid starred thing than he ever could, but then he had to go rewire it so I couldn't even use it if I tried," Anti-Cosmo said. He would have said more, but the fairy flew in front of him.

"Why, hello there. My name is Schnozmo, and I need your help to save the world as we know it," the fairy, Schnozmo, said dramatically.

"But I hate the world, I don't want it to be saved," Anti-Cosmo said. He usually didn't talk to fairies, even when they initiate the conversation, but he had a feeling he might like the fairy, due to his recent complaining.

"Do you even hate Anti-Fairy World?" Schnozmo asked.

"I probably hate that one the most."

"Okay then...My name is Schnozmo, and I need your help to destroy every world, because I hate them too!"

"I've already tried multiple times, It's not a small feat. Just use some of your fancy fairy magic and do it yourself. I'd be a hindrance to your cause at best," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Ah-ha, but you see, I can't use my magic! I lost it while I was escaping for my life from some killer dinosaurs! You may have heard of the mighty earth smash that happened not too long ago. They say the dinosaurs died, but they didn't! Now the remaining dinosaurs are trying to destroy earth, and I tried to stop them so they took my wand. I need a fine wand like that dandy blue one you got there to help save the world!" Schnozmo said.

"I thought you were destroying the world," Anti-Cosmo said with a slight smile. He was sort of having fun messing with the fairy.

"Yeah, that's what I meant, the dinosaurs are actually saving the world, so I still need your wand."

"And the mighty earth smash was about 63 million solar cycles ago. Judging by your size, you weren't even alive then. And all the dinosaurs are undoubtedly dead."

"Are you going to give me your wand or not?" Schnozmo asked.

"Knock yourself out," Anti-Cosmo said and threw his wand at Schnozmo.

Schnozmo smiled. "Sucker," He mumbled then tried to poof away, but he only got about three feet away. "What the hell is this? I was going to earth!"

"You know that I'm too young to go to Earth even with a normal wand, right?"

"Yeah, but it's never this pathetic!" Schnozmo complained and poofed back to next to Anti-Cosmo.

Anti-Cosmo grabbed his wand back. "Yeah, you can thank your little brother for that."

"What does Cosmo have to do with anything? How do you even know Cosmo?" Schnozmo asked.

"Well, I see where the smarts went in the family," Anti-Cosmo mumbled and started floating home again.

"Wait a second, you can't just float away. I still need magic to sa- I mean destroy the world," Schnozmo said.

"You know, the opposite of a con man is someone who would fall for a con easily. Wanna steal my wuss of a brother's wand for me? It should have the amount of power as the one you lost, just it would be anti-magic. Are you okay with that?"

"Indeed, that sounds perfect."

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "Believe me, it is perfect."

* * *

Anti-Cosmo poofed into Anti-Schnozmo's room, and Anti-Schnozmo screamed. "Anti-Cosmo, how many times have I told you not to just barge in like that! Where have you been anyway?"

Anti-Cosmo was smiling mischievously. "Oh my _dear_ brother," He said, emphasizing 'dear', "I was out making a new friend."

"That's great!"

"It's a fairy."

"Less great."

"And guess which fairy it is," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled wider.

"Umm…" Anti-Schnozmo said, but before he could guess, the fairy in question burst in.

"Hello there, my name is- Yeesh, you're ugly. Just look at that nose," Schnozmo said. Anti-Schnozmo looked at him petrified.

"What!? When? Where? Why? You know he's my opposite right!"

Anti-Cosmo's smile faded and he rolled his eyes. "I may be the least intelligent thing in the universe, but I'm not an idiot. You know, this is exactly why I'm spiting you."

"What? You're spiting me! Why?"

"I just told you, dummy. Now, Schnozy, do what I brought you here for."

"Oh, yes, righty-o. You, small nose, I need your help. Your wand is necessary for the world to be intact," Schnozmo said.

"The world's in danger? Here, take it," Anti-Schnozmo said and handed Schnozmo his wand.

"Sweet," Schnozmo said.

"That's all I had to do? My lord, I really hate you right now," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

Schnozmo was poofing all around in dark blue clouds. "Feels good to be back," he said looking at his new anti-wand.

Anti-Cosmo floated next to Schnozmo. "Okay new big brother, want to harass other anti-fairies together?"

"Sure," Schnozmo said and they both poofed away together.

"I am so confused," Anti-Schnozmo said.

* * *

"So, you see, we go in here, then ambush Anti-Binky like this and steal his anti-wand, then go to earth and take it over!" Anti-Cosmo said, making an unintentionally squiggly arrow on an absolutely atrocious drawing of Anti-Binky's castle.

"Uh-hu. I see. Why don't I just poof us in there and you're small hands snatch the wand from Anti-whoever," Schnozmo suggested.

Anti-Cosmo laughed. "That would never work," He said.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that," Schnozmo said and poofed them into the main room of Anti-Binky's castle.

~0~

"So, I think I need a torture wall," Anti-Binky said in his deep voice. He didn't know about the anti-child and fairy behind his throne. Anti-Binky had a normal blue and black color scheme with red eyes and no hair. He had a really fancy black crown floating above his head and slightly larger bat-like wings too. "Not one of those pathetic torture walls with only a whip or something. No, I need twelve guillotines, all with fresh blood on them. And a mammoth. I could get some good screams with those."

"Yes Sir, I'll get right on it Sir," The other anti-fairy said with his weird accented voice. This one had a regular crown and wings, but his body was inordinately long and scrawny. It made his dark blue face look huge.

"Oh, and Anti-Jorgen, add a little fire. Fire always makes the torture thing seem more themed," Anti-Binky said

"Yes, Sir," the other anti-fairy, Anti-Jorgen, said and poofed away.

"Okay, now go steal the wand," Schnozmo said.

"Are you crazy? Anti-Binky is strong and powerful, we need a plan to take him down. I have a death wish, but it's not that big!" Anti-Cosmo complained in a whisper so the ruler of anti-fairies couldn't hear him.

"Don't be such a baby, you're at least forty, right?" Schnozmo asked.

"I'm one and a half!"

"Hey, so's my brother. He's the youngest fairy in existence, you know."

Anti-Cosmo was about to say something, but someone else beat him to it. "Well, well, well. Of all the things I expect to barge in here unannounced, a special needs two-solar-cycle-old and a large-nosed fairy were low on the list," Anti-Binky said.

"Hey there, my name's Schnozmo. I need your help to save and/or destroy the world. You see, I'm under the attack of zombies, and only your magic will stop them from doing the thing you hate most."

"You need to work on your conning, kid," Anti-Binky said and poofed the two into chains that connected them to a nearby wall

"It's a work in progress," Schnozmo said, "Pretty good for a hundred and seven solar cycle old, isn't it?"

Anti-Binky took Anti-Cosmo's and Schnozmo's (technically Anti-Schnozmo's) wands away and poofed them to a corner not too far away, but still not in arms distance. "I've seen some humans do a better job than you."

Schnozmo shrugged. "Still a work in progress."

"You already said that."

"Indeed I did."

"Okay then," Anti-Binky said and poofed away.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Schnozmo asked Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Cosmo was staring blankly ahead. "You okay kid?"

"I'm such an idiot," Anti-Cosmo mumbled barely audible, "Why did I ever want this? Anti-Binky is big and powerful and scary and we'll be imprisoned forever and… and…"

"Oddly enough, this is how most of my 'ignore the plan' plans work," Schnozmo said.

Anti-Cosmo ignored him.

"The one guy called the other Anti-Jorgen. Was he named after the fairy ruler or was it just a coincidence?"

Anti-Cosmo didn't care how Schnozmo never got told that anti-fairies are the opposites of fairies, he was too busy thinking about how they were never going to escape. "I wanna go home," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

"I wanna go to earth. There's a fairy godparent I have a bone to pick with."

Anti-Cosmo didn't answer, so Schnozmo changed the topic and kept asking questions that never got answered.

* * *

About half an hour later, Anti-Binky still never showed back up, which made Anti-Cosmo even more anxious.

"When's that one guy coming back anyway?" Schnozmo asked.

Anti-Cosmo didn't answer. A few seconds later, a dark blue poof appeared in front of them.

"Hey, friend! Is this really what you want to take over? It looks boring," Anti-Wanda said.

"Anti-Wanda!" Anti-Cosmo said and smiled, "How did you get here?"

Anti-Blonda and Anti-Schnozmo poofed next to Anti-Wanda. "I told you to stop poofing off like that!" Anti-Blonda scolded.

"But you said Anti-Binky wasn't here so it was safe," Anti-Wanda said.

"I was talking to bad role model #2 over here, not you," Anti-Blonda said, "Speaking of which, I brought you to your stupid brother, take your wand back and let's leave."

"The short blue guy put our wands over there before he left," Schnozmo said and pointed to where they were.

"I'll get em!" Anti-Wanda excitedly said and flew towards them.

"How did you know we'd be here?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"I know how much you want to take over fairy world, and since I don't want you to he'd be all for it and stupid about it," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"And I only showed up because Anti-Wanda wanted me too. Don't be under the impression that I like you," Anti-Blonda said.

"I didn't have that impression," Anti-Cosmo said.

Anti-Wanda floated next to Anti-Blonda. "I got the wands!"

Anti-Blonda took them from her twin and threw them at the corresponding male anti-fairies. "Kay, let's go," she said.

"But what about the chains? They're undoubtedly magic proof," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I can help with that. Back in the circus, I escaped locks all the time," Schnozmo said.

"You were in the circus?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"More importantly, why didn't you do that before?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Schnozmo shrugged. "Didn't think of it before," He said and unto ked his and Anti-Cosmo's cuffs.

"Now can we go?" Anti-Blonda asked impatiently.

"Can I hang out with Anti-Cosmo after we leave?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Nope," Anti-Blonda said and raised her wand. The other anti-fairies followed suit and they poofed out.

Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Schnozmo, and Schnozmo poofed to the Anti-Cosma's house while Anti-Wanda and Anti-Blonda went to their house.

"Wait, so you're name is Anti-Cosmo? Were you named after my brother?" Schnozmo asked.

"Um, do you want us to poof you home or something?" Anti-Schnozmo asked Schnozmo. He didn't want to explain anti-fairies to his opposite.

"Can you poof me to earth?" Schnozmo asked.

"No, my wand isn't good enough for that."

"Oh yeah. Send me home I guess. I live at-"

"I know where you live," Anti-Schnozmo said, cutting him off, and poofed Schnozmo away. "Wait, he doesn't know about anti-fairies, that sounded really creepy. Should I poof him back here? Would that be worse? Should I have explained our species?"

"Don't overthink it," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Why were you even hanging out with him anyway? Besides, um, 'spite'."

"Eh, don't worry about that. Just know that I hate Schnozmo now. Take that as a compliment," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed away.

"Okay then," He said in the empty room, then he poofed away to explain anti-fairies to Schnozmo.

 **A/N: I know I said that the next chapter would be 'The Con Fairy', and it is, but I changed the title. I was reading my story and thought, 'hey, this has barely anything to do with Schnozmo conning,' so I changed it. I hope you like this chapter, a nice and short little story. Anti-Binky will almost definitely keep popping up as an antagonist. Also, I don't know which story to write next. Any suggestions are welcome. I'd love it if you'd review. Until next time/**


	6. Anti-Cosmo Hates Snow

**Chapter 6: Anti-Cosmo Hates Snow**

 **Summary: Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda play in the snow. Does something exciting happen? I don't know, maybe.**

Anti-Binky and Anti-Jorgen poof back into Anti-Binky's castle. "So, that's why I chopped up those three kids and threw them into fire. But, while I was doing that, I couldn't help but think I forgot something," Anti-Binky said.

"Sir, um, why is there two pairs of chains on the wall?" Anti-Jorgen asked.

"Oh yea, that's what I forgot. A large nosed fairy and a special needs green eyed anti-baby broke in."

"Should I send the eyes to see if they're a threat?"

"Do that, especially keep an eye on the anti-kid, his green eyes disturb me."

"Yes sir," Anti-Jorgen said and poofed away to do as he was commanded.

* * *

"Heeeeeyy Bro, you know how last earth rotation I broke into Anti-Binky's castle to take it over, but I got trapped so you had to save me?" Anti-Cosmo asked his brother.

"Um," Anti-Schnozmo started, but Anti-Cosmo wasn't looking for an answer.

"Well, I only failed because of ginormo nose, so Mr. Puny Nose should do wonders for my cause!"

"Don't take over Anti-Fairy World, Anti-Cosmo. I'm not helping you if you try," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"If I can't take over a world, then what am I supposed to do?"

"Play outside. The weather's lovely."

"No it's not. It's snowing. Snow is almost as worse as sunshine with its bright whiteness."

"Oh, it's snowing? Here," Anti-Schnozmo poofed super thick clothing on Anti-Cosmo. "Knock yourself out."

"I don't want to play in the snow!" Anti-Cosmo protested.

Anti-Wanda poofed into the room with thick clothes on similar to Anti-Cosmo's. "Anti-Blonda poofed me over here so we can play in the snow. Isn't that great!"

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "That is great. Let's go," he said and raised his wand. Anti-Wanda followed suit and they poofed away.

"Why can't he listen to me like that," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled to himself.

* * *

"I made a snowhuman!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed. She pointed to a pile of snow that in no way resembles a human.

"It's quite accurate," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I don't know what that means, but thank you," Anti-Wanda said. "So, what do you wanna do now?"

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "I never knew what the appeal of snow is so I never bothered to learn what activities take place in it," he said. Anti-Wanda stared at him blankly. "I don't know any snow games," he rephrased.

"Oh. Do you know anybody who does know snow games?"

"No. I basically only have one friend and an annoying brother that doesn't know anything."

Anti-Wanda smiled. "I just thought of something great! If you're brother doesn't know any snow games, maybe your one friend will!"

"Do you know any snow games?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"No, that's why we need to ask your friend."

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "On second thought, my friend doesn't know anything either."

"Aw, that's a shame. Wanna make more snowhumans?"

"Okay," Anti-Cosmo said. The two of them started building piles of snow that barely resembled anything. On the third pile of snow that Anti-Cosmo made, he turned to Anti-Wanda. "Hey look, I made Anti-Binky."

"That looks cool," Anti-Wanda said.

"Can I borrow your wand? I'll make it look cooler."

"Sure," Anti-Wanda said happily and handed Anti-Cosmo her sky blue wand. The younger anti-fairy pointed both wands at the snow Anti-Binky and made it explode. Anti-Wanda started laughing. "We should kill all our snowhumans!" She suggested after she stopped laughing.

Anti-Cosmo gave Anti-Wanda her wand back. "Whoever kills more faster wins, but we first have to build a bunch, kay?"

"Kay," Anti-Wanda said and started making snow creatures as fast as she could.

Unnoticed by the anti-children was a black bat flying above them, watching their every move with its rainbow tinted blue eyes.

* * *

"Sure," a muffled and far away sounding Anti-Wanda said. Anti-Binky watched from a handheld mirror as she handed her wand to Anti-Cosmo and he blew up the snow Anti-Binky. The image disappears and Anti-Binky looked at Anti-Jorgen.

"The green-eyed child seems to not like you," Anti-Jorgen said.

Anti-Binky glared at him. "I'm not blind you idiot."

"You're right, sir. Sorry, sir."

"And also, why should I care whether he likes me or not, he needed two wands just to blow up stupid snow, that doesn't seem like much of a threat to me."

"I did some research and the green-eyed one is Anti-Cosmo, last anti-fairy that will ever be born."

Anti-Binky looked slight more interested. "So the opposite of the fairy that who was so stupid he blew up Fairy World?"

"Yes. Anti-Cosmo is still pathetically puny so he has child stupidity, but his opposite has pure stupidity in abundance. It won't be long before-"

"Before the little idiot becomes smart," Anti-Binky finished.

"Yes sir."

"Well, it's simple, scare the kid into never wanting to see me."

"But how sir?" Anti-Jorgen asked.

"Just traumatize that weird eyed freak. You have the second most powerful wand in Anti-Fairy Would, put it to good use!"

"Of course sir, sorry I asked."

"You should be sorry. Now go!" Anti-Binky yelled.

Anti-Jorgen poofed away in fear.

* * *

"I WIN! I WIN!" Anti-Wanda rejoiced.

"But I murdered forty-three snowhumans and you only killed seven," Anti-Cosmo said.

"So I win."

Anti-Cosmo was contemplating whether or not he wanted to explain to Anti-Wanda how he was the winner when Anti-Jorgen poofed behind them unnoticed. They aren't very observant anti-kids. Anti-Jorgen put a magical floating crown over one of the heads of an undestroyed pile of snow that the anti-children meant to make into an anti-fairy. That made it turn into the actual shape of a completely average anti-child and it came to life. Anti-Jorgen whispered something in the pointy white ear of the snow creature then poofed away.

"So since you 'won', do you want to do something else?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"But we don't know any other snow games. Oh, I know, we could ask that snowfairy," Anti-Wanda suggested.

"Anti-Wanda, snow can't talk," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Actually, I'm a snow anti-fairy. See, my wings are bat-like," the snow anti-fairy corrected.

Anti-Cosmo turned around and looked at the snow anti-fairy. "Why is your crown dark blue and the rest of you white?" he asked.

The snow creature frowned "Why are your eyes green?" It asked as if it was a great comeback.

"I have a hypothesis that it's because my opposite was deemed the last fairy to be procreated before I was born," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I wasn't looking for a real answer."

"Well, I was."

"My eyes are pink and mommy says that's because she got bit by a pink three days before I was born," Anti-Wanda said.

The snow anti-child looked at her in confusion, but then shook it off. "So, I heard that you guys don't know any fun things to do in the snow. Well, I know a bunch of activities, being a snowman and all. You should follow me into that castle over there," he said. He lifted his hand and a castle was built out of snow. It was identical to Anti-Binky's castle, except white instead of black.

"Snow castle games? Sounds good," Anti-Wanda said and started floating to the newly made castle.

"That looks like a terrible castle," Anti-Cosmo mumbled as he followed Anti-Wanda.

The snow anti-child rolled his eyes, then he saw a bat with his peripheral vision. They locked eyes and the snow child gave the winged animal a smile and thumbs up.

The bat just stared at the snow child unblinkingly, which made him visibly uncomfortable, so the snow creature morphed into the ground. The blue crown floated above the floor for a second before it went above the castle.

Inside, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were looking around the castle.

"It's so white," Anti-Wanda said.

"How observant," Anti-Cosmo said. He knew Anti-Wanda would take that as a compliment. "Where's that snow guy anyway?"

"Hmm. Maybe he -" Anti-Wanda started, but a giant wall of snow and ice formed between the two Anti-Children.

"Anti-Wanda?" Anti-Cosmo questioned. He looked at the wall and kicked it. "Huh. It was a trap. I blame Anti-Schnozmo for this."

A deep voice laughed. "You see, young child, this is what happens when you mess with me," the deep voice said. Form one of the snow walls, the dark blue crown came out and under it, a snow Anti-Binky was made.

"I didn't do anything to you snow creature. And why'd you change your vocal cords?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Okay, first of all, you questioned my design and called my castle terrible, so you did scar me emotionally, and second, don't I look and sound like someone who you did mess with?" the snow Anti-Binky asked.

"You look like a sickeningly bright white ball with a blue crown, but I guess you sound like Anti-Binky."

"Well, I look like him too. Now it's your time to pay the price for breaking into his mighty castle!"

Anti-Cosmo looked like he just realized something. "This is a snow copy of Anti-Binky's castle, isn't it? If that's true, that'll be cool."

The snow Anti-Binky looked offended. "You called my castle stupid and you didn't even know what it looked like?" he said, but his voice was the high pitched one that was used for the snow anti-child.

"Hey, um, snow child, it would be great if you stay focused," Anti-Jorgen's voice said. It was coming through the crown.

"Right," the snow creature said. He made his voice sound like Anti-Binky's again. "You will never attack Anti-Binky again, or you will get a rath much worse than this!"

"Oh, what are you gonna do? Fluff me to death?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Take me seriously!" Snow Anti-Binky growled. He lifted his arm and Anti-Cosmo got surrounded in snow.

"Wow, I'm threatened now," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Shut up!" the snow creature yelled and magically forced snow into Anti-Cosmo's mouth.

Anti-Cosmo spits out the snow. "Hey, this snow isn't magical," he said.

"I said shut up!" the snow creature yelled again and put more snow into Anti-Cosmo's mouth. "Now, endure the might torture of Anti-Binky!" the snow creature exclaimed. He forced a pile of snow into a stream and shot it at Anti-Cosmo. Right before it hit, Anti-Cosmo poofed out of the snow.

"Wait, why didn't you do that before? Nevermind," the snow creature mumbled. It shot snow at Anti-Cosmo's hand and took his raddle away from him and moved it into its own snowy hand. "Let's see you do something without your magic-ex-machina."

"Oh shoot, you foiled me. How will I ever go on now that you have taken my only source of worth?" Anti-Cosmo asked. He floated down so his knees were on the ground.

"Is that sarcasm?" the snow Anti-Binky asked.

"What's sarcasm?" Anti-Cosmo asked in a very innocent voice.

"Oh, it's like saying something, but meaning the opposite."

"Why would I use sarcasm? That sounds mean," Anti-Cosmo asked still innocently. He put this weird looking snow thing to the side and started making a snowball.

"You are mean. And you didn't like me even before I trapped you."

"I hate snow, so I, therefore, would have to hate you. Also, I already have one easily distracted friend, I don't need two."

"I'm not easily distractible, you're easily distractible. And if you hate snow then why are you making a snowball?"

"You mean this? It's for this," Anti-Cosmo said. He threw it at the blue crown, but it missed by a long shot. Anti-Cosmo looked panicked "Ah, wait! That wasn't supposed to miss! Can I try again?"

"No!" the snow Anti-Binky yelled. "You didn't even make a good snowball. It was all lumpy and terrible. You barely deserve to be pelted with my perfect spheres of snow," the snow Anti-Binky complained. He made dozens of perfectly circular balls of snow within seconds with his magical snow powers. He started using magic to fling all the balls at Anti-Cosmo. The non-snow anti-toddler started flying around as fast as he could, but the snow creature had too many that flew around too fast that he wasn't very good at dodging it at all.

The snow creature laughed maniacally as he pelted Anti-Cosmo with a plethora of snowballs. Eventually, snow Anti-Binky stopped making and throwing snowballs. Anti-Cosmo was basically seeing stars at that point, so he was happy that frozen water stopped attacking him, but he was also smart enough to know that the snow creature probably wasn't completely done yet.

"Now, do you see what happens when you mess with me?" the snow creature asked triumphantly.

"Anti-Binky. The point was to show what happens when he messes with the great and powerful Anti-Binky," Anti-Jorgen's voice said as it came through the crown.

"Shut up! You're ruining my moment!" the snow Anti-Binky growled.

"Sorry, sir," Anti-Jorgen said and stopped the crown transmission.

The snow creature sighed. "As I was saying, this is what happens when you mess with _ME_! Now, before I leave your weird green eyed self to live in misery because you got beat by water, I shall make this even more humiliating by finishing you off with your own greatest weapon!" The snow creature laughed evilly as it grabbed Anti-Cosmo's wand out of the snow and pointed it at its original owner. "Goodbye, you pesk," he said under his breath. The snow Anti-Binky pointed the wand right at Anti-Cosmo's face, but the wand turned a sickly turquoise and queued over. "What!? How is that possible? Wands are the only thing that gives an Anti-Fairies life worth! You even said so yourself!"

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "My wand's pathetic, besides, no amount of power would ever give my life worth, but," Anti-Cosmo said and kicked his wand out of the snow hand. It hit the dark blue crown, causing it fly with the crown to the other side of the room. The snow creature melted into the snow below as Anti-Cosmo flew over and grabbed his wand and the crown. "Some actual good magic could be useful to get rid of the things I hate," Anti-Cosmo continued.

The snow creature formed into a much weaker looking form of his original average anti-child form, minus the crown, and glared at Anti-Cosmo. "What are you going to do?" he asked weakly in his original voice.

Anti-Cosmo didn't respond. Instead, he grabbed the weirdly shaped snow sculpture that he made before the snowball earlier off of the ground. When he put the dark blue crown over it, its shape got turned into the typical starred wand. Anti-Cosmo put the snow wand through the open middle of the crown, which turned the snow into solid ice. "And do you know what I hate?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Your opposite?" the snow anti-child guessed, although he was pretty sure that's not where Anti-Cosmo was going.

"I really hate snow," Anti-Cosmo said in a deeper voice than usual. He lifted the ice wand and its starred end started glowing a deep black. "Goodbye, you pesk," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled. The snow child screamed as there was a large black flash.

"Hey, where'd the snow go?" Anti-Wanda asked. All of the snow that was previously there was gone, including Anti-Cosmo's ice wand and the snow castle.

Anti-Cosmo was lying on the dark grayish blue clouds that made the floor of Anti-Fairy World while staring blankly at the blood red sky. "The snow's gone? That's nice," he muttered barely audibly.

"Are you okay?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"I'm dying."

Anti-Wanda laughed slightly. "Oh Anti-Cosmo, you're so silly. Yes, the castle snow games were terrible, but they weren't that bad."

"I hate snow."

Then, Anti-Schnozmo poofed next to Anti-Wanda. "What the heck did you do? How'd you get rid of the snow? Did you get rid of the snow?" Anti-Schnozmo asked his brother.

Anti-Cosmo responded in random noises that didn't sound anything like words.

"Anti-Cosmo's dying," Anti-Wanda said.

"He'll get over it," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Cool. Will he still come to school next earth rotation?"

"Probably," Anti-Schnozmo said. "You live at the dark purple house next to Anti-Sahar's, right?"

"Yup, I think so. Wait, do I? Which color is purple?"

"The answer is yes, by the way, and I don't really know how to describe purple. So, anyway, I'm going to take Anti-Cosmo back home, do you want me to poof you to your house or something?"

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said happily.

"Okay then," Anti-Schnozmo said and poofed all three of them away.

* * *

Anti-Binky watched the whole this from the mirror. "What the hell kind of attack was living snow? That's not traumatizing! It's the ugliest thing to look at, but not traumatizing!" the anti-fairy ruler complained.

"Naturally, sorry sir, I'll do better next time sir," Anti-Jorgen said terrified.

"There won't be a next time for you," Anti-BInky said bitterly, which terrified Anti-Jorgen even more. "This green-eyed kid is smarter than I expected, and he'll only get smarter, but that's nothing compared to the sheer power he possesses! At age three I could barely poof away a fly, but this kid with an actually useful wand somehow beat mother nature all throughout Anti-Fairy World! This isn't just a scare him away plan anymore, we need to send him somewhere he'll never return from."

"H-how will you do that, sir?" Anti-Jorgen asked hesitantly.

Anti-Binky smiled evilly. "The special needs class is in room 720, isn't it?"

Anti-Jorgen nodded.

* * *

"Hey Class," Ms. Magister said with much more enthusiasm than usual, which wasn't a high bar to pass. The words even appeared over her head in a brighter and prettier font. "Because some bigwig of one of the main lands said so, we're going on a last minute field trip today. Isn't that great?" The class stared at her in silence. "Pretend like you're excited," She commanded in her usual tone of voice.

"How can we be excited when we don't even know where we're going?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"We're going to the Mid Hole, now look happy about it."

Blaine looked confused. "The Mid Hole? What's that?"

 **To be continued…**

 **A/N: How do you like the new picture? It'll probably change back next time I update. And while you're reviewing about the picture, how did you like the story? The next one won't be a part two exactly, more of a different story that has nothing to do with snow, but it happens right where this one leaves off. Also, thank you for the suggestions! I used FountainPenguin's holiday-themed idea and Jet Engine's want for more Anti-Binky to come up with the basics of this story. Also, I'm going to do a thing on Cosmo's fly dad later, but he won't be a fly. On an unrelated note, I was going to title this a snow pun, like Anti-Cosnow or something, but that was just too painful. Till next time.** _ **HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**_


	7. To Earth and Back part 1

**Chapter 7: To Earth and Back Part 1**

 **Summary: Anti-Binky sends Anti-Cosmo, and by extension Anti-Wanda, to Earth for them to never return. They have to work with a miserable child and her fairy godparent to get back to their home.**

"The Mid Hole? What's that?" Blaine asked.

"It's a gap in the middle of the middle lands, that's why it was called the Mid Hole. It's how fairies, and anti-fairies on Friday the thirteenth, go to earth when they're magic is too weak to get them down. There's not really a way how to come back up without magic, but it's much easier to poof to the Mid Hole and fly to Anti-Fairy World than it is to just poof to Anti-Fairy World. It's starting to be used less because a magical rainbow bridge thing is being made in Fairy World," Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Thank you exposition spewer," Ms. Magister said.

"You're not welcome."

Ms. Magister rolled her eyes. Anti-Wanda gasped. "Oh! I get it now! It sounds like middle, but it's the Mid Hole!" She started laughing. "That's funny."

That's when an anti-fairy and Pixie poofed into the room in a pixely gray cloud. The Pixie looked like basically every other pixie. The anti-fairy was decently average looking too. He had the normal red eyes, black wings, black crown, and blue skin. His black hair had a big curve in the front, but it didn't swirl around like Anti-Wanda's. What was most interesting about him was his outfit. It was mostly different shades of dark blue, but he had black broken hearts instead of buttons on his shirt.

"Why's there an anti-fairy with the pixie?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"It's because your ruler, Anti-Binky himself, really wanted to send this class on an all expenses paid trip to the Mid Hole, so I'm his representative to make sure everything goes smoothly," The anti-fairy explained. His voice was somewhat deep and sounded very manly. He looked at Ms. Magister. "Also, I won't be judging you on your teaching skills in any way."

"So you can't even give me a raise?" Ms. Magister asked.

"No."

"Kay. Kids, forget what I said, don't act excited in any way. The Mid Hole is the most boring thing ever," Ms. Magister said. The font above her head went back to how it normally is.

"It has a good view of Earth though. Quality stuff. Well worth the trip, trust me," The anti-fairy said.

All the kids looked at the anti-fairy in silence. "Are you ready to go on the field trip?" The pixie asked in a monotone voice, breaking the silence.

"Yes," the anti-fairy immediately. Then Anti-Wanda, Anti-Cosmo, and Ms. Magister answered all at the same time with "Yup", "Sure", and "Whatever."

Wordlessly, the pixie raised it's gray circled wand and the seven other magical creatures to the center of the middle lands. "Now children, go stare at the Earth. There'll be a test afterward, so go observe as much as your little minds can handle." the anti-fairy said.

"Okey-dokey!" Anti-Wanda said and floated over to the hole, then went to the floor to get a better view. Anti-Cosmo wasn't far behind his friend and he did the same thing. Ms. Magister signed a simplified version of what the anti-fairy said, and Dillan nodded and he and his brother walked to the part of the hole opposite to Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda. Anti-Cosmo found it kind of weird that Blaine was looking down the hole as if he could see Earth, but then he remembered he didn't care and stared down at Earth again to get as much as he could out of it. He was really good at tests for some reason, so he wanted to ace the test on the Earth too.

"Hey, um, yellow elf. Go look down the hole," The anti-fairy said.

"Does Maria want to look at Earth? No, she does not," Maria said. She was reaching for Ms. Magister's wand. The fairy gave it to her and looked at the anti-fairy.

"Don't worry about her, she wouldn't enjoy it anyways," Ms. Magister said. "Speaking of enjoyment, you're Anti-Cupid, aren't you? You hate children, so why are you chaperoning a class for Anti-Binky? That's not even a protocol."

"I can ask you the same about you, you know," Anti-Cupid said. "You have an opposite that keeps getting happier and happier. It's actually kind of sickening. So why are you still teaching?" As Anti-Cupid talked, his raised his wand behind his back and it started to glow.

"The pay is really great, especially because it's a special needs class. It's almost as good as a fairy god parent's, but instead of short humans it's short magical creatures."

"Un-hu. I see," Anti-Cupid said the clouds under Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda's feet suddenly disappeared. The anti-children let out a startled scream as they fell slightly, but then they started floating again. Dillan and Blaine took a large step away from the hole.

"That was weird," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

"Hey Anti-Cosmo, why'd the ground do that? Do you think it didn't know we can fly?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Clouds can't think. The most likely option would probably be sabotage against us, but nobody is stupid enough to forget that we can fly. If it really was sabotage, they probably should have propelled us downward because we can only fly under a limited amount of force," Anti-Coamo said.

Ms. Magister sighed. "For probably the smartest kid in class, he can really be stupid sometimes," She muttered under her breath then glared at Anti-Cupid. "Then again, maybe it's normal for anti-fairies to be idiots."

"Shut up," Anti-Cupid growled, "I'm just under orders. And I can fully well get you fired, or worse, so don't interfere." He wasn't hiding his wand behind his back anymore, he was just holding it normally, and it glowed dark blue. Some surrounding pink clouds formed a giant hand. It grabbed Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda and though them through the hole.

"Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it?" Ms. Magister mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Remember, if anybody asks it was a freak accident where the clouds disappeared and they fell down. There's nothing that you could have done, so you just made sure that the non-flying ones didn't fall down because they are very mortal and very, very fragile," Anti-Cupid threatened.

Ms. Magister looked at the three remaining kids, who were all looking at her. "Well, would ya look at the time. And to think we still have a test to do," She said and took her wand back from Maria. "And since there are no anti-fairies, we don't even need a pixie." She said and they all poofed away in a light pink cloud. Anti-Cupid poofed away not long after.

* * *

Anti-Cupid poofed into Anti-Binky's castle He was in a room with Anti-Binky sitting on a thrown that Anti-Jorgen was standing next too.

"It's been taken care of, my lord. The green-eyed freak and his accomplice are successfully and inconspicuously banished to Earth. Now, my lord, for your end of the bargain," Anti-Cupid said. He was twirling his wand between his fingers.

Anti-Binky and Anti-Jorgen exchanged looks, and Anti-Binky nodded. Anti-Jorgen looked slightly more nervous and then threw an arrow in Anti-Cupid's direction. The arrow had a white shaft, black spiky fletchings, and a dark green, heart-shaped head. Anti-Cupid tried to catch it but didn't. He quickly grabbed it off the floor. "Thank you, my lord," he said and poofed away.

"Sir, I have no doubt that your choice is a good one, but what was the point of working with Anti-Cupid? He hates everything, including you, and since he's fully matured he's arguably more threatening than Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Jorgen said.

"The Anti-God is an idiot that can't shoot for that immortal life of his. Who cares if he hates me, he hates other things more, and if anyone finds out about the green-eyed kid's banishment, I could just put all the blame on Anti-Cupid and nobody will question it because everybody hates him as much as he hates everybody."

"I see. I'm sorry I questioned you, sir."

"Now you know, never question me again."

"Yes, sir. Of course."

* * *

Anti-Cosmo was screaming as he and Anti-Wanda plummeted to earth.

"So is this that sabo- whatsit thing you were talking about?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"We're going to be stuck on earth forever!"

"So?" Anti-Wanda asked

"We can't get good magic on Earth! If anything, our magic would be worse since we're so far from the big anti-wand!" Anti-Cosmo complained.

"Oh, okay. Then maybe we could-" Anti-Wanda started, but she was cut off by the two of them hitting some water. They made a splash so large that it drained the lake they landed in. "Hey, that was fun, we should do it again." Anti-Wanda happily said.

"Great, and now we're going to attract the attention of humans, and they won't be able to see us so the magic-truthers would start hunting us down, and we'll be imprisoned forever once one of them actually succeeds, and we'll be test subjects for the rest of our immortal lives, and, and" Anti-Cosmo started saying, getting more and more freaked out as he talked about it.

"I don't think that'll happen. Look, the humans don't even care," Anti-Wanda said.

"Wait, what! There's a human?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Uh-hu. Right there," Anti-Wanda said and pointed to this boy that was standing at the used to be shore of the lake with his white hazmat suit completely soaked. The only thing you could see through the suit was some of his incredibly pale skin and blue eyes. He was also really short.

"He's looking straight at us, he can probably hear us! Why did the fairies make us invisible to humans but didn't make us unhearable by them?" Anti-Cosmo complained.

"Hey, Mr. Cosma, what happened to the lake? Am I hallucinating? Am I dying? I don't want to die, I don't know how to deal with dying," the little boy said anxiously. His voice was muffled through the hazmat suit.

A green squirrel with reading classes ran next to the boy. "No, it's anti-fairies." the squirrel said.

"Wow! A talking squirrel!" Anti-Wanda rejoiced and flew over to the green squirrel.

"Anti-Wanda, don't get so close to it! It's probably a fairy, and fairies don't like us!" Anti-Cosmo said and flew after his friend.

"But it's a squirrel. Fairies aren't squirrels, Anti-Cosmo, they're like us but brighter," Anti-Wanda said.

"They can shapeshift. If we weren't pathetic, we could shapeshift too."

"Oh," Anti-Wanda said.

"Anti-Cosmo? Like, the opposite of Cosmo Cosma?" The squirrel asked.

"No," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Wait, you're not? Then why's your last name Anti-Cosma?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Would I regret wishing to be able to see them?" the boy in the suit asked.

"Yeah, probably," the squirrel said.

"Okay then, I guess I wish that they were far far away from me. Like with the stars," The boy said.

"Wait, you don't want to do that!" Anti-Cosmo said. "You should wish us to Anti-Fairy world."

"What's that?" The boy asked.

"The worst place in the universe," Anti-Cosmo answered.

"Oh. I guess I wish they were in anti-fairy world."

The green squirrel made a yellow-starred wand appear in his hand. It glowed a brighter yellow, but then turned brown and flopped over.

"What happened to your wand? Is your magic bad? Will I lose all my wishes? I don't know how to deal with losing all my wishes," the boy said.

"No, it just does that when I try and make a wish that's against da rules or something that requires too much magic," the squirrel explained.

"So which one was it Mr. Cosma?"

"It's against da rules to poof around banished magical creatures."

"What's banished?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Only my son's opposite is banished, so you're not. Charles, do you want me to poof one to Anti-Fairy World?" The squirrel asked.

"Um, okay. I guess one of anything is easier to deal with than two," the boy said.

"But I don't want to leave Anti-Cos-" Anti-Wanda started.

"Yes she does. Her address is 1561 anti-cloudline st." Anti-Cosmo interrupted.  
The green squirrel raised it's wand again and poofed Anti-Wanda away. "Since I can't send you anywhere, have fun being banished I guess. And if you ever see Schnozmo, tell him I'm still a fly and he shouldn't look for me," the green squirrel said. "And by the way, Charles, school's going to start soon."

"Oh no! I can't be late again! I don't know how to deal with the teacher yelling at me! I wish I was at school!" the boy panicked. The squirrel poofed himself and the boy away.

"No, don't go yet! I need magic to get back to Anti-Fairy World!" Anti-Cosmo said, but nobody was around to hear him. He sighed. "I guess I have to find another god kid or I'll be attacked and dissected by magic truthers." Anti-Cosmo started flying aimlessly around.

* * *

Anti-Schnozmo poofed into room 720. "Hey, um, did Anti-Cosmo get detention again?" he asked Ms. Magister. The leprechaun twins were already picked up, so the only student there was Maria.

"Anti-Cosmo fall down," Maria said as she was organizing the shelves of toys and books.

"How did that lead to detention?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"He's not in detention, he fell to Earth," Ms. Magister said. She was trying to help Maria organize, but she kept pushing her hands away.

"What? Why did... How did… Where'd he land?"

"I didn't look," Ms. Magister said.

"Why not?"

"Well, giant hands don't just form in clouds and throw a child to Earth for no reason, now do they?"

"Yeah, I guess you have a point," Anti-Schnozmo said. "There's no reason for both of us to be stuck on the rock. I don't want to upset whoever sent him to Earth. It was probably Anti-Binky anyway and only an idiot would ever challenge him, right. Well, it's a good thing Anti-Cosmo is never going to be seen again. Good riddance I say. I shan't miss him at all." Anti-Schnozmo laughed nervously. "Yep. Not at all. An only child is the way to go. Maybe I'm the one who sent him to Earth just to be rid of him. Who knows? You know what I'm saying?"

"I honestly have no clue what you're trying to say," Ms. Magister said.

"Well, you know with Anti-Cosmo getting into trouble so much lately, this was bound to happen. It's the third time in a row, so I've realized there's the point of being attached, so I'll never get attached in the first place. These last one and a half solar cycles never happened," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"You're the weirdest kid I've met in a while, and that's not a good thing," Ms. Magister said.

"Righty-o. I'll leave now," Anti-Schnozmo lifted his wand, but Anti-Blonda poofed next to him and took it before he could poof away.

"You're not going anywhere until I know where Anti-Wanda is," She said.

"Just because someone I may or may not know is your sisters best friend doesn't mean I know where she is all the time. I need that," Anti-Schnozmo said and tried to get his wand back.

"Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo are not best friends. I refuse to let my sisters be best friends with a terrible role model."

"Who's this Anti-Cosmo you speak of? I'm a completely happy only child. Being a singleton is the way to go!"

Anti-Blonda looked at Anti-Schnozmo in confusion, then looked at Ms. Magister. "He doesn't take news very well, does he?" Ms. Magister asked rhetorically.

"News? What news?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Anti-Binky sent Anti-Cosmo to Earth never to be seen again, and that's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Was Anti-Wanda with him?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't paying attention," Ms. Magister lied.

"You're a teacher, isn't it your job to pay attention?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Maria, you need to pay attention," Maria said. "Anti-Cupid make the magic and Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda through mid-hole down to Great Britain, Europe, Earth, Milky Way."

"Anti-Cupid did it?" Anti-Schnozmo questioned. "Well, I guess anti-gods can banish people."

Anti-Blonda glared at Anti-Schnozmo. "You're stupid brother put my precious sister's life in danger for the second time in a row!"

"Yesterday your sister wasn't in danger, the snow monster completely ignored her."

"Shut up! Anti-Wanda could be gone forever and it's your fault!" Anti-Blonda complained.

"H-how is it my-" Anti-Schnozmo started to ask, but a note poofed in front of Anti-Blonda, which she grabbed and started to read it.

"How is she home? She wasn't with the bad influence?" Anti-Blond questioned as she finished reading the note. She poofed away, leaving Anti-Schnozmo's wand behind.

He grabbed his wand off the floor. "So, you say Anti-Cupid is the one who put Anti-Cosmo on Earth?"

"No, It's unknown who did or why. Maria is crazy, she just makes stuff up. Watch this, hey Maria, are you a lizard? Yes or no?" Ms. Magister asked.

"Yes," Maria said immediately.

"See, crazy. I can safely say that she's not a lizard."

Anti-Schnozmo wasn't listening to Ms. Magister. "Well, Anti-Cupid is a lot less incredibly scary compared to Anti-Binky. It's worth a try if anything," he said and poofed away.

Ms. Magister sighed. "We weren't supposed to tell anyone, you know." she mumbled

"Maria, you need to pay attention. Maria, use your words," Maria said.

"If you really did pay attention, do you know what mortal means? Or who in this room might be mortal?"

Maria didn't answer, she was busy putting books in alphabetical order.

* * *

"Excuse me sir, where is the nearest school of miserable mini humans?" Anti-Cosmo asked, making his voice as deep as he could. He was also moving the mouth of an unconscious adult to match his mouth movements.

"Um, the school is that way," another adult said and pointed in a direction.

"Indubitably," Anti-Cosmo said in his deep voice and moved the adult's mouth, then flew away in the direction the second adult pointed to.

"Alright then," the second adult said and took a step away from the unconscious one.

It didn't take Anti-Cosmo long to find the school and he poofed into it. He started floating around classes looking for something that could be a fairy until he eventually found the same hazmat suit kid from the lake. 'Wow, what a coincidence,' Anti-Cosmo thought. He was going to float over to the kid, but the door behind him opened.

"Oops. Wrong room," The green semi-long haired person who opened the door said. He had reading glasses over his green eyes. He grabbed Anti-Cosmo's hand and pulled him into the hallway and closed the door.

"Hey there anti-father," Anti-Cosmo said smiling.

"I already told you I can't poof you anywhere. My god kid is getting kind of close to telling everyone about me, and you won't be any help to that, so could you do me a favor and leave us alone?" The man asked.

"Well, you see you can only not transport banished magical creatures, but you can do other magical acts on them, such as turning them human and transporting them in that state."

"But humans can't stand on clouds," the man said.

"Yes, but Mr. Cosma, as a human I could fully well use fairy magic and replace you as a fairy godparent while you go and get me unbanished and then you come back and poof me to Anti-Fairy World," Anti-Cosmo said.

"And why should I do that for you?" Mr. Cosma asked.

"Well, for one, I'm your son's opposite, so it's your fault I was born in the first place. And also if you don't I'll tell everyone that your godchild has a fairy. His name was Charles, right?" Anti-Cosmo asked and then smiled innocently.

Mr. Cosma sighed. "I didn't even know it was possible to dislike both a fairy and his opposite, but I guess I'll go with it. Knowing my child, your plan must be at least somewhat intelligent."

"You know Cosmo's dumbness is all a ruse, right?"

"Sure it is," Mr. Cosma said and poofed Anti-Cosmo into a human. He made him the same age as his godchild, so Anti-Cosmo had a full mouth of teeth. He also had pure black hair and very pale skin to match the other kids. His eyes stayed the same color, but his wings and crown disappeared while his bright blue school uniform turned into the gray one the other kids were wearing. "Now wait here for a second," Mr. Cosma said and poofed away.

The fairy poofed back not long after and handed Anti-Cosmo a wand "Where'd you get this?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"There's a fairy couple not too far from here and I got them to let me have her unused wand," he explained. "Now, you better be a good temporary fairy to Charles. If you're not, you'll have more than just banishment to worry about."

"There's no need to be concerned, Anti-Father, Charles whatever-his-last-name-is will be in the best hands."

"It's Charles McBadbat, and he doesn't know how to deal with a lot of things, so don't force him into doing anything. If I find out you made him unhappy in any way, I'll-"

"Don't worry, I won't touch that tiny sack of germs, I'll just fulfill our every desires," Anti-Cosmo said, smiling at the powerful wand in his hands.

"You can only grant wishes that are permitted by da fairy rules, and I don't trust you so Charles has to wish for it too. Your wand won't work otherwise."

"You're no fun," Anti-Cosmo mumbled and walked into the classroom.

"Are you lost, little boy?" The teacher asked as Anti-Cosmo walked in and sat next to Charles. Charles was clearly not happy about it, but he didn't say anything yet.

"Un-indubitably. Educate me adult human, for I have a great need of knowledge and I required a place to sit next to the heavily clothed adolescent **hither** ," Anti-Cosmo said, pointing at Charles.

'What the hell is he doing?' Mr. Cosma thought. 'He was talking relatively normally to me. Does he think humans talk like this or something?'

"I see. What's your name young man?" the teacher asked.

"Normal human just plain old Cosmo's the name," Anti-Cosmo said and looked at Charles. "I'm not the opposite, just Cosmo. I also love lakes." He said. He was trying to get the terrified looking kid to know that he was the anti-fairy from earlier to make him less terrified.

"Mrs. Fenton, I don't know how to deal with weird talking kids sitting next to me and I can't find my special green pen," Charles complained to the teacher, obviously not getting the hints.

"No need for a special pen here, my peer. I'll do anything you wish for me to do," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Okay then, where was I? Oh, yes," The teacher said and went back to teaching the class, ignoring Anti-Cosmo.

The fairy, who was watching Anti-Cosmo amazed by how weird his human talk was, finally decided to poof away to do his end of the deal, leaving the now human anti-fairy alone to grant Charles McBadbat's wishes.

 **A/N: Hey, it's my first two-parter. Sorry this took so long to get out, there was a lot of complications. I didn't want to go too long without posting a chapter so I made this story into two parts. The second part may be really short, just a heads up. I'll also probably come up with names for Cosmo's parents for next chapter. What names do you think they should have? Tell me in a review, and while you're at it you could tell me what you think of this chapter too. Next chapter, we'll finish this storyline (mostly). Also, Anti-Cosmo's human talk will be kind of explained next time too. So, see you next time i guess.**


	8. To Earth and Back part 2

**Chapter 7: To Earth and Back part 2**

 **Summary: Anti-Binky sends Anti-Cosmo, and by extension Anti-Wanda, to Earth for them to never return. They have to work with a miserable child and his fairy godparent to get back to their home.**

Anti-Cupid was trying to shoot replicas of the arrow he got earlier at a board, but it kept missing entirely. He even shot himself a couple of times, somehow. He poofed up another replica arrow when there was a quiet knock on the door. "Go away, I'm busy and I probably hate you!" Anti-Cupid yelled at the door. He pulled back his bow and started aiming at the board, but then there was loud, abrasive knocks which made Anti-Cupid let go of his bow prematurely. It landed as far away from the board as all the other arrows, it was probably the one of the closest arrows board too, but Anti-Cupid angrily floated to the door. "You made me miss my target!" He complained and poofed all the replica arrows away. He opened the door and floated backward as he saw who it was. "Anti-Mara, what a surprise! Why are you here?"

Anti-Mara had dark blue skin and much darker blue curly hair that raised in a cylindrical shape. Her red eyes glared at the anti-god. "I hear you banished my son," She hissed.

"Ha, well, um, about that," Anti-Cupid started to stay, stumbling over his words.

"Well, I wanted to tell you I have _two_ sons. Banish him too. I'm tired of his ugly face," Anti-Mara commanded and shoved Anti-Schnozmo in front of her.

"No, I don't want to be banished! I'd rather go back to pretending Anti-Cosmo never existed!" Anti-Schnozmo pleaded.

"I'm sorry Anti-Mara, but I can't banish people without good reason," Anti-Cupid said.

"You had good reason to banish Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"Of course. Have you seen his eyes? He's a freak of nature that doesn't deserve life," Anti-Cupid said.

"Have you seen his nose? _It's barely existent!_ Their both terrible freaks of nature. Get rid of him too!"

"I told you I can't, but I can get you a drink. You could actually help me with something."

"Okay," Anti-Mara replied, "as long as it involves torturing."

"Why wouldn't it?" Anti-Cupid asked rhetorically. He started floating into a second room in his castle.

Anti-Mara put Anti-Schnozmo in the corner. "Don't move," She hissed.

"Wouldn't dream of it Mother," he mumbled. Anti-Mara raised her black wand and poofed into the room Anti-Cupid went into.

* * *

"Sir, there's a fairy here to see you," Anti-Jorgen said.

"A fairy? Who? It better not be my opposite."

"No, sir, it's Carter Cosma. He's the father of Anti-Cosmo's opposite," Anti-Jorgen said.

"Oh. Why on Earth is he here then?" Anti-Binky asked.

"I don't know, sir. Do you want him to come in?"

"Why not," the ruler of Anti-Fairy World mumbled.

Anti-Jorgen poofed away and poofed back not long after with Carter in fairy form next to him.

"Anti-Binky, right?" Carter asked. Anti-Binky stared at him in silence. "I'll take that as a yes. So, from what I gather, you banished this little anti-fairy. Funnily enough, he's my son's opposite and now he's bugging me because he's exiled to Earth."

"Why is this a problem? Just because you, a fairy I've never met before, don't like it I should unbanish the kid. He got sent to Earth for a reason," Anti-Binky argued.

"I don't doubt that. I only spent half a minute with him and he blackmailed me, but that's not the main issue. The main issue is that if Anti-Cosmo is banished, Cosmo won't be."

"I know," Anti-Binky said, "Jorgen is a pitiful ruler that would do anything in his power to spite me, but I don't care about your son. I barely care about the anti version of him either."

"If you barely care about Anti-Cosmo, then why did you banish him?" Carter asked.

"I didn't. Anti-Cupid did. Go leave and complain to him."

"But-" Carter started to say but Anti-Binky waved his hand and Anti-Jorgen poofed the fairy out of the castle.

* * *

"Okay children, by next class I expect an architectural structure that wouldn't collapse if it was actually made," the teacher said. "Also, McBadbat, I need you to stay after."

"Me? Oh, I don't know how to deal with staying after school," Charles said.

That's when the bell got rung and all the kids besides Charles and Anti-Cosmo filed out the door.

Mrs. Fenton was pretending that Anti-Cosmo didn't exist. "Do you know why I had you stay after today?" she asked. Charles was breathing heavily inside his suit, but he didn't say anything. "You're suit has been scaring some of the other kids. The school board needs you to not wear it."

"But, I don't know how to handle things outside of my suit," Charles said.

"You lived six years without it, you could go the rest of your life without it either." Anti-Cosmo raised his hand. Mrs. Fenton looked at him through the side of her eyes. "Yes Cosmo?" she asked.

"I possess an inquiry. You recently punctuated the phrase 'six years'. Is 'a year' a human synonym for the phrase 'Earth solar cycle?'" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Mrs. Fenton sighed and looked back at Charles. "Back to what I was saying, just take the suit off."

"But, what if I get the plague? I can't deal with plagues," Charles complained.

"You won't get the plague, but you will get sent to the principal's office if you keep it on."

"No, I can't go to the principal's office! I don't know how to deal with principal's!" Charles exclaimed he started taking off the hazmat suit, which revealed his thick light blonde hair.

"Okay, you're free to go," Mrs. Fenton said when Charles was completely out of his suit. He was wearing the normal gray and brown school uniform. With the permission to leave, Charles promptly acted on it. Anti-Cosmo followed him out of the class.

"Why were you wearing the suit anyway? You know you could just wish for the best immune system in the universe or something, right?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Charles stopped walking, so Anti-Cosmo did too. "Why are you following me? How do you know about wishes? Why aren't you talking weirdly anymore? I don't know how to deal with you! Go away! I wish you would go away!" Charles cried.

"Calm down. Also, I won't grant that wish, I need to be here. And since you're apparently too stupid to get my hints, I'm your temporary Fairy God Parent while your normal one is away on official business," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Mr. Cosma is gone? I don't know how to deal with that."

"Then you should pick up a thesaurus. Maybe you can learn how to not be able to 'handle' things. Or cope with things. Or manage, treat, tackle, control, take care of... There is a lot of synonyms you never seem to use," Anti-Cosmo complained.

"What are you talking about? I don't know how to deal with things I can't understand."

"Uh-hu. I wouldn't expect anything different. Do me a favor and say 'I wish my vocabulary was as big as Anti-Cosmo's'."

"Will that help me deal with things?"

"Sure."

"Okay," Charles said, "I wish my vocabulary was as big as Anti-Cosmo's"

Anti-Cosmo took a yellow-starred fairy wand out of his pocket. It glowed yellow and a pink cloud saying 'vocab' appeared around Charles then disappeared.

"You lied to me! I still don't know how to handle this!" the child exclaimed.

"I guess I miscalculated. Say 'I wish I had a highly powered Anti-Wand', that should help," Anti-Cosmo said.

"How?" Charles asked.

"It just will. Now don't question me; I have magic and you don't."

"Okay, sorry. I wish I had a highly powered anti-wand."

Anti-Cosmo happily raised his wand and poofed a black one into Charles's hand then took it from him. "So, this was just the first part, you see. You can't cope with a plethora of things, so this will take a while. Say 'I wish human Anti-Como could fly'."

Charles didn't even question it that time. "I wish human Anti-Como could fly," he said.

Anti-Cosmo smiled evilly. "Your wish is my command."

* * *

Carter poofed in front of Anti-Cupid's castle. To his surprise, the door was wide open so he just floated in.

"Anti-Cupid and Mother are in there," Anti-Schnozmo said and pointed to the room they were in. He was sitting in the corner his mom put him in.

"Is she already trying to get Anti-Cosmo unbanished?" Carter asked.

"No. She saw me talking myself into coming here and then came here herself to try and get me sent to Earth too," Anti-Schnozmo explained. "Why are you going to see Anti-Cupid?"

"Your brother is threatening to reveal me as a fairy godparent. I actually really like the kid I'm granting wishes for. He barely wishes for anything because he doesn't want to deal with consequences. It's a nice and easy job where I still get all the luxuries of being a godparent. Also, If I lose another god kid I'll get fired."

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Okay," Carter replied and poofed into the room with Anti-Cupid and Anti-Mara.

~0~

"So, you see, I shot the arrow at someone and they utterly hate whatever the first thing they see is. This could ruin countless lives! I could give it to a prosperous scientist, then make him hate the concept of science and the stupid human race will all die with a lack of science. Then, because a scientist hated science, the world will implode and kill everyone again! It's genius!" Anti-Cupid said.

"I found exactly 7,834.6 reasons why that would never work, but I do enjoy the 'kill all humans' approach. I guess I could help you come up with a plan that's less incredibly idiotic, but it would also cost you some extra," Anti-Mara said.

"I banished your husband and least favorite son, isn't that good enough?"

"No."

"Damn," Anti-Cupid mumbled, then started thinking of something else he could offer. That's when Carter poofed into the room.

"I only work if there isn't a brightly colored version of my husband in the area. Get me when he's gone and the humans are ripe for killing," Anti-Mara said and poofed away.

Anti-Cupid glared at Carter. "Hey, You just made me lose one of the hate filled person in the universe! What does a stupid fairy like you want anyway?"

"You know Anti-Cosmo? Well, I need you to unbanish him."

"No! Do you know how hard it was to get rid of him in the process? My intelligence got insulted twice. And how'd you even know that I'm the one who banished him? Don't answer that, I don't care. Plus, you just interrupted my plan for world annihilation! I hate you. I hate Anti-Cosmo. I hate unbanishing. It's a lose, lose, lose if I do it," Anti-Cupid complained.

"Yes, but," Carter started, but Anti-Cupid poofed him into the middle of fairy world before he could continue. 'I guess I need a better way to to get Anti-Cosmo off of earth,' Carter thought. He raised his wand and poofed to a different part of Fairy World.

* * *

"Say 'I wish Anti-Cosmo wasn't the least intelligent being in the universe'," Anti-Cosmo said. He was floating between Charles and a giant pile of stuff that he made him wish for.

"I wish Anti-Cosmo wasn't the least intelligent being in the universe," Charles wished.

Anti-Cosmo raised his wand and it glowed. A pink poof appeared around Anti-Cosmo, but nothing happened. "That's stupid. Fine then, say 'I wish fairy Cosmo wasn't such a Goddamn genius'."

"Mr. Cosmo Sir, I don't think this is helping me at all," Charles said, his blue eyes looking at the floor.

"It's Anti-Cosmo. Also, trust me, it is helping." Anti-Cosmo reassured, "Now chop chop. The wish isn't going to wish itself."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I wish fairy Cosmo wasn't such a Goddamn genius."

Anti-Cosmo raised his wand and it glowed. Once it stopped, the now human anti-fairy looked at it in confusion. "Oh come on, that had to have done something," He mumbled. "Say 'I wish Anti-Cosmo had red eyes, like a normal Anti-Fairy'."

"Why didn't the last two work? Did you break the wand?" Charles asked, looking terrified.

"No, you did. You should try wishing for fewer things next time, you spoiled little dimwitted jackanapes," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I didn't wish for a single thing that I wanted to wish for!" Charles complained.

"And who's fault is that?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Charles looked back at the ground. "I don't like you," he mumbled.

"Yeah, so? My own mother doesn't even like me, why would I expect you to?"

"What about your dad?" Charles asked.

"I never met the guy. He got exiled to the bottom of the ocean before I was born," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know how I would handle parents being in the bottom of the ocean."

"Yup. It's really hard. I cry every night. The only thing that helps me cope is other people listening to me when I say 'say 'I wish Anti-Cosmo had red eyes, like a normal Anti-Fairy''," Anti-Cosmo said.

Charles sighed. "I wish Anti-Cosmo had red eyes, like a normal Anti-Fairy," he mumbled.

"I feel less traumatized already," Anti-Cosmo said as he raised his wand again. His wand glowed and his eyes became a bright red color. "Did it work?"

"I don't know how to deal with red eyes," Charles said.

"I'll take that as a yes. Now say-" Anti-Cosmo started.

"I wish I could breathe underwater," Charles said.

"No, that's stupid. Do you know what's under the water? Well, I don't because I don't care. Nobody cares. You could at least wish for something useful, like, per ce, a very cloudy and rainy day instead of a hideous sun filled one," Anti-Cosmo suggested.

"But I like the sun," Charles said.

"So you like a burning ball of gases that will eventually expand and engulf the Earth, destroying it by simultaneously crushing it with gravity and burning it to a crisp, but that's just about six billion Earth solar cycles away. Currently, extended exposure to the sun leads to the fragile DNA of humans, which causes cells to multiply uncontrollably, leading to a tumor and then a horrific death. Are you sure you like the sun?" Charles was hyperventilating in fear and passed out, so he didn't answer. Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Stupid fragile humans. How am I supposed to get rain now?" he mumbled.

* * *

Carter poofed back into Anti-Cupid's and grabbed the unattended, black-hearted arrow. He looked like he just got into a huge fight with bruises all over him.

"What happened?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. He was still sitting in the corner.

"Apparently wives don't like it when you abandon them with their two terrible children for a year with no intention to return, then return for really selfish reasons," Carter muttered.

"I'll try to remember that."

"Okay, good," Carter said. He raised his wand to poof away but then looked back at Anti-Schnozmo. "Actually I think I need your help. Come with me."

"I can't. Mother would be mad at me," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"You do know she left when I arrived, right?"

Anti-Schnozmo looked at the ground. "Yeah, that seems likely," he mumbled and raised his wand too. "Where are we going anyways?"

~~~00~~~

"No, no, no, no, no, no! I never agreed to this!" Anti-Schnozmo protested.

"Sure you did," Carter said and took his anti-son's wand, "Now go be a good little bait and attract Cupid out here."

"NO! He's bright and love filled, and powerful, and-"

Carter rolled his eyes. "Oh help! There's an anti-fairy out here trying to spread his anti-fairyness!" He yelled.

Multiple of Cupid's baby-like workforce poofed in front of Anti-Schnozmo and aimed their white hearted arrows at the anti-teen. Since Carter took his wand, he started screaming and flying around in circles as fast as he could so he wouldn't get hit by the arrows. All the noise brought more of Cupid's workforce, which made Anti-Schnozmo scream louder, which then brought out even more. Carter floated off to the side waiting patiently with his wand and the anti-arrow ready in his hands.

Eventually, a fairy poofed out with his arms crossed. He was identical to Anti-Cupid expect with a white and pink color scheme. Pink eyes and hair, but also pink accents on his mostly white shirt which had pink hearts instead of buttons. The fairy also had white fluffy wings instead of blue insect-like ones, and he had no crown. "What's going on out here? I can't focus on getting ready for human love day with all this noise!" the fairy scolded. All the baby like fairies stopped firing the arrows, so Anti-Schnozmo stopped flying in circles and his behind Carter. "Go back inside and get the love tanks ready for tomorrow."

"Yes Cupid Sir," They all said in unison and poofed away. Cupid looked at Carter, who then pushed Anti-Schnozmo in front of him.

"Distract him," Carter whispered to the anti-child, then he poofed away.

Cupid glared at Anti-Schnozmo. "So you're the one who's interrupting my work? What are you even doing in Fairy World?"

"Um, well, you see, you know your opposite? Well, I'm sure you do, he is the god of hate after all, so there would be some butting of heads there. I met my opposite once, he didn't understand the whole anti-fairy concept though, he never went to school, but he knows now so don't worry. I guess you might not know your opposite if you never went to school. Did you go to school? Do god's go to school? Did Anti-Cupid go to school? He is an idiot, so maybe not, or maybe he did and was just the kid that pinned all of his work on the easily threatened kid like everybody in my class," Anti-Schnozmo rambled.

Cupid raised an eyebrow. "You're weird."

"I get that a lot," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled and looked at the floor. Suddenly a pink cloud saying 'Anti-poof?' appeared in between the two magical creatures. A kid identical to Anti-Cosmo as an anti-fairy was inside the cloud.

"Wow. I know love is nauseating, but jeez. Can you get any brighter?" the Anti-Cosmo look-alike said. He sounded identical too.

"Who are you?" Cupid asked.

"Anti-Cosmo?! How'd you get unbanished?" Anti-Schnozmo asked in astonishment.

"Dad asked me to come here, if that's what you know. He also asked me to do this," the Anti-Cosmo look-alike said. The black anti-arrow got poofed into his hand and he plunged it into Cupid's arm.

"Where did you get this from? It looks like-" Cupid started to say, but stopped when he took the arrow out of him. His pink eyes flashed red for a second as he looked at the Anti-Cosmo like child.

"DID YOU POISON THE GOD OF LOVE!?" Anti-Schnozmo exclaimed.

The child shrugged. "Assuming the black arrow had hatred magic, yes. Hate would seem to poison a love icon," he said, then he looked at Anti-Schnozmo. "By the way, What's an icon? And poison?" He asked, his voice slowly losing the accent and getting even more high pitched.

The two young magical creatures then got poofed to be in front of Anti-Cupid's castle. "Hey, I know you! You're Roberto, the talking chinchilla!" the Anti-Cosmo imposter said pointing at Carter, who lowered his wand.

"Do you disguise Fairy-Cosmo as my brother? Why?" Anti-Schnozmo questioned.

"He wasn't disguised. With my Godparent magic, I can make fairies become their literal exact opposite for a limited amount of time. Your real brother is human right now, so it shouldn't affect him. And why is so he can be off of Earth," Carter explained. As he did, the blue and black colors melted off of Cosmo, making him his normal bright fairy self.

"He's human right now? Nevermind, I won't question that, but how will this help Anti-Cosmo?"

"You'll see."

"Can we get cookies for human love day? I like cookies," Cosmo said.

"Ask your mother," Carter said and poofed Cosmo away.

"Um, okay, now what?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. He decided it was best to not question Carter's strange bitterness towards his son.

"Anti-Cupid! I have a proposition for you!" Carter yelled.

"Don't you have a less loud way to get people's attention?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"Nope."

Anti-Cupid poofed out. "Weren't you two here earlier? Go away, I hate you and your ugly faces."

"You know the kid you threw to Earth a while ago? Well, how do you feel about him now?" Carter asked.

"I hate him almost as much as I hate all of fairy kind, and that's saying a lot," Anti-Cupid remarked.

"Yup. And what about now?"

"Same as two seconds ago. Do you honestly expect a change in opinion that fa-" Anti-Cupid started, but then his eyes glowed pink for a second.

"And now?" Carter asked with a smug smile on his face.

Anti-Cupid suddenly looked petrified. "How could I have exiled such a perfect anti-fairy! Anti-Binky's intimidation has nothing on Anti-Cosmo's amazingness!" Anti-Cupid exclaimed and poofed away.

"Take note, that is how you manipulate people to do your bidding," Carter said.

"I physically can't manipulate people. Anti-Cosmo on the other hand…" Anti-Schnozmo said and trailed off.

"Speaking of which, I should probably separate him and my godchild," Carter said and poofed away.

"Oh. I guess I should go back home then," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled to himself and raised his wand to poof away.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo rummaged through the random things he made Charles wish for before he fainted. He pulled a brown paper bag out of the pile. "Why did I even wish for this? I guess it would have been useful when Charles was breathing weirdly," He said to himself. Anti-Cosmo floated over to the unconscious child and put the bag over his head. "Well, I got one some use out of it. Now people won't needlessly question the unconscious child's unconsciousness and just assume he's intoxicated or some human thing like that."

"WOAH! Look at all that stuff!" a kid exclaimed from behind Anti-Cosmo.

The former anti-fairy quickly fell to his feet and looked at where the sound came from. It was a kid from Charles's class. This kid had curly yellow hair and brown eyes. He didn't see Anti-Cosmo until he said: "Begone my fellow human."

"Oh, you're that weird kid. How'd you get all this stuff? Are you rich or something?" the child asked.

"Indeed. The land in which I possess is great and bountiful. I can employ peasants to forge such magnificent items as such."

"I don't understand a word you're saying. Are you French? I hear the French are crazy."

"No. I can speak French though," Anti-Cosmo said, then he got an idea. "Hey, you're a human right?"

"I think. What's a human?" the kid asked.

"Not important. How do you awaken a human that cued over due to unnatural breathing?"

"Oh, I know this! You either put water on their face or drain their blood to get rid of the cueing over germs. I'm going to be a medic when I get older! Then I'll be rich like you!"

"Okay, sure you will. Go fetch water young servant." Anti-Cosmo demanded.

"We're the same age, but okay! My name is Amleth by the way," the kid said then ran off to get water.

"See, the bag worked wonders. That child didn't even suspect that I freaked you out with beyond human level science," Anti-Cosmo said to the unconscious child. Needless to say, he didn't get a reply. Instead, Carter poofed up next to him.

"What in the world is that?" he asked, referring to the wish pile.

"Charles's wishes," Anti-Cosmo lied. "He's a very needy child you know."

Since Carter knew Charles, he knew that was a complete lie. "Weren't you scared of magic truthers finding you? How is this hiding?" he asked.

"You know that girl you poofed away when we first met? I cared a lot less after she was gone. Weird, isn't it? Also, Mum always says that humans are overly proud to be humans and bring it up a lot and use big words that they hardly know the meaning of to sound smarter. Is this true, because I'm doing exactly that and they don't seem to understand me. Am I doing it too well?"

Carter ignored Anti-Cosmo's questions and looked at his godkid. "And why the bag?"

"It's to hide his face of mind-blownness from idiot humans."

"Okay then," Carter said and poofed Anti-Cosmo back into an anti-fairy and took the fairy wand from him. "You should be unbanished right about now," he said.

Anti-Cupid poofed up next to Anti-Cosmo. "Are you okay? My deepest apologies for banishing you, my all great master."

"Yeah, you might have to deal with that for a while," Carter said.

"Approximately half an Earth rotation until Cupid's godly body rejects all the hate poison. We shall enjoy every second of it together, my love," Anti-Cupid said.

"Okay, cool. Can you poof stuff up for me?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"Indeed my love."

"Nice! Let's go!" Anti-Cosmo said. The two anti-fairies poofed away.

Not long after, Amleth walked back to the wish pile with a bucket of cold water. Carter poofed into a green squirrel and hid from the new child. "The lake was somehow dry, so I got this from the well." The kid said, then looked around. "Where'd you go french rich kid?" He asked then looked at Charles. "Medical skills activate!" He exclaimed and dumped the water on Charles's head.

Charles immediately sat up straight. "Everything's dark! I don't know how to handle darkness!" He yelled.

Amleth took the now soggy bag off Charles's face. "Hey, you're friends with that rich kid right? The one with green eyes?"

"Um. I know him," Charles said.

"Awesome! Wanna be friends? I need being rich tips. Also, can I have all that rich person stuff that your friend left behind?"

"O-okay," Charles said, not really knowing what to do.

"I'll take that as yes to both! Thank you, new friend! The name's Amleth by the way. Amleth Buxaplenty." Amleth said.

"Charles McBadbat," Charles said.

Amleth smiled, then realized something. "Oh yeah, that's why I came back here! I forgot my math book! Be right back," he said and ran to the school.

Carter came out of hiding and jumped on Charles's shoulder. "So, is a friend worth putting up with Anti-Cosmo?" He asked.

"A little. I've always wanted a friend. I've heard that they're easy to deal with," Charles said.

"That's good, I guess. Just don't get too happy with your new friend. You don't want to go without me again, do you?"

"No way! I never want you to leave again! That was torture! And I'll make sure not to tell anyone about you either."

Carter smiled. "That's good," he said. "And now with two friends, you won't be as lonely on love day tomorrow."

"Indeed."

"Did Anti-Cosmo teach you new words?" Carter asked.

"Yes. I can speak every language now. It's weird. I don't know how to deal with it."

"Of course you don't."

 **A/N: Wow! It's finally out. I never intended it to come out near valentine's day, but I put anti-cupid in there so it worked out well. Also, I noticed that this story is about Anti-Binky banishing Anti-Cosmo then stuff happens while another Fairly Odd Parents I wrote was about** _ **Anti-Cosmo**_ **banishing Anti-Binky then stuff happens (That's a very bad description of it by the way. It's called** _ **Anti-Sickness**_ **if you want to read it). Now that that shameless plug is out of the way, happy valentines day! And also ash Wednesday. On an unrelated note, what did you think of part two? What should happen next chapter? It'll take place days or months later. Yes, Charles is a distant relative of Chester. Same with Amleth and Remy. Also Tannis Turner and Timmy from a previous chapter, but as a great great great (and so on) aunt, not grandmother. And yes, I would love for you to translate this to German, Louis. Charles and Amleth may come back in later chapters.**


	9. Saint Patrick's Drink

**Summary: It's Saint Patrick's day and Anti-Cosmo hates it until Maria intervenes.**

Anti-Schnozmo trudged tiredly into Anti-Cosmo's room. He shook his little brother awake and mumbled: "Anti-Cosmo, get ready for school."

"But it's a holiday," Anti-Cosmo complained without opening his eyes.

"It's only a holiday for leprechauns and you know this."

Anti-Cosmo groaned. "But there's so much bright green. And so much good luck! It's torture!"

"Yep. Now get dressed. My magic can't work today. We're also going to have to walk to school," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"And by walk to school, you literally mean walk, right?"

"Of course. The Irish are going crazy with their luck this year." Anti-Schnozmo said. "Oh, and guess what…" Anti-Schnozmo knew Anti-Cosmo wasn't going to guess, so he just said "It's super sunny outside. Perfect for our walk to school."

"Oh boy. I can't think of anything to fill me with more jubilation," Anti-Cosmo said sarcastically.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo walked into room 720, which only had Ms. Magister and Maria. "You're an hour late." Ms. Magister said.

"Shut up," Anti-Cosmo said bitterly. "And where's Anti-Wanda?"

"Like a normal anti-fairy, she stayed home today," Ms. Magister said.

"It's Maria and Anti-Cosmo day!" Maria said happily.

"Nope," Anti-Cosmo said and turned around. "I'm not staying here if it's just you two. I'm out." He walked out of the classroom.

"No, no, no! Anti-Cosmo will not go! Maria and Anti-Cosmo day," Maria exclaimed. She ran out of the room to the anti-fairy. "Anti-Cosmo will not go. Anti-Cosmo and Maria will Patrick day together."

"Why?" Anti-Cosmo complained, "What's even to point of Saint Patrick's day? It's just an excuse for humans to-"

"To go silly," Maria finished and raised a large yellow fairy wand.

"Is that's Ms. Teacher's wand?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Maria smiled. "So if human silly, then elf silly, and anti-fairy silly," She said and poofed up two giant glass bottles. She handed one to Anti-Cosmo.

"What is this? I was going to say it's an excuse for humans to be given good luck. Is this liquidated luck? That doesn't exist, right? How would luck even be liquified?" Anti-Cosmo questioned. Maria took the cork off her bottle and shoved it into Anti-Cosmo's mouth, shutting him up. Anti-Cosmo took it out. "Hey, that's pretty good," he mumbled.

"Yes, Anti-Cosmo is happy," Maria said and smiled.

"I wouldn't say happy, per se, but not terrible," Anti-Cosmo said and started drinking out of the bottle again.

Ms. Magister floated out of the class and took her wand back from Maria. "What's that?" She asked, looking at the bottles Anti-Cosmo had.

"Silly juice," Maria said.

"That's the juice made by apple innards, isn't it?" Ms. Magister asked.

Anti-Cosmo smiled slightly. "You know, one could be lead to think that the opposite of innards is outards, but outards isn't a word. Neither is outdent."

"Truly riveting information you got there," Ms. Magistar said sarcastically.

"Outformation also-"

"Yeah, I stopped caring," Ms. Magister said. She used her wand to levitate Maria off the floor. "By the way, you can leave if you want and I won't mark you absent," she told Anti-Cosmo.

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "Well, what am I supposed to do if not learn?" He asked and drank more out of the bottle.

"You can stay if you insist," Ms. Magister said. "But if you say anything about 'outsist' not being a word, then you can't stay."

"Okay," Anti-Cosmo agreed and followed Ms. Magister and Maria back to the classroom. With the bottles in hand.

* * *

There was a knock on the door to the Anti-Fairywinkle house. Anti-Blonda swung open the door. "What took you so damn long?" She asked Anti-Schnozmo.

"I had to finish school so I wouldn't get yelled at, and because of the good luck I had to walk," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Well, have fun walking home with your weird brother," Anti-Blonda said. She walked to Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo with Anti-Schnozmo walking close behind. Anti-Wanda was messing with Anti-Cosmo, who was sitting waveringly, smiling like a crazy person, and staring at nothing.

"What happened to him? He'd never smile on St. Patrick's day," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"I don't know. He was telling Anti-Wanda about 'outards' for a couple hours. It could have been because of something to do with that."

"I think he was so sad at school without me that his sadness became happiness and then he exploded," Anti-Wanda suggested.

"Whatever the reason is, I would rather not spend an already tedious holiday with your tedious, bad role model of a brother," Anti-Blonda said and picked Anti-Cosmo up by his school uniform, then handed him to Anti-Schnozmo.

The sudden movement seemed to snap Anti-Cosmo out of his trance and slightly reopen his eyes. "Heeeeeey brootther," he slurred.

"Hi. Um, are you okay?" Anti-Schnozmo asked as Anti-Blonda started pushing the two of them out the door

"Of course my dear brother," Anti-Cosmo said. "But I've been wondering, like, my whole life about what the opposite of opposite is. Is it opposite? Opposite-ception?" Anti-Cosmo laughed. "Is it walrus?" he asked still laughing.

Anti-Wanda laughed too. "That's not the opposite of opposite. It's really octopus, because they all start with a C," she said.

"Anti-Wanda, please stay out of this," Anti-Blonda said and closed the door with the Anti-Cosma's outside.

"Wait, where'd Anti-Wanda go?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"She's just inside her house, and now we're outside of it. And the opposite of opposite is the same. Are you _sure_ that you're fine?"

"Of course! I'm always fine. Also, what's the opposite of me, if me is the opposite of anti-Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

Anti-Schnozmo sighed. "I hope you magically cure yourself by tomorrow," He mumbled.

"Will tomorrow also be the day of Patrick the saint? Cause I love Saint Patrick's day! And I love green! And I loooove you!"

"I love you too, but it would be nice if you did less impulsive things. I know Cosmo isn't the most thoughtful guy, so a lack of impulse control would probably the adolescent plasticity of anti-fairies, therefore, you are capable of not doing it."

Anti-Cosmo nodded. "I see I see. I only have one question though, what is the antonym of synonym?"

Anti-Schnozmo shook his head. 'Just in one ear and out the other, but what did I really expect,' he thought. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

~~tomorrow~~

"Still wanna know what the antonym of synonym is?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"Shut up," mumbled Anti-Cosmo. A bunch of brightly colored butterflies flew out of his mouth and into a net he was holding.

"It's actually antonym or any of antonym's synonyms. Isn't that crazy."

Anti-Cosmo glared at his brother. "I hate you and Saint Patrick's day."

Anti-Schnozmo ruffled Anti-Cosmo's hair. "That's not what you said yesterday."

Anti-Cosmo pushed the anti-teen's hand off and fixed his hair slightly. "If you touch me again I will kill you viciously and happily consume your miserable, mangled corpse."

Anti-Cosmo growled as Anti-Schnozmo ruffed his hair again. "Glad your back."

 **A/N: If you know what Anti-Cosmo did and you're underage, don't do it. He's an imaginary creature from a TV show that got turned into a character in this fanfiction and, as Anti-Blonda keeps saying, he's not a good role model. If you** _ **don't**_ **know what Anti-Cosmo did, the juice he drank was a weird type of poison, so still don't drink it. Well, now that that disclaimer is over, how'd you like the story. Leave a review. And happy Saint Patrick's day.**


	10. Someone Over the Rainbow

**Summary: A human who's grown a hatred for anti-fairies comes to spellementary school.**

A young girl enters a dark and foreboding log cabin in the middle of the woods. A man sits in the shadows sharpening some sort of metal.

"Go away!" The man sneers.

"Hello sir, I am Tanis Turner and I have-" The girl started.

"I said go away. You have the wrong guy, trust me." The man interrupted.

"Aren't you Ludwig Gage, infamous crazy person?" Tanis asked. The man stopped his sharpening. "I'll take that as a yes. I come from Ye Old Dimmesdale and I've come to understand that you believe in magical creatures. My life has been ruined by them. I was kidnapped as a baby, allegedly by an invisible evil wind like substance that can make things appear out of thin air with a glimmer of blue light. Stories like that got my father and the Turner named shunned. After being trapped for a decade, I returned telling stories of a rebuilding castle, dragons, and a boy that can appear and disappear if you close your eyes. My own tribe found me a disgrace. I need your help to seek revenge on the magic wind and the red eyed magical boy with a small nose."

The man smiled from the shadows. "I think you're dealing with the negmagwajes," he said.

"The what?"

"They're like magwajes, but the exact opposite. My mom was secretly a magwaje, that's why she called my a crazy crock-a-doodle, because I was onto her and her secrets."

"Okay," Tanis said, sort of weirded out. "Well, the sooner I can get my revenge, the better soooo…"

The man shoved a huge pile of papers into Tanis's hands and quickly went back to the shadows.

"What's this?" She asked.

"Ashes, ashes, we all catch _Fairies_!" the man screeched.

"What's a fairy?"

"The research will tell, or so I'm told. Ever since the cure, the voices have just not stopped talking. But the rainbow, you need to taste it!"

"I-i'll keep that in mind," Tanis mumbled and quickly left. She could hear the man's crazy laughter as she walked away. 'What a maniac,' she thought, then looked at the pages upon pages she was given. 'At least it's a start, I guess.' She looked up at the sky and saw a rainbow. 'Strange, it's not even wet season. Didn't Gage tell me to taste the rainbow?...'

~~~0~~~

"Hey, you know how the fairies finished their rainbow bridge 30 rotations, or days as they want us to say now, earlier than expected?" Anti-Cosmo asked Anti-Wanda.

"Nope," Anti-Wanda replied.

"Good point," Anti-Cosmo said then poofed a few feet over to Ms. Magister's side. "Hey, you know how the fairies finished their rainbow bridge 30 days earlier than expected?" he asked his teacher.

"Yeah. Why do you care? Why should I care?" She asked.

"Well, now Anti-Binky is jealous and is making an anti-bridge to earth. And I'm the reason the bridge was made so fast because I made Cupid furious and he demanded for the Mid Hole to close, forcing production on the bridge to go faster. Technically, I'm cause the anti-bridge to be built so I'm basically ruler of Anti-Fairy World already!" Anti-Cosmo said happily.

"Great logic ya got there. Why is everybody not bowing to you yet?" Ms. Magister said super sarcastically.

"Don't doubt my overthrowing skills. I will eventually take over Anti-Fairy World, I have all of eternity to try."

"I can judge you're 'overthrowing skills' as much as I want. You have a world leader, god, and anti-god who all hate you and your not even two yet. It doesn't seem like you're any closer to becoming a ruler."

Anti-Cosmo poofed back over to Anti-Wanda. "So did she know about the bridge thingy?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. Wanna play instead?"

"Sure," Anti-Cosmo said and the two of them grabbed stuff of of the shelves.

~~00~~

Tannis stopped at the base of a rainbow. She had a belt covered in weird contraptions on. She tried to touch on the rainbow, but her hand just phased through, then she put her foot, which was wearing a brightly colored complicated looking shoe, on it and it stayed. Tannis smiled. "I knew he wasn't _that_ crazy," Tannis said to herself, then ran up the rainbow.

At the top was Schnozmo and Cosmo staring down at Earth. "It's so pretty!" Cosmo exclaimed as he stared at the newly finished rainbow bridge.

"Do you remember our plan to find father?" Schnozmo asked.

"Nope. Wait, it involved french fries right?"

"Not even close, but I could still work with that."

"Okay. Who's that? Is that the plan? Does she have french fries?" Cosmo asked his big brother. He watched as a human climbed the steep rainbow bridge, and surprisingly succeeding.

"Um, no to all of those questions, I guess. You know you can poof up french fries yourself, right?" Schnozmo asked.

"Oh yeah," Cosmo said happily. He raised his yellow starred wand and poofed fire onto himself and his brother. "Schnozmo, these fries are spicy," Cosmo said, seemingly unfazed by being on fire.

"Yep. Could you try to make lava for me?" Schnozmo asked. He was also mostly unfazed by the fire too.

"What's lava?"

"Fire juice."

"Okay!" Cosmo happily said. He raised his wand and poofed water over the two of them. They were dripping wet and their green hair was covered in the fire's ashes, making it seem black. "Awe, that wasn't fire juice."

"Indeed it wasn't," Schnozmo said, smiling slightly at his masterful reverse psychology.

The brothers were too preoccupied with the fire that they didn't notice the girl reach the top of the rainbow. She was staring at Schnozmo as she caught her breath. Because of the now black hair, in her mind it clicked almost immediately who he was. "Hey, you're a big nosed, green eyed, incredibly short, and somehow flying version of the kid who abandoned me. Are you the magwaje to his negmagwaje?" She asked.

Schnozmo raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "The name's Schnozmo, by the way. And what the hell is a magwaje?"

"Is it french fries?" Cosmo asked. He knocked the ash off his hair, making it green again.

"I think another word for it is fairy. The stuff Ludwig wrote was really quite confusing," Tannis said.

Schnozmo straightened his head and smiled. "Oh, I know all about fairies! I know all about anti-fairies too. Not so much pixie's though, but from what I hear nobody cares about pixies, so I still have no regrets for skipping out on school."

"I don't know what a regret is, but I didn't go to school too because I'm deemed a level three hazzard. I don't know what that means either," Cosmo added.

Tannis stared at them in confusion for a second, but then got over it. "Okay, so you must be the opposite of the person who abandoned me. Take me to your opposite now, or I'll do something that you won't like."

"Uh-hu. And what's in it for me?" Schnozmo asked.

"I just told you, you idiot."  
"I'll do it if you bring me a wand. Like a real wand that's not fundamentally broken like this one," Schnozmo said as he pointed to Cosmo's wand, "But identical to this one."

"Okay, whatever, I'll do that. Now send me to your opposite," Tannis said.

"Gotcha, mate. Cosmo poof this human to infront of me."

"Okey-dokey!" Cosmo happily said. He raised his wand and poofed her away.

~~00~~

"This will show how much you truly know about Magic Theory," a teacher said energetically as she passes out tests. This teacher was an average fairy with short blonde hair and blue eyes. "And remember, no cheating," She added and then glanced at Anti-Schnozmo. "And no letting people cheat off of you."

"Gniaehc ni egludni ot srehto wolla reven dluow I," Anti-Schnozmo said. He tried to smile innocently, but it came off more nervous than anything.

The teacher looked at him disappointedly then floated away to pass out the rest of the tests.

"I don't think you should lie anymore, you're not good at it," Anti-Blonda whispered to Anti-Schnozmo. She was in the desk next to him.

"Yeah, I know. I can lie if I don't know I'm lying, though, so that's something," Anti-Schnozmo whispered back.

"Sure it is," Anti-Blonda mumbled.

Suddenly a pink cloud saying piof, instead of poof, appeared in front of the two anti-fairies, and Tannis was there once it dissipated.

"What? You? How?" Anti-Schnozmo asked her in bewilderment.

" _You!_ " Tannis hissed and glared at the anti-teen.

"Oh, yeah, you would hate me," he mumbled and poofed away.

"A human!" Anti-Blonda exclaimed and poofed herself away.

The remaining students stared at the human in wonder. "Excuse me, but how did you get here? You look a little too old to have a fairy god parent," the teacher said.

"Where did the annoying voiced one go? I need him," Tannis replied.

Next to her a young, bright eyed gnome touched something on her belt. The contraption expanded and exploded, spewing flakes of a gray substance.

"Don't touch my things!" Tannis scolded and took a step back from the child.

The teacher picked up some flakes and stared at it. "Iron…" She mumbled, then looked at the human next to her. "You shouldn't be bringing iron to this school, young lady. I'm going to have to send you back to your planet."

"No, I need that negmagwaje!" Tannins exclaimed. She grabbed another device off of her belt and threw it at the fairy hand holding the wand. In another exposing of iron flakes, the bright yellow wand got dropped to the floor. The students watched silently as Tannins grabbed the wand off the floor and ran out of the class.

A black haired, purple eyed teenage fairy with fairly large muscles flouted out of his seat. "Don't fret, my fairy educator! I will retrieve your wand for you!" he declared with a Spanish accent.

"Juandissimo, sit back down. I think this is serious. Iron could do serious damage to anti-fairies," the teacher said as she floated over and pressed a button under her desk.

Vice principal Meyer poofed next to the teacher. "Mrs. Ashcraft, both Principal Benes and I are very busy right now, can it wait?" Meyer asked.

"No, it can't. There's an older looking human on the premises that is carrying iron and has stolen a fairy wand," the teacher explained.

"Oh my goodness, that's terrible! We'll get on it right away," Meyer said and poofed hastily away.

~~~~000~~~~

"There must be a way to use this magwaje stick of magic to find that negmagwaje," Tannis said to herself. "Maybe if I just think about what I want…" She closed her eyes and lifted the wand, making it glow a bright yellow. When her eyes reopened, she was standing in front of a door that said 'room 720' with 'special needs' being said underneath. Tannis shrugged. 'I guess this is where,' she thought.

~~~000~~~~

~~~a little earlier~~~

"Look what I made Anti-Wanda!" Anti-Cosmo said as he raised a weird contraption made from broken children toys.

Anti-Wanda tilted her head in confusion. "What's that?"

"It, if my calculations are correct, will attract all anti-wands to me. If my calculations are wrong it will blow up and destroy the whole school. A fifty fifty chance, but either way is ideal, so let's try it!"

Anti-Wanda smiled. "Yeah! I wanna see an explosion!"

Anti-Cosmo flipped a switch-like thing. The device glowed yellow. "I was expecting a blue glow, so prepare for an explosion."

"I've made all the toys explosion proof since saint patrick's day," Ms. Magister said uncaringly.

"What did I do on saint Patrick's day?"

"What _didn't_ you do is the real question, but I'm not going to answer to either."

"Why? Nevermind, I don't care." Anti-Cosmo looked at Anti-Wanda. "What do you think this does then if not explode?"

Anti-Wanda shrugged. "Make ice cream? But not chocolate ice cream because that's not delicious."

"Good quess, let's see," Anti-Cosmo said. The two anti-fairies stare intently at the device. A few seconds later Maria walks up to them holding Ms. Magister's wand.

"Does Anti-Cosmo device attract fairy wand?" She asked. The young elf dropped the wand and it moved slowly to the device like wek magnets would.

"Aw, that's the opposite of what I wanted," Anti-Cosmo complained.

Suddenly, Anti-Schnozmo poofed into the room next to his brother. "If anybody asks I'm dead. You pick how," the anti-teen said quickly then promptly poofed back out.

Anti-Blonda poofed into the room nearly directly after that. "Anti-Wanda no time to explain we need to leave!" she said also very quickly and poofed away with her sister.

"Hey! She can't just poof away a student and/or staff member from school during school hours without direct consent before hand, therefore it's against the rules. Poof Anti-Wanda back, you're contractually obligated to do so," Anti-Cosmo demanded Ms. Magister as he threw her wand at her.

"Did you seriously read the rules enough to come across that. Well, I guess listen to the rules since your illiterate," Ms. Magister said.

"Can you just poof her back?"

Ms. Magister smiled. "I don't know, _can_ I?"

Anti-Cosmo glared at his teacher. "I hate you," he growled.

Ms. Magister made her wand glow in her hand. "The feeling's mutual."

The Anti-Fairywinkle twins reappeared back in the class with a pink poof cloud. "No, no, no, no, no!" Anti-Blonda mumbled. She raised her hand as if there was a wand in it, even though there wasn't. Anti-Wanda's magic rattle wasn't with them either. "What happened to my wand? I need it!" She exclaimed once she noticed.

"You're not going to take away Anti-Wanda from this riveting learning environment; it's against the rules," Anti-Cosmo told her.

"You're such an idiot!" she hissed at Anti-Cosmo. "I'm saving my sister from a tall, gross, probably dangerous-" Anti-Blonda got cut off by the door to the room opening. "Human," she finished.

Anti-Wanda smiled. "A real live human! I've never seen one before!" She said and tried to fly to the human. Anti-Blonda stopped her before she got far at all.

"Yes you have," Anti-Cosmo said to Anti-Wanda, "remember when we when to Earth?"

"Oh yeah! The marshmallow human thing. I liked him."

"I didn't."

Completely ignoring the anti-fairies, Blaine and Dillan were staring at the human. "How could a human get into the school? Humans can't walk on clouds," Blaine asked

'Can we play with the human?' Dillan signed.

"A human that old shouldn't be able to get to the middle lands at all," Ms. Magister said. She took her wand back from Maria. "And shouldn't have a fairy's wand either."

"I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to find one specific negmagwaje," Tannis said.

"What's a negma-jiggy?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Don't talk to the human," Anti-Blonda whispered to her sister. They were in the corner of the room farthest from the door together. Anti-Cosmo also went to the corner with them just 'cause.

"Are there negmagwajes here? Is one of them the red eyed scrawny one that left me to die in a castle after stealing my hair, because I only want him," Tannis said.

Anti-Blonda then realized who the human probably was. She looked at Anti-Cosmo. "So this human is you and your terrible brother's fault."

"I wouldn't put it past us, we're both idiots. Well, I should say that Anti-Schnozmo _was_ an idiot." Anti-Cosmo got fake tears in his eyes as he put the back of his hand dramatically to his head. "Alas, this world, nor any other, shall ever contain his stupidity again, for he has passed on. Nobody ever thought that an anti-fairy could die from being so pathetic that he implodes, but my dear brother showed it was possible. He will be missed."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Anti-Schnozmo dyed. It was so sad."

"That is sad," Anti-Wanda said. She couldn't tell that Anti-Cosmo was lying. Then the silver and gold crests on the student's uniforms and Ms. Magister's wands started pulsing light. The wand in Tannis's hand turned brown and flopped over. She dropped it, not knowing what was going on.

'Emergency evacuation in 5… 4...' the glowing objects started counting down in a robotic pixie-like voice.

"No," Tannis mumbled. She took off her belt and made one of the device's dispense a thinly stringed net, turning the belt into the top of a butterfly net.

'3… 2…'

Tannis threw the net in the general direction she thought the anti-fairies were in. The net ricocheted off the wall and it actually went around all three of the antti-children.

"A net?" Anti-Blonda questioned quietly.

'1..' the badges and wand continued. A second later all the magical creatures that weren't in the net disappeared in a glow of light.

"Where'd they go?" Anti-Wanda asked Anti-Blonda. She didn't respond

"Why do I feel like I've been trapped in a net before?" Anti-Cosmo asked nobody.

"W-what have you done t-to us?" Anti-Blonda asked while stuttering with fear.

"Well, you're invisible like the negmagwaje that I'm looking for, so I activated the 'super duper net thing' since it can catch anything that flies.

"I can fly," Anti-Wanda said happily.

"That is the worst name I've ever heard for a device in my life," Anti-Cosmo said.

"I didn't name it, the Gage did."

"Infamous magic-truther Ludwig "Crocker" Gage? I listened to book about him. " Anti-Cosmo said.

"His middle name is Crocker?" Tanis asked.

"No, that was his nick name throughout school because he was crazy. By the way, negmagwaje's are actually called anti-fairies," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Oh, thanks, that's what I thought," Tannis said.

"Don't help the human," Anti-Blonda whispered to him as she tried to find a way out. Lifting it didn't work, so now she's trying the devices on the side of the belt. One opened to show hundreds of little flakes of iron.

"What's that?" Anti-Wanda asked as she look into the device.

"Something that you'll never touch in your life," Anti-Blonda said and dragged her sister to the other side of the net.

"Is it iron?" Anti-Cosmo asked as he flew to it. He stuck his hand in to it then took it out. "It _is_ iron. Cool."

"Can I stick my hand in it?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Never. And never do anything Anti-Cosmo ever does, he's a freak of nature," Anti-Blonda said and covered her sister's eyes with her hands.

"That's gotta be the nicest thing you've ever called me. I feel so honored," Anti-Cosmo said sarcastically. Anti-Wanda took Anti-Blonda's hands off of her.

Tannis was standing in front of the net, trying to guess where the three were and what they were doing, but she decided that it didn't really matter. "Listen, I just wanna find one anti-fairy that I'm pretty sure is named Anti-Schnozmo. I'll let you go if you tell me, but if not I'll throw this iron on you."

Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Like that's a threat," he said, "Sure iron hurts for a while, but after a few months in the iron sandbox it really loses it's punch. We're all old enough to practically have full immunity."

"What's immunity? Also, can I have an iron sandbox?" Anti-Wanda asked. Anti-Blonda shushed her instead of answering.

"In addition, freedom from this net is absurd since I could easily escape. I need something better if you want me to work with you, especially if you want me to give up my source of not terrible magic. I'll do it for the anti-wand of an adult anti-fairy, and nothing less," Anti-Cosmo said.

"No," Tannis said, "I can't get an anti-wand, whatever that is, and you can't get out without the help of a mortal. Just tell me were the anti-fairy is."

"No thanks, I have another plan," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled mischievously. "You see, earlier I was being questioned on my overthrowing skills. To prove to my terrible teacher that I can, and will, overthrow Anti-Binky, first I'll overthrow you."

"Yeah right. I've read the notes, you can't escape a net like this."

Anti-Cosmo's smile widened. "The notes written by a crazy person. I know you had no experience with us beforehand since you got outbested by my wuss of a sibling so let me spell this out for you. Iron has a great amount of friction with anti-fairy skin." Anti-Cosmo puts his hand back into the box of iron flakes. Anti-Blonda puts her hands over Anti-Wanda's eyes again. "This friction would cause a burning sensation at first, like what it would feel like if a human were on fire. That is only if you're not used to it though. Next," Flames erupted from Anti-Cosmo's hand in the iron filled box. Tannis took a step back from the heat. "Comes the actual fire. Fire doesn't hurt fairies or anti-fairies, it's just the friction's intensity increasing. However, rope turns into easily escapable dust when heated by fire." As he said that, the entire net caught of fire. Since it was so thin, the fire burned the whole thing in a matter of seconds. Anti-Cosmo took his hand out of the iron. "And since you can't see us, you have no idea where we actually are. Especially if I stop talking, so you're lucky that I'm a sucker for explaining."

Tannis knows how powerful anti-fairies are, so she started walking backwards to the door. "Furthermore," Anti-Cosmo continued, "humans can't walk on clouds. Now, as a human yourself, you probably knew that. As an apprentice of Gage though, you would have an invention to walk on clouds."

The teenaged human made it to the door and tried to open it, but Anti-Cosmo grabbed her and started dragging her to the middle of the room. "No, please don't," Tannis pleaded as she was being dragged.

"Shush, don't interrupt my monologue. It's not a doulogue for a reason. Anyway, Gage wouldn't waste valuable resources for mostly useless parts, meaning only the part contacting the cloud can be on a cloud. Thusly," He said then poofed him and Tannis the extent of where his magic reached, which was on the pink cloud ground just next to the outside of the classroom. "Just like a pathetic turtle on its back can't get up, a horrible human hanging under the clouds can't get up. All it would take is…" Anti-Cosmo paused for dramatic effect.

"Please, please, I beg of you, don't do it. I'll leave if you just let me go, I don't care about the anti-fairy anymore," Tannis said.

"... one push. Or pull in my case." Anti-Cosmo finished. He tugged on the human's arms then flew out of the way. She lost balance from the sudden pull and started falling forward. To catch herself she instinctively holds out her hands, but they just phase through the cloud. Her shoes, even though they're upside down, till cling to the cloud, causing Tannis to hang waverly thousands of miles above Earth.

"Yes, Anti-Binky will undoubtedly be a harder threat to deal with compared to you, but this was too easy, so Anti-Fairy World is as good as mine," Anti-Cosmo said triumphantly. "Now, I guess I'll let the school handel you. I don't care about your fate in the slightest. So long." With that, Anti-Cosmo poofed back into the school.

Once inside again Anti-Cosmo looks at Anti-Blonda, who was still in the corner shielding her sister's eyes. "The oh so dredded human is taken care of. Not so bad for a freak of nature, was it."

Anti-Wanda escaped from her sister's grasp. "That was great! I loved the fire and all the big words you used. I don't know what they mean, but they sounded soooo cool!"

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "Glad you liked it. We should go report it to the idiots who run this school, show them I'm a force to be reckoned with."

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said. She didn't exactly know what that meant, but she was fine going anywhere that Anti-Cosmo wanted to go. They poofed away together, leaving Anti-Blonda alone in room 720 to think about what just happened.

'Iron immunity?' she thought. 'What the heck is wrong with the Anti-Cosma's? He never even took the human seriously, either. How could he have defeated her so easily and confidently? Why of all people did Anti-Wanda have to choose him to be friends with?'

Eventually, Anti-Blonda's very questiony thought got interrupted when she got poofed back to her house because of school protocall.

~~~00~~~

Anti-Cosmo poofed into Anti-Schnozmo's room and looked under the bed. "While you were dead I practically overthrew the whole human race," Anti-Cosmo gloated with a big smile on his face.

Anti-Schnozmo crawled out from under the bed. "What happened to your hand? Is that iron burns? Did Mother get nostalgic or something?" he asked, knowing Anti-Cosmo didn't really overthrow the whole human race.

"It was an escape tatic. Speaking of which, everyone has an iron sandbox right?"

"No. And to most anti-fairies, iron feels worse than anything else in the universe," Anti-Schnozmo said.

"Oh shoot, so Anti-Wanda was in danger of getting hurt. I probably shouldn't have been so cocky. Well, anyway, the human has been taken care of and her memory has been wiped. Maybe you could get me her magic-truther audio book once it comes out."

"Okay. By the way, I'm-"

"Don't care," Anti-Cosmo said, cutting off his brother. He poofed away before he could finnish.

"Fine, don't hear my apology. See if I care," he mumbled to himself. He poofed away too, to go to the anti-audiobook store.

 **A/N: Sorry this took so long. I didn't want it to come out to close to the recent event in Florida. It wasn't based on that at all, it was just a coincidence. Also, I hoped you liked it. Review your thoughts. I took a page out of Jet Engines book (I hope you don't mind) and made iron a weakness of anti-fairies. Anyway, till next time.**


	11. The Day of Goodness

**Chapter 11: The Day of Goodness**

 **Summary: Anti-Cosmo is two years old, which for Anti-Fairies is not a very good thing. (There's a lot of jumping around in the beginning, just a heads up)**

"In conclusion, if someone didn't know about the alphabet and I was forced to teach them, I would snap the necks of 26 humans and rearrange their limbs in order to make their corpses into the 26 allegedly different letters of the alphabet," Anti-Cosmo said. He was at the front of the classroom with red and black scribbles behind him which were supposed to be a picture of his plan.

Anti-Wanda and Maria started clapping while Blaine looked horrified and Dillan looked actually interested. "That's a great plan," Anti-Wanda said.

"I love alphabet!" Maria said.

"But that's not all!" Anti-Cosmo continued, "To make sure the idiot that doesn't know the alphabet learns it, I'll do it about a hundred thousand more times. Coincidentally enough, that would take care of the entire human race. Fairies would have no reason to go there and it will be ripe for the taking of me! I will be the crowned ruler of the world! All will bow to Anti-Cosmo! Mwahahahaha!"

"Alrighty then, that was quite a presentation, now take a seat. Maria, you're up," Ms. Magister said.

Anti-Cosmo stopped laughing evilly. "But I'm still not done."

"There's more?" Blaine asked looking slightly more horrified.

"Well, there isn't anymore. Anti-Cosmo, sit down or I'll poof you down," Ms. Magister threatened.

"I haven't gone over the correct ways to worship me when I become ruler, or how my future son will be forced to die because I'm unforgiving. You can't just-" Anti-Cosmo started to complain, but then stopped for seemingly no reason. He started talking again, but his British accent was more prominent than usual and his cheeks were suddenly rosier. "I'm deeply sorry, Ms. Magister. I shall do as you wish and take my seat now." Anti-Cosmo smiled and took a seat next to Anti-Wanda. He stopped smiling shortly afterward though. "Wait, I didn't want to say any of that! Why is this happening? I haven't even done anything stupid lately!" Anti-Cosmo said in his normal voice.

"Maria knows," Maria said. "Anti-Cosmo is old."

"I'm not old, I'm only two. You're older than me," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Oh, you're two? Have you ever heard of the terrible twos, or the terrific twos?" Ms. Magister asked.

"No. That sounds like-" Anti-Cosmo's voice changed again, "an absolutely marvelous concept. I would adore it if you enlighten me on it, but if not, that is perfectly adequate as well." He smiled.

"Right. It's when a fairy turns two, they turn evil for a while. It lasts only 12ish hours. Anti-fairies get the opposite effect and turn good, although it does have the anti-fairy delay, so Cosmo has been evil for a while now," Ms. Magister explained.

Anti-Cosmo's smile faded while she was talking. "But I don't want to be good! I can't rule Anti-Fairy World when people have the knowledge that I once was nice! I refuse it!" Anti-Cosmo complained.

"Have fun completely rewriting your DNA then," Ms. Magister remarked.

"I don't know what DNA is, but I remember being two. It was weird," Anti-Wanda said.

"Anti-Fairies are always weird," Blaine mumbled barely hearable.

"So anti-fairies remember it after the fact? Of all the things that I've forgotten, why must this infinitely stain my memory?" Anti-Cosmo whined. "Life is unfair and also terrible. Being nice is-" the anti-fairy froze for a moment then smiled. "-Absolutely marvelous! I wanna be nice forever and ever. Random acts of kindness cost nothing, but bring the greatest reward."

"What's the reward?" Anti-Wanda asks.

"The best reward of all, my dear friend: the reward of being nice!"

"Wait a second, you can't trick me. That was what you had to do to get the reward. The reward can't be the not reward," she said.

"Oh, but it can! And I would never try to trick you. You see, niceness is its own reward. It has unique properties like the number zero, so it is possible," Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Uuuh, hu… What does that mean?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Well," Anti-Cosmo started.

"Don't," Ms. Magister interrupted. "We're learning the ABC's right now. The many different properties of zero will probably never be taught since you don't need math to be a godparent, but you do need reading I guess."

"Of course. Sorry for the interruption. Please, continue," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled innocently at his teacher.

Ms. Magister knew that she should be grateful that Anti-Cosmo was going through the terrific twos since she got an apology for an interruption rather than complaining about how fundamentally flawed the school system is, but after being his teacher for over a year and a half it, was more off putting than anything. She also knew how overly nice and annoying anti-fairies could be when they're two, so she'd much rather not have to deal with him . Ms. Magister smiled as an idea came to her. "Hey, Anti-Cosmo. You're so good at apologizing right now, aren't you? Well, I'm sure that you've done things in the past that warrants an apology. You have my permission to go be incredibly nice elsewhere. Here, you can even have this if you promise to give it back in nine hours exactly." She poofed up an average sized black starred anti-wand.

"Oh," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. He was smart enough to tell that Ms. Magister didn't want him there, but he was also suddenly nice enough to not want her to be unhappy. "Okay," He said. "And I seldomly swear to return the wand in nine hours exactly. And much thanks for the offer." Ms. Magister handed him said wand.

The first thing Anti-Cosmo did with his new, actually useful wand, was to poof up a tray of lemon squares. "Would you accept a lemon square as a thank you for the wand, the year and a half of quality education, and for just being so great to begin with?"

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and took some and ate it with her feet.

Ms. Magister stared at the two-year-old. "There's a reason I'm trying to get rid of you."

"Yes, right, sorry, farewell for now, and thank you once more," Anti-Cosmo said. He handed the rest of the tray to Anti-Wanda, which she happily accepted, and poofed out of room 720.

* * *

"Cupid, there's a little boy here to see you. He says he has to apologize," one Cupid's baby workforce told his master.

"Um, okay, send him in I guess," Cupid said. He started drinking the coffee in his hands. When seeing Anti-Cosmo appear in front of him he spit the coffee out in surprise. "You?!"

"Greetings God of love; I am Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Cosmo said, speaking fastly, "Although I have never interacted with you in the past because I used to find you overly bright, and love filled, and therefore horrid, but it has come to my attention that when my counterpart became myself for a minute he poisoned you with hate in order to invoke love in your counterpart in order to get me unbanished from Earth. I wanted to thank you for your cooperation and say sorry for putting you through it in the first place. So long." Anti-Cosmo poofed away.

Cupid tilted his head slightly in confusion. "The little boy left," The same baby-like workforce member from before said.

"I see that," Cupid said. He twirled the coffee in its cup then looked at his employee. "And you, find my 'to do' list. It says 'next love day ruin Anti-Cosmo's love life', I need you to change it to 'next love day _maybe_ ruin Anti-Cosmo's love life'."

"Kay."

* * *

Charles walked with Carter disguised as a green squirrel beside him. "So this one kid asked if I wanted to play with them, but I can't handle playing, or talking to random people, so I screamed and ran away. That's a normal response, isn't it?" Charles asked.

"Umm… no. How would you ev-" Carter started but he was cut off by a bottle falling in front of them. Charles screamed in fear of the sudden object and jumped into a nearby bush.

"I can't deal with bottles descending rapidly from the sky. I wished you'd go kill it."

Carter sighed. "You didn't need to wish for that, it's against da rules to wish for death, a bottle is already dead, and it's just a bottle with a letter inside."

"What does the letter say?"

"Let's see." Carter cleared his throat and started reading "'Dear Carter Cosma, Sorry for manipulating you. Sincerely Anti-Cosmo.' Speech to text paper, I'm assuming."

Charles came out of the bush. "Oh, okay." He started walking with Carter again.

* * *

"Greetings Anti-Cupid," Anti-Cosmo said as he poofed in front of said Anti-God.

"You!?" Anti-Cupid growled at the sight of the anti-child.

"Would it delight you to know you're opposite had a similar reaction to me?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"What do you want?"

"I want to apologize for technically getting you poisoned, even though it wasn't really me, for taking full advantage of your love for me while it lasted, and getting Anti-Binky to hate you more than he did before. My apologies. Farewell," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed away.

Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes. "Stupid kid. I'll give him something to be really sorry for."

* * *

"Then Amleth started saying he wanted to let my blood and I cried," Charles said.

"You know I was there, right?" Carter asked

"Really? Why didn't you do anything?"

"You didn't wish for anything."

"Oh yeah…"

The two walked in silence until another bottle fell from the sky. Since there were no bushes around anymore, Charles jumped backward and got prepared to run. Carter walked up to the bottle and removed the paper from within. "It's for you," Carter said. He poofed into a green bird and handed his godchild the paper, then stood on his shoulder as he read.

"'Dear Charles McBadbat,'" the little boy read, "'sorry for exploiting your feeble human mind. Wait, that wasn't very nice, was it? Does he even know what feeble means? Oh yeah, speaking of which, sorry for making you faint with knowledge undiscovered by humans. At least you're not ignorant anymore. Sincerely Anti-Cosmo'." Charles looked at Carter on his shoulder. "I don't know how to deal with this? Do I reply? Do I feel happy because he apologized or sad because he called my mind feeble and forgot he gave me his vocabulary? I feel more scared and confused than anything. I don't know how to cope with feeling scared and confused. That's two too many emotions."

"Don't worry," said Carter as he poofed the letter away, "he probably thinks I ungranted all of his stupid wishes

"Why didn't you?"

Carter poofed into a squirrel again and jumped off his godchild's shoulder. "Let's just say that there's a lot of synonyms for 'deal'."

Since Charles was only given Anti-Cosmo's vocabulary and not his intelligence, his six-year-old mind didn't get what Carter was implying. "Okay," He said instead of questioning it. They started walking again.

* * *

Tannis got shoved out of the town's church. "Begone, you devil vessel!" the priest exclaimed.

Tannis glared at him. "I'll show you I'm right. Fairies are real, and we'll get the proof!"

The priest scoffed and slammed the church doors. Tannis trudged away from the church and a bottle fell in front of her. She lifted it and took the letter out. 'Dear Magic-Truther Lady, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to say why, though. I'm also not allowed to put down my real name. Sincerely, Cosmo's opposite,' it said. A huge, insane smile spread across her face. "Negmagwaji," she hissed happily. "I knew I found your hiding hole. I _will_ find you."

* * *

"Umm, sir…" Anti-Jorgen mumbled.

"What?" Anti-Binky asked impatiently. There were papers all around him.

"Well…"

Anti-Cosmo poofed next to Anti-Jorgen. The scrawny adult anti-fairy pointed to the smiling, rosy-cheeked child. "He wants to apologize…"

Anti-Binky stared at his second in command in silence. Anti-Cosmo ignored his ruler's look. "Greetings Anti-Binky, I'm sorry I tried to take over your job, steal your wand, and assassi-"

Anti-Binky groaned, cutting off Anti-Cosmo. "I don't have time for you terrific two spiel; I have a country to run."

"You're right sir. My apologies," Anti-Cosmo poofed away.

"And I'll deal with you later," Anti-Binky growled. Anti-Jorgen gulped in fear.

* * *

Anti-Schnozmo stood by the door to his classroom. He was on the floor since the still growing pile of homework all the other classmates keep throwing on him was weighing him down. Anti-Blonda poofed next to him. "You don't have to do everyone's homework, you know."

"Well, I can't stand up to them. Schnozmo would do that without a second thought," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled. "Maybe you could stand up to them for me."

Anti-Blonda laughed. "No, you bad role model. I came here to give you this," She said and added her homework to the pile. Anti-Cosmo poofed in front of the two of them. "And that's my cue to go," She mumbled and poofed away.

"Let me help you, my dear brother," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed the homework out of his hands.

"I-is that a _normal_ anti-wand?" He asked, sounding scared.

"Indeed. Ms. Magister gave it to me. I have to return it in 7 hours and 43 minutes."

Schnozmo could hear the difference in Anti-Cosmo's voice, and realized that he wasn't smiling evilly, but actually kindly. That was debatably scarier in the anti-teen's mind. "Terrific twos?" He asked.

"Indeed again. I wanted to apologize for trying to steal your wand more times than I can count."

Anti-Schnozmo stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He could apologize for being manipulating, reckless, needy, annoying, or basically anything else, but they just ended up staring in silence.

"Anyway, " Anti-Cosmo broke the silence, "I have more apologies. See ya at home." The anti-toddler poofed away.

Anti-Schnozmo sighed. "He's not very good at being good. I don't think that's a good thing."

* * *

~~~the final apology~~~

Cosmo growled and kicked a rock under his feet. It hit a malfunctioning wand that was spewing out static, much to its random fairy owner's dismay. When the projectile collided with it, it was fixed instantly. "Thanks, kid," the fairy called out. The magical toddler growled harder.

His green eyes had dark purple bags under them. He looked furious. His opposite appeared in front of him. "I'm sorry I gave you bad luck once. I regret it every day I live. So long," Anti-Cosmo said. He raised his wand but Cosmo cried out 'no' and pushed his wanded arm down.

"You're not me! You're great at being not nice, and I need to be not nice too!" He said.

Anti-Cosmo was frozen by Cosmo's plea. The terrific twos doesn't get rid of hatred, it just masks it, so Anti-Cosmo wanted as little time as possible with his opposite, but that wasn't working out very well. "Are you proposing that I teach you how to be evil?" the Anti-Child asked. The fairy nodded, even though he didn't know what proposing meant. "I-I can't do that."

"Why not?" Cosmo asked. "I can't do anything right. I want people to be sad, but they thank me! Please, I need to make people sad!"

Anti-Cosmo looked at him. 'He's manipulating me,' he thought. 'That genius who ruined my life by giving me one in the first place wants to torture me in an already grueling time of my life. I can't help anybody be 'not nice' right now, he knows that. He wants me in his powerful little hands, but I'll show him.' "I can't," he repeated.

"Please, not-me, you have to!" Tears formed in his eyes. "I want to be not good! Please!"

A little kid crying can do wonders to a cause. Anti-Cosmo never hated his counterpart more in his life than he did now. Who could ever refuse such a miserable looking face. The anti-toddler put on the best smile he could muster through all his hatred and shrugged. "O-okay… I'll help you..."

Cosmo's emotions did a complete 180, making Anti-Cosmo regret his last words even more. The fairy flew through the air rejoicing. "I'm gonna be not good!" He exclaimed. The excited fairy flew to in front of Anti-Cosmo's face. "What do I do first?"

"Um," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. He never thought about how he would teach someone to be evil. Yes, he did teach Anti-Wanda how to kill various earth creatures, but he was too nice to teach Cosmo that. All he needed was something evil to teach that would still be good when performed. He decided to stall. "What evils can you commit currently?"

"Huh?"

By being a friend of Anti-Wanda, Anti-Cosmo wasn't unused to simplifying his vocabulary, but Cosmo was 'the biggest genius in fairy world'. He was sure that his opposite was lying by pretending he didn't understand, but why? What would this accomplish? One would think it was to trick others into thinking he's an idiot, but nobody else could hear them. Anti-Cosmo got snapped out of his thought by Cosmo waving his hand in front of his face.

"You okay, not-me?"

"Show me how not-good you can be now."

"I can do that," Cosmo beamed and raised his wand. It glowed yellow and a beautiful, bright green flower appeared in Anti-Cosmo's hand. The anti-fairy stared at the plant in his hand as his opposite clenched his fists.

"See," he said as bitterly as his high voice could get, "I can't do not-good good! Everyone would love that. It's our favorite color too."

Anti-Cosmo didn't reply. He hated flowers, especially ones alive and thriving, but that didn't even get close to holding a candle next to his hatred for green. Not only was it Cosmo's favorite color, so he was forced to find it unpleasant, but so many times in his short life had people called him a weirdo just because he was an anti-fairy with green eyes. 'He's toying with me. Torturing me. Unleashing the full force of his vindictive spirit upon me,' he thought.

"What can I do to not be bad at being not good?" Cosmo asked.

"Um, well, maybe," Anti-Cosmo stalled. He wasn't finding anything that was both good and bad, especially since he was distracted by his hatred towards his opposite. "You could use your superior intellect to…" the rosiness drained from his cheeks for a second. "Take over Anti-Fairy World."

Cosmo's bright green eyes sparkled. "Okay!" he said. He lifted his wand as the terrific twos reclaimed Anti-Cosmo.

"Wait-" the anti-fairy started, suddenly caring that it's not nice to overthrow the government, but they already poofed away.

Anti-Cosmo was coughing from the fairy magic as Cosmo looked around. "Wow not-me, Anti-Fairy World looks a lot like Jorgen's house."

Terrified, Anti-Cosmo glared at his counterpart. "Jorgen's house!" he hissed between coughs.

"Yep," Cosmo answered, "I come here a lot. Jorgen says I'm a level four hazard. I used to be level three. I still have no idea what either of those mean, so I guess it means that he loves me!"

'He's flaunting his ever-growing powers to remind me how weak and pathetic I am while simultaneously saying how much Jorgen'll hate me,' Anti-Cosmo thought. 'If he's this cunning, scheming, and unscrupulous at two years old, what horrors do future years have in store? I'll be dumber than a human in a matter of months! Perhaps weeks! Who am I kidding, I'm already dumber than a stupid, sniveling human.'

"HEY JORGEN!" Cosmo yelled at the top of his small lungs. He already forgot that they were supposed to be in Anti-Fairy World. The sudden outburst snapped Anti-Cosmo out of his thoughts. "ME AND NOT-ME ARE GONNA BE NOT GOOD, KAY?"

A thunderous poof erupted all around them. Anti-Cosmo's wand shot up and Cosmo stared at him. "You're not going to leave, are you?" the fairy asked. Tears appeared in his eyes. "Everybody leaves me. You have to stay. I have to be not good, remember?"

"I hate you so much," Anti-Cosmo wined under his breath. Fighting off tears of his own, the young anti-fairy lowered his wand.

Finally, the poof stopped erupting and dissipated to reveal Jorgen von Strangle. "Why are you here Cosmo?" he asked, his voice booming.

"I'm gonna be not good! Not-me is helping," Cosmo said happily. His tears were long gone.

"Terrible twos huh? Would that make you more or less of a threat? Either way, you're no match for Jorgen von Strangle!" Jorgen started laughing triumphantly. "You see, it's funny because I'm great!"

"Am I great?" Cosmo asked.

"No, I hate you," Jorgen said. He then turned his attention to Anti-Cosmo. "And you, you pathetic Anti-Fairy, I hate you too."

Anti-Cosmo stared blankly at him with eyes widened in fear. The anti-fairy wasn't even bobbing up and down while he floated, he was frozen in the air.

Jorgen could recognize terror when he saw it, so he decided to mess with the kid while he still could. The leader of Fairy World laughed and pointed his giant wand at the anti-child. It glowed.

"You know, an Anti-Fairy in Fairy World is illegal, punishable by an infinite lifetime in prison," Jorgen said.

"No, it isn't. It used to be 3 billion years ago, but then got repealed since the opposite wars ended and it was part of the compromise. However, Fairy World has made many small laws that they ignore if their fellow fairies break, but if an anti-fairy breaks it, they get thrown into jail. Hundreds of anti-fairies suffered through the unfair treatment of bias fairies, so as a collective species we stopped going to Fairy World altogether. Going here is frowned upon by both fairies and anti-fairies, but it's not, nor ever can constitutionally be, a law," Anti-Cosmo explained. He smiled nervously. "The gift of knowledge is great, isn't it?"

Jorgen raised an eyebrow at the anti-toddler. He was going to say something, but he was interrupted by Cosmo trying to make his adorable laugh sound evil.

"I'm gonna be not-good to you, Jorgen! Watch this!" Cosmo exclaimed. He raised his wand, which glowed, and a pink cloud appeared around a nearby vase. When the cloud dissipated, the vase was polished, dusted, and all around much better than before. He stuck his tongue out at the vase, then crossed his arms. "I wanted it to be in a lot of pieces," the green fairy complained.

"Oh, right. That's what I was doing," Jorgen said. His wand stopped glowing just so he could point it at the ceiling. It started glowing again. "Tell your mother to watch you better."

"No," the young fairy refused bitterly.

Jorgen ignored Cosmo and turned his attention back his opposite. "And you, stay out of Fairy World. It would be a shame if something so small gets thrown in jail. I'll let this be punishment enough, for now," Jorgen said. His humongous wand glowed brighter and Anti-Cosmo winced in anticipation. With a mighty poof, the pair of opposites were gone from Jorgen's house.

They reappeared in Cosmo's house. Anti-Cosmo was on the floor gasping for air between coughs and Cosmo floated, arms still crossed, beside him.

"Oh, Cosmo, Darling! I was worried sick!" Cosmo's mom exclaimed and she hugged her son. He angrily poofed out of her grasp.

"Hugging is not not good mommy, and I need to be not good. Right, not-me?"

Anti-Cosmo didn't respond.

"You brought an Anti-Fairy home!" Cosmo's mom yelled. "Cosmo, you can't do that! Go to your room!"

"NEVER!" Cosmo yelled back. He poofed away, but the cry of frustration from Cosmo's room showed that he wasn't successful in his rebellion.

"And anti-fairy, you stay away from my son, you hear! He can't be corrupted by you and your anti-fairyness. I know your kind, your all the same," Cosmo's mom lectured. She continued to tell Anti-Cosmo about how he and his race were ruining everything and how the worlds would be a better place without them. "Now go poof away," She concluded.

"Yes ma'am," Anti-Cosmo mumbled in reply. His wand glowed blue and he teleported to Cosmo's room, since he did make him a promise.

"It's not fair, not-me," Cosmo grumbled. His face was in a pout as he sat on the edge of his bed. "All I want to do is be not good, but I can't. Am I just too good?"

"T-too good?" Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

Cosmo smiled slightly. "I guess being too good to be not good is a good thing. Being nice is nice, isn't it, not-me?"

Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Niceness," he hissed. "Niceness isn't nice, what's nice about it? People don't care when your nice, they don't care about anything. You could show up to someone, with only the goal of expressing your sorrow you possess because of past wrongdoings and what is given in return? Manipulation, mind games, constant reminders of your inferiority, the continual burning pain of fairy magic that surpasses even the first touch of iron, an earful of why your whole species is trash and for what? For the satisfaction of being 'nice'?" the anti-fairy looked at his wand and small tears formed in his eyes. "I just wanted to be nice, but I'm not even competent enough to do that. I can't take over a whole world; I can barely even fly. Even if I think I'm getting better, it's probably all lies. I'm just useless anti-fairy world garbage that's a burden to the universe."

"Hey, you're crying," Cosmo observed. "Did I make you cry?"

"Of course you did! You ruined my life by giving it to me! I never wanted to be born; I never asked for an opposite who's smarter than anything conceivable! Intelligence is the most valuable substance anyone can have, and you went and hogged it all up! You ruin everything! I hate you!"

Cosmo shifted his gaze to the floor. Anti-Cosmo suddenly felt really guilty. 'That wasn't nice, you idiot. You have to be nice,' he thought. "Sorry," the anti-child mumbled as he wiped the tears away. "I didn't intend to yell at you."

Cosmo looked at his counterpart with a huge smile on his face. "If I made you cry, then your not happy. Being happy is nice, so by making you not happy it was not nice! I was not nice, not-me!" the young fairy rejoiced. He started flying around the room. "I'm not too good to be not good! This is the happiest day of my life!" Cosmo suddenly stopped flying and rubbed his eyes. When he removed his hands, the darkness under his eyes was gone. "Well, that was fun! Thank you, not-me."

"Your welcome," Anti-Cosmo barely audibly replied. He lifted his wand and poofed away from his opposite and toward the school. He was floating in front of Ms. Magister in the otherwise empty classroom.

"You're early," Ms. Magister said.

"Yes, may I please return the wand despite that?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

His teacher shrugged. "I don't see why not. You just have to do one thing for me: break it."

"Break it?" Anti-Cosmo questioned.

"Yep. It destroys the wand's ability to make magic," She explained.

Anti-Cosmo knew that before she said it, he just didn't know why she would want it broken. He still obliges without any further questions and hands the two halves, sparking at the break with anti-magic, to Ms. Magister. She gave back his bright blue rattle. "Have fun flying home," she said.

"Thanks," the anti-fairy mumbled. He poofed as far away as his now weak magic could.

* * *

Anti-Schnozmo poofed into his brother's room. "So, terrific twos, that's exciting. Is it still going?"

Anti-Cosmo didn't respond, he just stared at the floor from where he was sitting in the corner of his room.

His brother could tell that Anti-Cosmo was still being 'terrific' because of his cheeks, so he said "You know, it's rude to not answer questions."

"No it's not exciting. Cosmo ruins everything," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Without hesitation, the younger anti-fairy started telling the events of the day with an abundance of detail. About halfway through his story, his voice lowered slightly and his cheeks darkened. "I had useful magic in my hands! Yeah, it couldn't get to Earth, but it was still infinitely better than this pathetic thing and I broke it! Just because Ms. Teacher told me to. I bet she made me do that just so I wouldn't bug her about getting the wand. I hate her," he finished.

"What order did you even use to give the apologies?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. That question was in his mind near the beginning of the story, but he didn't ask.

"Well, I didn't interrupt the people in school until later, but besides that, I went in the order of people I hate the least to the greatest. I already had a list of all the people I've met and cared enough to get an opinion on in that order, so it just made the most sense to do it in that order and just exclude all the ones that I hate but haven't done anything to yet. Although it was slightly inefficient, my brainwashed mind didn't care."

"You made a list of hatred? Can I see it?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.

"No."

"Why not? I probably heard half of the order from your story anyway, why can't I see where the other two people you know land?"

"First of all, I know fifteen more people than the fifteen I've told you about, not two. I'm not that unpopular. And you can't see the list since then you'd know where you fell on my preferences, and I don't want you to cry about how drastically low your name is. All you know is you're my favorite of the school goers I associate with and haven't done anything to. You may know that you rank above Cosmo and Mum, but that's not a hard bar to pass."

Anti-Schnozmo smiled. He had a pretty good guess that he was the second favorite, only passed by Anti-Wanda, so he thought that maybe Anti-Cosmo had another reason for not showing him.

"Well, at least I never have to be 'terrific' again," Anti-Cosmo said.

"Wait, you've never heard of the friendly fives?"

Anti-Cosmo looked at his brother in worry. "It happens all over again at five?!"

"Esrouc fo," Anti-Schnozmo replied

The younger anti-fairies look quickly turned into a glare. "This is why you're so low on my list."

"No," Anti-Schnozmo said, "this is." He messed up Anti-Cosmo's hair then quickly poofed away.

Anti-Cosmo hissed at his now gone brother as he fixed his hair. "I'll get you back for this!" He yelled and tried to poof after him.

 **A/N: I'm bad at ending stories. Also, it's been a while. School just ended and with the new-found free time I finished this. The chapters may come out fast now, who knows. This chapter was more focused on world/character building and foreshadowing than usual, so what do you think of it? Future chapters probably won't have as much. Review your thoughts and I'll happily read them. The picture, like usual, will change back. Till next time.**


	12. The Pixie Problem

**Summary: Anti-Cosmo, wanting a powerful ally, goes to Pixie World in the hopes of befriending the ruler.**

"So I've been thinking," Anti-Cosmo said. He was floating in front of Anti-Wanda in her room. Neither wore their school uniforms, but instead their much less bright, normal clothing.

"That's great!" Anti-Wanda interrupted. "I've been told I need to think more. Can you teach me how to?"

"I guess," Ati-Cosmo replied. "Anyway, I've been thinking about how hopelessly pathetic I am."

"You're not pathetic," Anti-Wanda said. She didn't know exactly what it meant, but she did know that her friend used it to describe a lot of things that he doesn't like, like their magic.

"Thanks, but lying won't get us anywhere," he said. He then started to monologuing. "At our current abilities, we won't be very successful at anything at all. Anti-Fairy World won't ever be in my grasp, but instead, it'll stay in the hands of that idiot. I can't let that happen, so we need to get more power. You may be thinking 'so we're getting more powerful anti-wands', but to that I say nay. Believe me, I've tried that plan enough times to know that anti-fairies cling onto their magic more than they would life itself. Instead, I see that we need an ally! By combining magic, if we get an army, even the most powerful person would be inferior; a classic example of quantity over quality. Granted, quality is still useful, so I narrowed it down to siding with one of the species of the tri-firma. We can't reach any of the other magical species anyway, so it works well.

"Well, that would leave anti-fairies, regular fairies, and pixies. Anti-Fairies are all wusses and they'd never stand up to Anti-Binky, so they're out. Fairies hate anti-fairies so much that they'd never team up with us, even if it is to take down another anti-fairy. That leaves pixies.

"I don't like pixies, but I don't like anything, so that doesn't really matter. What matters is that nobody likes pixies. The only thing they're good for is taxes, and they're outrageous with their prices that it's almost not worth it; key work _almost_. Their **geniuses**! The perfect businessman. The perfect partners in crime. All we need to do is befriend them, wanna help me?"

Anti-Wanda smiled. She loosely followed Anti-Cosmo's ramblings enough to know the point of it. "Of course! I'd love to make new friends! I've been told I need to make more, and that the new ones shouldn't be bad role models. Are pixies bad role models?"

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "I can't listen to an audiobook about them without falling asleep, so there's only one way to find out."

"And what way is that?"

Anti-Cosmo raised his wand. "By going to Pixie World."

Anti-Wanda raised her wand too and they poofed downstairs. Anti-Shnozmo screamed and poofed away when the younger anti-fairies poofed in front of him. "Wow, Pixie World looks a lot like my living room!" Anti-Wanda said, amazed.

"Our magic is too weak to go to pixie world," Anti-Cosmo explained, "But together, we can poof downstairs where my dear brother was placed. I think he'll be back."

Anti-Blonda poofed in front of them. "You can't go to Pixie World!" She protested.

"Why not?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Yes, sibling of Anti-Wanda, why not?" Anti-Cosmo added. "What's the worst that could happen? The pixies bore us to death with their math? That can't even happen because we're immortal, and we won't even be bored to sleep since it's so bright there. Pixie World is boring, therefore safe, and in turn, is perfectly suitable for us to go to. I fail to see the harm caused, so please, enlighten me why you forbid your poor sister from doing the thing she, at this moment, desires most?"

Anti-Blonda blinked in surprise since she didn't expect an actually sound argument. "Um, well, you're still terrible so you'll probably figure something out."

"Like what? My magic couldn't even poof outside in one motion, so what damage could I do? Also, could you send us to Pixie World? I don't think our original ride's coming back."

The anti-teen sighed. "I don't see why not," She admitted defeat. The wand in her hand raised, but then she glared at the younger anti-fairy "But if anything happens to my sister-"

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it before. Could you tell my brother that I hate him if he ever shows up again?"

Anti-Blonda glared harder, not liking being interrupted. Her wand glowed blue anyway, and the two anti-children were poofed away.

Anti-Schnozmo reappeared not long after and looked around. "Where'd they go?" he asked

"Pixie World. Also, Anti-Cosmo hates you."

"Okay. Wanna talk or something until they want us to bring them back?"

Anti-Wanda poofed away from him in reply.

* * *

"I liked Pixie World better when it was my living room," Anti-Wanda said. Her and Anti-Cosmo were flying above the gray sidewalk. The pixies flying around barely paid notice to them.

"I did too. This is brighter than I thought," Anti-Cosmo complained. He was looking around at the skyscrapers beside him, and stopped in front of the largest building with a giant gray sign above the door that said in bold, times new roman, silver print 'Head Pixie's Department of Evil Doings and World Runnings'.

"Why'd ya stop?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"I just realized that I have no idea where I'm going," Anti-Cosmo said. "Do you think this is it? I think it's the biggest here."

Anti-Wanda shrugged.

Even with his friend's very helpful insight, Anti-Cosmo still wasn't sure. He sighed, "Well if it's not we could always try again." The two of them flew into the building. The pixie behind the front desk was nothing special in the slightest. "We need to speak with the Head Pixie," Anti-Cosmo demanded with bounds of fake confidence.

"Do you have a conference scheduled?" the pixie asked.

Anti-Cosmo smiled at his correct assumption. "Yes," he said.

"Wait here," the pixie said. He poofed away in a gray cloud.

"That was great!" Anti-Wand praised.

"Indeed it was," Anti-Cosmo said.

Little did they know, many stories above the pixie saw completely through their lies. "Sir," he told his boss. The head pixie was much more triangular shaped compared to the square pixies and he wore round wired glasses that showed off his dull purple eyes instead of the usual flat shades. His hat and suit, although identical in design and color, were larger than normal with a gray star floating above his hat. Thin black hair that was starting to grey was hiding under the giant cone-shaped head ornament, but some still peaked out of the sides. "Two young anti-fairies are demanding to speak with you. They're lying about having a conference scheduled. Should I eject them?"

"How young?" the head pixie asked.

"Assumed by their looks, the male is approximately two years and eight days of age and the female is approximately eighty-three years, seven months, and twelve days of age."

Head Pixie tapped his fingers together in lite thought. "One more thing of note," the pixie said, "both of their eyes are uncharacteristic among Anti-Fairies." His boss raised an eyebrow in slight interest. "Rather than the typical red color, the female has pink eyes, the male has green."

"Green?" the head pixie questioned.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"That data is insufficient."

"I see… Send them in."

"Of course sir." The pixie poofed away from his boss and went back in front of the anti-children.

* * *

"That was great!" Anti-Wand praised.

"Indeed it was," Anti-Cosmo said. "It's all because of confidence."

"Really?"

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "I don't know. I listened to this business book once, but I hated it, so I didn't get very far in it. What it kept on saying was 'confidence is the key to success', so I'll fake confidence until I either get kicked out or get what I want."

Anti-Wanda smiled. "I like that plan. Can I do it too?"

"Sure."

"Awesome! What's confidence?"

"It's the feeling or-" Anti-Cosmo started to say, but he was cut short by the pixie poofing back. "I'll tell you later." Anti-Wanda gave a thumbs up in reply.

"The head pixie will meet with you now," the pixie said in his usual tone. He raised the grey circular wand and poofed the two anti-fairies to the room he just came from.

Upon seeing the leader of Pixie World, Anti-Cosmo's eyes shined with excitement. He'd never felt closer to getting the supreme power source he'd always wanted.

Anti-Wanda stared blankly at the head pixie. "Your hat is nice. I wanna hat like that, but I like dark blue better. Can I have a dark blue hat like that?" She asked.

The head pixie ignored her. His focused moved between the eyes of the two anti-fairies before him, until they settled on Anti-Cosmo's. "What brings you here?" he asked emotionlessly. It sounded like he didn't care.

Anti-Cosmo smiled confidently again. "I wish to strike up a deal with you and it all starts with Anti-Binky being in power for far too long. He's a very old, brash, violent, and idiotic leader that does actions on impulse rather than logic. As a logical man, I think that you should see the issue with the leading style." Anti-Cosmo stated pacing in the air as he spoke. "Anti-Fairy World won't last much longer under his tyrannical rule. That is why I have deemed myself worthy for the throne. Every other anti-fairy doesn't have enough bravery to stand up to Anti-Binky," Anti-Cosmo pointed to himself, "but I do.

"The only complication is that I, nor my allies, have enough power to overthrow Anti-Binky. That is why we have come to you, Head Pixie. With the power of the third most puissant wand in existence and a whole army of pixies that listen to you're every word, together we will most definitely succeed in overthrowing the anti-fairien government! It won't cost you much, and in turn, all anti-fairies will be allied with pixies!

"Together, we can take over Fairy World, Earth, then the universe!" Anti-Cosmo laughed evilly. "One would rarely pass up an almost certain promise of half the universe for basically nothing. What do you say? Do we have a deal?" The young anti-fairies' hand was held out to be shook.

The head pixie tapped his fingers together in thought. "Perhaps," he replied. Anti-Cosmo's smile widened. It fell back a little as the leader of Pixie World pushed his hand down. "But, there will be conditions and a contract to make sure all conditions are properly met. There will be no handshakes of agreement until then."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Good." The head Pixie pushed his glasses up. "Now, we need to take a customary blood sample from both you and your business partner."

Anti-Cosmo's confident demeanor was torn down by his surprise. "Wait, what? Why?"

"Do you want an alliance or not?"

"Yeah, but," Anti-Cosmo glanced back at Anti-Wanda, who had been trying to get the other pixie to smile anything while he talked. "Anti-Wanda, are you fine with some of your blood being taken out of you?"

She gave up on her goal with the pixie and looked at her friend, giving a thumbs up. "Sure! I love blood, but Anti-Blonda doesn't let me play with it anymore."

Anti-Cosmo looked back at Head Pixie. "Okay."

Without hesitation, Head Pixie lifted his gray circled wand. A poof appeared right next to Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda, from which came two average pixies with empty needles in their hands. The Anti-Fairies held out their arms for both chambers to be filled with somewhat light blue, thick blood. As fast as they came, the two pixie's and their newly acquired blood poofed out again.

"It'll take five to ten hours until a proper contract can be written up. I will poof you back here when it's finished. Don't leave Pixie Incorporated."

"Ten hours? How long is that?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Ten hours!? What are we supposed to do here for ten hours!?" Anti-Cosmo questioned simultaneously.

The head pixie ignored Anti-Wanda again so he answered Anti-Cosmo instead. "Young pixies intern for fun," he said. He poofed a pixie uniform on both the anti-fairies, shades and all, then poofed them away.

They reappeared in an office with hundreds of pixies doing paperwork in cubicles. "Intern?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"A student or trainee who works, sometimes without pay, at a trade or occupation in order to gain work experience. I assume we're unpaid."

"What's that mean?"

"Well-" Anti-Cosmo started.

A pixie interrupted him. He looked like most other pixies, but his black hair was a bit longer in the front and styled upwards. "You two are interns?" he asked. "Could you make me plain green tea?"

"You got it," Anti-Wanda smiled. She lifted her bright blue rattle, but instead of poofing up tea, it cued over. "Nevermind."

"Our magic is physically incapable of making tea; it's too fancy for it. We can only poof up water. And minimal amounts of that," Anti-Cosmo explained to his friend. "We'll have to find a tea making thing first."

"The staff's kitchen is down the hall, after a left, after a right, another left, then left, then-" the pixie started explaining. He was cut off by a completely average pixie.

The pixie pushed up his glasses. "You're interns? Get me black coffee."

Another one from a cubical right in front of the last piped in too. "I also request black coffee."

A chorus of other pixies all asking for black coffee came.

Anti-Wanda raised her rattle again, but Anti-Cosmo pushed her hand down. "We can't poof up coffee either. We'll go find the kitchen and assume it has a coffee maker."

"Okay," Anti-Wanda agreed. The two started off to find the kitchen.

Over two hours later, they return to where they started in the office. In that time, they got lost, found the kitchen, made thousands of black coffee's, and distributed it to all the pixies on the floor. Now, they only had two coffee's left. Anti-Wanda handed the one she had to the pixie with upturned hair. "There you go," She smiled.

"I asked for green tea."

"I dunno what tea is, but it is green. Really really really dark green. I like dark colors, and green. Green makes me smile. So do animals. Anti-Cosmo gives me lessons after school on how to kill some Earth animals, and it's real nice." She rambled to the pixie.

As she did that, Anti-Cosmo handed the last black coffee to a pixie floating by. "And for you, my good sir, I have prepared a perfectly bland but bitter batch of a black beverage classified as coffee."

"It didn't ask for coffee."

"Yes, but coffee with my great intuition, I knew you'd want some. I acted upon it before it even became necessary."

The pixie stared at Anti-Cosmo as he sipped his coffee. "I appreciate your work. You're promoted to being a team leader."

"Cool. Do I get paid?"

"No." the pixie said and poofed away.

Anti-Cosmo looked at the cubicle all around him. "Team leader, huh? I'm an amazing leader!" He turned to the pixie closest to him. "You, start tracking the fluctuations in Fairy World's magic supply."

"Why?" the random pixie asked.

"It'll save this company thousands of dollars in the long run, trust me."

"Okay," he complied. Anti-Cosmo sounded like he knew what he was doing, so why question it? The young anti-fairy went to the next closest pixie. "You need to find out the ever wish that was granted by fairy godparents in the last five days."

"But that task was assigned to Miller."

"Miller's fired. Now hurry or you'll be fired for costing the company thousands of dollars with your dilly-dallying."

"Right, sir," the pixie said. He quickly started checking the wishes made by godkids.

"Good," Anti-Cosmo replied. He floated to the next cubicle to spew some more random orders that the pixies will listen to since he _is_ team leader, and his voice, despite being high pitched and childish, has such an important and assertive tone to it.

"And then a huge wall of snow appeared, so I just floated there until all the snow suddenly disappeared," Anti-Wanda continued to tell the pixie with upturned hair. He wasn't really listening though. He watched Anti-Cosmo as he told nonsensical answers to his coworkers.

"How did your friend get promoted straight from intern to team leader?" he questioned.

"If you mean Anti-Cosmo, then I don't know," Anti-Wanda replied. Her eyes shined with excitement at a sudden realization. "Wait, I _do_ know! Confidence!"

"Confidence?"

"Confidence. It's a feeling, and that's really all I know. I also know that Anti-Cosmo has lots of it and is great at it. He's great at everything."

"He's only five. Surely he can't be great at _everything_."

Anti-Wanda lifted up her glasses since they were starting to fall. "But he is great at everything. And he's older than five. He's two."

"I've worked hard for three thousand years to get to this position. Your intern partner and his 'confidence' is exploiting the flawless system and should be reported."

Anti-Cosmo flew to Anti-Wanda's side before she could say anything in reply. "Good news Anti-Wanda, I got another promotion!"

"Oh boy! What does that mean?"

"It means instead of a lowly and pathetic 0 dollars an hour, my salary has been doubled to an outstanding 0 dollars an hour! I also got moved from being team leader to being foreman."

"Can I get one of those promotion thingies?"

"Well," Anti-Cosmo smiled, "Being a foreman, I can try to work something out."

The pixie glared slightly at Anti-Cosmo through his dark glasses. "Forman is the foreman of this sector and has been for twelve hundred years. You couldn't have possibly taken his position, anti-fairy."

The anti-toddler looked at the pixie beside him then back at his friend. "Who's this?" he asked.

"I don't know. He says you aren't great at everything though."

"My name is Sanderson," the pixie said. "I'm the manager of this floor of Pixie Inc."

Anti-Cosmo floated down so that he was standing on Sanderson's desk and walked to be in front of said pixie. "Well well well, manager you say? And how long did it take you to get this far?"

Sanderson didn't answer, so Anti-Wanda did. "Twelve thousand years," she said.

"It was only three," Sanderson corrected.

A smug smile slowly spread across anti-Cosmo's face. "If you say I'm not great at everything, Pixie, Then I'll show you that I'm infinitely better than you are at your job. What you accomplished in three thousand years, I'll accomplish more than in less than three thousand minutes. And that Forman you mentioned, he was fired since a two-year-old anti-fairy was better at his job than he was. I could only imagine what they would do to a manager if the same thing happens."

"I can always have you fired for not being qualified for a job," Sanderson said. His emotionless voice had a hint of annoyance in it.

The young anti-fairy grabbed the still full coffee cup off Sanderson's desk and started twirling the drink inside. "Oh really? Fire me, if you can." He took a drink of the coffee but spit it back out since it tasted terrible. It was supposed to be an intimidation tactic but since it failed horribly, Anti-Cosmo pretended like nothing happened and swirled the coffee again. "But that's a big if. If my impeccable knowledge of business fails me, and if you succeed in firing me, then Head Pixie himself, who put me here to begin with, will most likely fire you. So I'd hold back on firing me if you know what's good for you." Anti-Cosmo said. He put the cup of coffee down, accidentally putting it on the edge of the desk making it fall off and break. "And you should clean up your office."

Under the dark glasses, Sanderson's glare deepened and followed Anti-Cosmo who floated away with Anti-Wanda by his side.

* * *

Hours pass. Anti-Cosmo started seeking out the upper management of the business to get promotions fast, and he kept getting them. From foreman to shift manager to assistant manager right under Sanderson. Since Anti-Cosmo didn't care much about business, he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing, but as he rambled his way up the ranks, his confidence became more and more real. All the while, Sanderson watched Anti-Cosmo fake his way up to his position. When Anti-Cosmo became assistant manager and decided to hang out in Sanderson's cubical, the pixie tried his best to ignore him, even as the child started making crumpled balls out of his paperwork to try and throw it into the trash can. It didn't help that he missed every shot. He was also sitting on the flat grey desk, kicking his legs like a stereotypical kid.

"Shouldn't you be playing business with your anti-fairy friend?" Sanderson asked eventually.

"She drank a lot of coffee and fell asleep. I'll wake her up when HP calls us back in for our deal," Anti-Cosmo answered. He balled up another piece of paperwork, but this time threw it at Sanderson's head instead of the can. It actually hit the target that time. "This is fun. I should have inturned years ago. Maybe if I did my promotions would stop being multiplications and I'll make more than 0 dollars. Well, who needs money anyway, right Sandy?"

"Don't call me that."

"You know, Sandy, when I get home I'm going to add you to my list of people I know: Tolerable to hated. You'll be on the tolerable side. 14th place. How'd you like that? Huh, Sandy?"

Sanderson went back to ignoring him. Not long after a pixie poofed into their cubicle. "Head Pixie disagreed with and pushed the COO in a pit of fire. You are next in line. After a quick interview, we will decide whether to promote you or not."

A small smile came onto Sanderson's face, but it was washed away as soon as Anti-Cosmo shot up off the desk. He floated to his rivaling pixie's side. "As assistant manager, I'm taking this interview too." He stated matter of factly.

"Okay," the interviewing pixie said. "Why do you want this position?"

Sanderson straightened his suit a little. "I've admired the head pixie for 36 thousand years. Being his second in command would mean everything to me. I will follow every command, no matter how hard or nonsensical and will never question the head pixie."

"I want it mostly out of spite," Anti-Cosmo responded.

The pixie nodded and started writing stuff on a notepad. "Describe yourself in five words."

"A hard-working, loyal individual," answered Sanderson.

Anti-Cosmo smiled and crossed his arms with confidence. "A hired COO."

Sanderson rolled his eyes, unnoticed. "That can't possibly be a valid answer," he remarked.

"Anti-Fairy, you're the new COO. Move everything to your new office in the next five minutes." the pixie poofed away.

Sanderson's mouth opened slightly in utter astonishment and dismay. 'How… He's not even a pixie."

Anti-Cosmo floated back onto the desk. "Well, I'm awfully talkative today, so I'll try to make it concise. Confidence is key, and confidence is also a feeling. You should know better than I that pixie's have problems with feelings. If life is a bunch of cages, with your goal being freedom, you pixies spend decades lock picking each cage, one by one. Someone like me can bring out a key and unlock thirteen at a time. Pixies are utterly replaceable. I, on the other hand, am much more unique than I ever wanted to be, and not in a good way, but it's still good compared to you. I'm much less replaceable. Think about that next time before you use the word anti-fairy as an insult. Actually, I don't care about anti-fairies, so think about that next time before you underestimate my power, because I will take over the universe, even if I'm a bumbling buffoon, and I will _not_ listen to one more person telling me I can't. I wish you the worst of luck at your manager job. Now, I'm off to go be the best Commander Office Operator this company has ever seen."

"That's not what COO stands for. That also wasn't concise."

Anti-Cosmo poofed away to his new office as COO.

* * *

"Sir, the results are back on the anti-fairy blood. It wasn't a result of the supernatural, a curse, a traumatic backstory, or a problem with the fairy counterpart. The two Anti-Fairies just happen to have both of the alleles for the very recessive and rare non-red eye coloration," a pixie said.

The head pixie floated in thought. "So it was genetics. Fascinating. That's dull enough to be to my liking." He poofed up a full, twenty-page long contract for Anti-Cosmo to sign.

"Another thing," the average pixie said, "Somehow the male anti-fairy got promoted to be COO."

Head Pixie looked at the contract in his hands. "I assume I underestimated him." He poofed the contact so that it was longer and all the words were changed. "For someone with such intricate business knowledge that knows how to go from intern to second in command in the span of seven hours, a contract where we aren't close to equals could ruin our deal of being the almost certain rulers of half the universe for basically nothing. Bring him and his companion in here. Tell them the contract should be to their liking."

The pixie nodded and poofed away. A minute later, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda poofed into the room. The former was fixing his tie while the later was slouching and rubbing her eyes tiredly.

The head pixie haded the contract to the green-eyed anti-fairy. "You're business skills are commendable. I'm willing to negotiate any changes you wish to make."

Anti-Cosmo nodded. "Yes, I see." He flipped a couple of pages over, closely examining each one. At one point, he lifted up his sunglasses so he could see it directly, but he immediately regretted it and put them back down. "One question, do you have this in an audio form?"

The head pixie raised his eyebrow slightly. "No. Why?"

"Well then, can you read this whole contract out loud for me?"

"Why?"

"Because I like the sound of your monotone voice and want to listen to it for twenty-six pages," Anti-Cosmo lied.

Anti-Wanda yawned. "I thought it was because we can't read."

"That may play a factor in it," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.

"You can't read?" Head Pixie questioned. "That's awfully convenient..." he poofed the contract so it gave the pixie's full control of the whole universe with every anti-fairy, including Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda, to be their slaves. "...since I enjoy reading. It says that if you sign it, Anti-Binky will no longer rule Anti-Fairy World."

Anti-Cosmo crossed his arms. "I don't believe you. Pixies are notorious for their fine print, so I won't sign a thing until someone unbiased towards me reads this."

"Then I guess you won't sign a thing. You're magic is clearly subpar and you're education is obviously lacking. An even deal with you would be the worst decision this company has ever made. Sign this contract right now or you're fired."

The bright blue rattle in Anti-Cosmo's had was pointed triumphantly at Head Pixie. "You can't fire me," Anti-Cosmo said smiling, "Because you never _hired_ me. Same goes for Anti-Wanda. So poof up my brother I guess because we're not threatened."

"You're right. You two were never hired so we don't even need to fill out paperwork." In a cloud saying 'security', the head pixie poofed up two large, muscular, but still dull and boring bodyguard pixies. Each one grabbed an anti-fairy. "This deal is over. Get out of pixie world."

The two pixies poofed outside of the building and threw Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda with all their might, landing the two anti-fairies right in front of the pixelated dull purple bridge directly outside of Pixie world.

"So, are we going to take over Anti-Fairy World or not?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"We'll do that on a later day. The pixies are useless and boring. Although, they made a rainbow bridge just like Fairy and Anti-Fairy world, which I was responsible for, so I practically rule the universe already! I don't want to share half of my precious universe with those blockheads anyways. And if I learned anything today, it's that coffee tastes terrible and that I don't need pixies to be successful, I just need the most powerful magic I can get my hands on."

"If I learned anything today," Anti-Wanda added but didn't say anything afterward.

"Okay then. Moving on, how should we contact our siblings to bring us back home?" Anti-Cosmo asked his friend.

"We could yell _really_ loudly."

"I think we should just float home."

"That works too."

* * *

"I need a new COO since that anti-fairy turned out to be a disappointment." The head pixie said.

"The next in line is Sanderson. Do you want to promote him?" a pixie asked.

"Okay."

 **A/N: And everything worked out in the end. Also, you know how I said last time that the chapters might come out faster? I lied. Anyway, what were you're thoughts on this chapter? Review them. Currently, I don't have any plots involving HP and Sanderson in the future, but I do have pixie plots. If you want HP and Sanderson, too bad. Unless you suggest a story idea that I think would work. Review those too. Till next time.**


	13. Past Enthusiast

**Chapter 13: Past Enthusiast**

 **Summary: Foop, determined to make his Father fail school as a child, goes to the past. When he finds out Anti-Cosmo is in a special needs class that gives an A for basically just existing it ends up to be harder than he thought.**

The door creaked open and Foop floated into his home smoking with the remnants of a failed bombing attempt. Gumpy from being foiled by his counterpart once again, Foop mopes into his room. Much to his dismay, his room is entirely empty except for his crib and laundry. The anti-baby clenched his fists in anger after he got over the shock. "Mother! Father! What is the meaning of this!" he yelled throughout the castle.

Anti-Cosmo anti-poofed in front of his son. "Well, Foop, the real question is what is the meaning of this?" he said and poofed a report card into his hand.

Foop's anger got suddenly replaced with worry. "Um, well, Father I can explain."

"Out of the six subjects you're being taught only one doesn't have a grade below C. 'He's too busy making plots to destroy Poof to actually learn anything,' it says," Anti-Cosmo read.

"It's not my fault! The teacher and all the students are terrible and deserve to be destroyed. Besides, it's not like you never did anything like that when you were in school," Foop said.

Anti-Cosmo glared at him. "When _I_ was in school, I was a straight A, perfect student, even despite a deep hatred for Cosmo, the teacher, the other classmates, and pretty much everything. I became ruler of Anti-Fairy World through hard work and determination and I will not be the father of a child that thinks that _this_ is a satisfactory effort."

"What about Mother!" Foop retorted. "I doubt that she was a 'straight A, perfect student' when she was in school! Just because my opposite isn't stupider than tar doesn't mean I should be punished!"

"Your mother got the exact same grades as I did, so you have _no_ excuses. Get your grades up, or else."

"Or else what?"

The two scowl at each other. "You're grounded," Anti-Cosmo said.

Foop huffed in opposition. Before he could reply, Anti-Cosmo continued to talk. "Until all of these grades are B-'s or above, you are not allowed to poof anywhere besides my house and the school. You're also not allowed any weapons, poisons, or explosives."

"That not fair!" Foop protested.

"Life's not fair," Anti-Cosmo said. He poofed away with Foop magic bottle. The bottle soon appeared with barely any milk left in it a note on it saying 'If you complain anymore I'll make it A-'s'

Foop growled. "B minuses or above," the anti-baby scoffed under his breath. "And he thinks that I'd believe Mother got the same grades as him? I'm not a genius, but even I could tell that's a lie from a mile away." He crossed is stubby arms. "Who knows what else he's lying about, he probably was such a terrible child he got Fs too. I even met him as a child, and he was worse than I am." Something dawned on the anti-child. "That time thing, I don't think father destroyed it… I could use it to go back in time and sabotage Father's grades so he'll be so thankful for my one C that he buys me a brand new death ray gun!" The anti-toddler laughed evilly. "Oh how delightfully devilish, Foop." He raised his bottle and poofed over to the school so that he could enact his evil plan.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo was in front of the bathroom mirror, which was cracked, trying to make his hair look as neat as possible. He was fully determined and didn't even move his eyes when a square anti-baby with purple eyes poofed behind him.

"Finally!" Foop exclaimed. "This is going entirely according to plan!"

"If you're here to steal something from my brother he's two doors down. If he poofs away upon seeing you, he's under the bed. If he poofs away again, he's most likely at school using the teacher as a fairy shield," Anti-Cosmo said like it was a common occurrence.

"Brother? I didn't know you had a brother…" Foop mumbled. Barely audibly he added "He owes me a lot of Christmas presents." Back at normal volume, Foop starts talking again. "Anyway, I have come for you, Anti-Cosmo. And Anti-Wanda too, I guess, but mostly you."

Anti-Cosmo put his comb down and faced the other anti-baby. "Us? Why would you want to talk to us? Is it because everyone in anti-fairy world, especially your mother, hates your unconventional eye color so you seek refuge and acceptance with us since we're the only ones who can relate?"

"What? No."

"Good," Anti-Cosmo said. His hair that he worked so hard on to look nice morphed back to his usual spiky and messy hair, identical to Cosmo's. "Because everyone loves Anti-Wanda and I and thinks that our eyes are as cool as we are, and we're very cool. We would never relate, or even associate, with a purple-eyed lowlife like you. I scoff at the thought."

Foop blinked in surprise and confusion. "Have you always been this eye obsessed? Just because they're not red... Wait! Don't get me off track! I've come to ask you about school."

Anti-Cosmo nodded. "As I thought, you want Anti-Schnozmo. He's the one that gives out free homework answers. I'm an idiot that can't write a cohesive sentence, let alone help some purple eyed freak with school."

"SHUT UP ABOUT MY EYES!" Foop yelled at him. "I'm not trying to get homework from your brother I've never heard about, or join a weird not-red eye club; I just want to turn your straight As into straight Fs!"

Anti-Cosmo tapped his chin in thought as he looked at his future child. His eyes glanced to the dark blue bottle in Foop's hand. "Why?" he asked the square child.

"Because… um… I've been homeschooled and my parents are evil. Especially my father. I've always wanted an F but they always give me As because they hate me so much! My father, who I'm better than in every way, always says that Anti-Cosmo has the best grades, so you do too. If I make your grades Fs, I'll get Fs, and we'll all be happy! What do you say?"

"I'd say that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, and that's quite a feat if you know who I hang out with. Despite that, I'm willing to make a deal, but it may prove very difficult to get an F, so there is no backing out. Unluckily for you, I went to pixie world seven days ago, became COO of Pixie Incorporated, and stole a bunch of magical contract paper. I'll go have my assistant write up the regulations of our deal." he said and poofed away.

Since he was gone, Foop smiled evilly. "Young father is as terrible as I remember, but at least he's dumber as a child. Once my evil plan is through, I will be the smartest one in the house! I will be the ruler of Anti-Fairy World! I will set my bedtime to be whenever I want!" He laughed. "Father will be sorry that he ever dared to ground Foop."

A laugh was heard behind him, but it wasn't evil like his. "Your name is Foop? Oh my stars that's a terrible name. If I cared, I'd feel bad for you."

Foop spun around to see his future father practically rolling in the air laughing. Since he made fun of his name the first time they met, Foop was more worried about giving away his sinister plan than the name insults. "How long have you been there? I never heard a poof!"

"I floated. And I've eavesdropped enough to deduct that you're likely a secret child of Anti-Binky. That doesn't change this contract in any way, so go ahead and sign it," the young anti-fairy said. He handed Foop the magic paper.

"Contract for the Purple Eyed Anti-Fairy," Foop read out loud. "By signing this you're agreeing to trade places with Anti-Cosmo for 24 hours. This means in looks, voice, magic, and any other necessary ways to fool the idiots you interact with. Anti-Cosmo himself will stay out of your way if you so wish. Anti-Cosmo will also get your current magic/anti-magical device and have full access to take Anti-Wanda with him anywhere. If after the 24 are up and you would like to continue being Anti-Cosmo, there'll be another contract for that."

Anti-Cosmo glared at the door. "That jerk. I said forever, not 24 hours."

Foop ignored him and thought about the contract in his hands with a smile slowly creeping onto his face. 'I even get Father's ungrounded magic. All I have to do is get the grades beyond repair in a day. I've done worse in less time. Piece of cake.' The square anti-fairy poofed up a pen and eagerly signed it.

Since the paper was magical, Foop automatically got anti-poofed into looking exactly like his young father, but with purple eyes. Their rattle and bottle got switched around as well. Anti-Cosmo looked at the powerful baby bottle in his hands. "So do you want me to teach you about me or something?" Anti-Cosmo asked.

"No, I've known you long enough to know what you're like," Foop replied in a perfect Anti-Cosmo voice.

"Okay, stalker," Anti-Cosmo said. He poofed a pair of pitch-black sunglasses in his hand and held it out to his doppelganger. "Use these to hide those hideous eyes. They're a dead giveaway."

"Seriously, what's with your eye obsession?" Foop asked rhetorically. He took the glasses and put them on.

"I think about them a lot after looking in a mirror. Now go to Anti-Schnozmo and poof to school. Don't tell him that you're making me get straight Fs. He'd be super judgy and complain my ear off once he finds me."

Foop nodded "Got it." He poofed away, trying to go to Anti-Schnozmo's room, but he only got three-fourths of the way. After being confused for a second, he got over it and flew the rest of the way to the room. He was greeted by Anti-Schnozmo pointing his wand at him.

"Are you the imposter?" he asked.

Since his eyes weren't used to them yet, Foop took off the glasses so he could get a good look at his mysteriously unmentioned uncle. He looked about how he thought he would, except for the nose. Well, the lack thereof.

His eyes were enough of an answer for Anti-Schnozmo. "Who are you? Why did you want to switch places with my brother? How do you know him?"

"I'm Foop. I don't want to answer any more of you're stupid questions, so poof me to school, so I can begin to enact my evil plan."

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo agreed. He'd never been good at refusing to do something, even if he disagreed with it. The anti-teen couldn't help but realize Foop sounded a lot like his brother, not only in his voice, but how he talked. This made him trust the purple-eyed anti-fairy even less. Still, he poofed the two of them to the spellementary school.

At spellementary school, all the students in room 720 were already in their class except for Anti-Cosmo. He poofed into the room "Anti-Wanda, wanna ditch?"

"Sure!" she agreed happily. The two poofed away with Anti-Cosmo's magic bottle.

Foop appeared seconds later, wearing his sunglasses again. He looked over everyone in the room. The lack of desks and students concerned him. School was going to start in two minutes after all and only three people and the teacher were there. However, it didn't stop his flawless plan from taking action.

"Greetings classmates! I, Anti-Cosmo the evil genius and future ruler of Anti-Fairy World, am fed up with this monotonous room. You all will feel my wrath!" Foop laughed evilly and raised his rattle. It glowed an even brighter blue than it already is, but then turned dark and flopped over. "What? He can't be grounded too! Something has to work," Foop mumbled to himself. He tried to poof up everything from bombs, to killer crocodiles, to knives, to poison, to fire, to something not even inherently deadly like chains, a pillow, and an ordinary stick, but nothing appeared. With every failed attempt at magic, Foop noticeably got more and more frustrated.

"Try poofing up a leaf," Ms. Magister suggested. At this point, the whole class was watching Foop.

The anti-fairy looked at the teacher. "And why should I do that?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to. Fail a couple more times, see if I care."

Foop crossed his arms. "I don't care if you care! And I _will_ poof up a leaf. Thousands of leaves! You'll all drown in my thousands of leaves then bow down to my every whim!" He raised his wand again. It poofed up a single, bright green leaf. When he tried to poof up another, the raddle deflated again. The anti-baby growled in frustration. "But I just made one!" he hissed.

Ms. Magister smiled. "Leaves are too dangerous for disabled anti-fairies. You could only poof up one every hour. Well, one every twenty fives of an Earth's rotation, but that's basically the same thing."

An eyebrow raised on Foop's face. "Disabled? How in hell am I disabled?"

Ms. Magister didn't answer. Instead, Blaine looked to his teacher. "Is Anti-Cosmo going crazy again? Should we be concerned?"

Ms. Magister shrugged. "I don't know, maybe."

Foop smiled nervously. "What do you mean crazy? I'm doing stuff I normally do. I love Anti-Wanda, tea, reading, and universal domination. I just have decided to act on the universal domination part, and start with this pathetic excuse for a school. My magic is just having some issues."

"I can't argue with that," Ms. Magister said. She looked at Blaine. "Sounds just like Anti-Cosmo, so he must not be crazy. He looks just like Anti-Cosmo too, right Dillan?"

'His shades look cool,' Dillan signed, 'I like him better than Anti-Cosmo. He's funnier too.'

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Ms. Magister replied.

Foop couldn't understand sign language, so he was completely lost, and also under the impression that they actually mostly agreed with his lies about being the real Anti-Cosmo. "Well, anyways, I need to go see someone before I annihilate you all. Mark my words, I will return." He lifted his rattle and poofed out.

From the hallway was a clear yell of frustration. "Curse you, Father and you're fake magic!" Ms. Magister poofed him back into the room. Foop appeared coughing from the magic. "It burns!" he

hissed. "What did you do to me!"

Uncaring about the anti-baby's pain, Ms. Magister twirled her wand. "Fairy magic hurts young anti-fairies."

"No it doesn't!" Foop argued, "I've been poofed plenty of times."

"Well, Anti-Cosmo, if you aren't made by magical means it does. Neither you or your counterpart were wished into existence, so it, in fact, does hurt. Now sit down and listen to today's lesson on um…" She looked at her paper titled lesson plan. It said 'counting or something' on it. "Identity theft. It's a real big issue in Fairy World right now."

Foop glared at her. He was too busy thinking about how much he hated her to realize how coincidental the topic is. 'Once I get father's _real_ magic, she'll pay for what she has done,' he thought, 'and father too.'

* * *

"Anti-Wanda, wanna ditch?"

"Sure!"

The two poofed into Anti-Cosmo's room.

"Ooo, where are we? Also, what's ditching?"

"It means leaving school just because you want to. Also, this is my room. I tricked a square anti-fairy into giving me his magic for at least the day, and it can only transport between my house and the school because he's a stalker. Other than that, it seems to work amazingly!"

"And that means?"

Anti-Cosmo's smile widened. "It means we can finally do this." he lifted his bottle and poofed himself into a blue rat with green eyes. Anti-Wanda watched in amazement. "Wow! Can I become a monkey?"

"Sure." He poofed his friend into the said creature, but with still dark blue skin and pink eyes.

"Yay! Look at me! I'm on earth, and like to eat apples, and say mooo all day long!"

Anti-Cosmo poofed into a monkey too. "Well, monkeys don't moo, cows do. And," he poofed a banana into each of their hands, "they eat these things, not apples."

Anti-Wanda gasped in excitement. "We can poof things up too? This is great!" She shoved the whole, unpeeled banana into her mouth. "I'm a real monkey Anti-Cosmo! I eat with my hands like real Earth stuff!"

The younger anti-fairy peeled his and took a bite. It wasn't the best food he's tasted, but definitely not the worst. "Yep. And it's not confined to monkeys either. We can be anything; we can do anything! Well, we can't leave Anti-Fairy World or overthrow Anti-Binky since weapons are unattainable, but _anything_ else is fair game."

Anti-Wanda smiled. "Anything?"

"Anything."

* * *

"Anti-Cosmo, you're really bad at this identity theft exercise," Ms. Magister said. "I thought this would be right up your ally."

Foop smiled confidently and crossed his arms. "It is, I just refuse to do it because I hate you and everyone else in this room. Like her," Foop pointed to Maria. "She's too bright and doesn't make any sense. Just like these uniforms. What's wrong with black? My supposed un- I mean brother, had a normal uniform. Bright blue is hideous."

Maria laughed. "Is Anti-Cosmo silly, yes or no?"

"No, I'm not silly, I'm pure evil and a disruption to the class that doesn't do his work. I should get an F for this assignment. While you're at it, make everything I do an F"

Ms. Magister raised an eyebrow at the statement. "You want an F?"

"Well, I deserve one, do I not?"

"Listen kid, I don't give out Fs. Whether you 'deserve' it or not is not my decision to make, it's the school's. This school thinks _very_ lowly of kids like you, so most, like Cosmo, are homeschooled. They think that literally anything is worthy of an A here. Even if you never show up for a single day of class, it's still an A. Just give up."

"That's the most unfair thing I've heard in my life! Why does Anti-Cosmo get straight A's for free! I bet mother has the same thing going on. Why don't I? I get grounded instead!"

"It's not unfair," Blaine mumbled. "What good is perfect grades if you can't do anything with it. Honestly, I'd much rather have straight Fs in a normal class."

"You all don't know what you're talking about! Now make my grade a permanent F or you will pay," Foop growled.

Ms. Magister shrugged. "Okay, whatever. Just remember the time 10:13 on the eighth day of the seventh month. 29,703 years after Mesopotamia."

"Why?"

"For when you regret your decision." She lifted her wand, but it didn't glow yet. "By the way, what's your real name"

Foop was a little surprised. "You saw through my great acting?"

"Well, when Anti-Cosmo comes to class, ditches with Anti-Wanda then comes back seconds later wearing sunglasses and start acting weird, it's a bit extra obvious. What came after only furthered the fact."

Foop growled. "So Father ruined my believability before I even came? I can't believe how stupid he is as a child. My name's Foop."  
The wand in the teacher's hand glowed yellow. "So Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda named their child Foop? That's different. By the way, remember 10:14 now." Foop got surrounded by a cloud of fairy magic.

When he got free of the cloud, he was back to his regular square self, but with solid black clothes instead of his normal attire. His wand was nowhere to be seen, but he was already in front of a giant castle so he didn't care. Instead, the young anti-fairy floated into the castle feeling more successful than he's ever felt before. "Father, have you seen my report card yet? What do you think of the C? I'm so smart, aren't I? On an unrelated note, can I rule Anti-Fairy World?"

An anti-poof appeared in front of him in reply. To his surprise, Anti-Cosmo wasn't in it. "Who the hell are you?" the bald anti-fairy asked, sounding annoyed already.

"Who are you?" Foop asked back, "And where's Anti-Cosmo?"

"He's…" the anti-fairy started, but then realized something. "No, not now! I refuse to!"

Jorgen appeared before them and hit to anti-fairy in the head with a copy of 'The Anti-Rules'. "Do it, or else," the fairy threatened, then poofed away.

The anti-fairy sighed and poofed on a black robe. "I'm Anti-Binky and you wished for something _real_ stupid and it changed the future. You are now banished to the land of never existing."

"Wait wait wait! What? That can't be right! How did I make myself non-existent?"

Anti-Binky lifted his wand. "I guess you want to do this whole thing, right? Fine." He poofed them both outside of the Anti-Fairywinkle house.

"Isn't that mom's old house?" Foop asked.

"Yep. You see, Anti-Cosmo was a green-eyed freak who wanted to take over my job," Anti-Binky explained, "But he never could since he was young enough to not be a complete opposite of Cosmo. He was kind of an idiot, like any kid would be. There was this weird thing, though, where he couldn't read, write, and he couldn't fly without running into something. His mom assumed he was a huge idiot, ignoring Cosmo's lack of smarts, and sighed him up for a disabled class just to get his hideous green eyes away from her. In reality, Cosmo has the best vision in all of Fairy World, so Anti-Cosmo couldn't see, but he assumed everyone saw like that since he's had no other examples."

"What does that have to do with getting F's? Or mom's house?" Foop asked.

"Since you don't care about your own dad's life, I have to fill you in. Your Fs haven't come in yet, this always happened. Now, in your time, he finds out he just needs glasses, gets a monocle instead because he's judgey, overthrows me, and lives happily ever after. But in this timeline," Anti-Binky poofed the two of them into the house where Anti-Cosmo was looking in the mirror, trying to fix his hair. He looked just like the normal older Anti-Cosmo, but without a monocle, a black crown, and a brightly colored uniform. A baby blue, full-size wand was on the counter next to him. His put down the brush and his hair went back to normal.

"Of course…" Anti-Cosmo mumbled. His voice had lost its British accent for the most part.

"In this timeline, Anti-Cosmo got suspended from the only school he could attend, cause he failed a second grade special needs class. His mom didn't want the elementary school drop out anywhere around her and his brother did absolutely nothing to help him. He never looked back and lived with Anti-Wanda since he had no other friends. After some convincing, he was raised like a brother to the Anti-Fairywinkle twins. Granted, the clear least favorite brother, but still a brother. "

Anti-Cosmo grabbed the wand off the counter and poofed out of the room. Anti-Binky and Foop floated through the walls, since one was essentially a ghost and the other was his reluctant tour guide. He didn't make it too far away from where he started, but it was farther than his rattle could go. "Do you want me to pick up anything after work?" he called through the house.

"I'll poof you a grocery list later," Mrs. Anti-Fairywinkle replied.

"Kay." Anti-Cosmo poofed out of the house.

"Anti-Cosmo got a job at a magic pet store, which he hates, but it's the only place that'll hire him," Anti-Binky said. He poofed the two of them to the closed pet store.

Foop nodded. "Okay," he said, "And how does this make me never born? My horrible counterpart Poof was still wished into existence by Timmy, wasn't he?"

"Actually, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda fell in love before Cosmo and Wanda ever met. So that they could get legally married, they set their counterparts up with each other and that's how they met. Here, they never wanted to get married since they were basically siblings, so when Cosmo and Wanda eventually met on their own, they both were in relationships. Wanda and Anti-Wanda married Juandissimo and Anti-Juandissimo and they had a baby named Poof and Anti-Poof."

"What!? I shouldn't get sent to non-existence! Just replace me with Anti-Poof; he has a better name than mine anyway!" Foop argued.

Anti-Binky thought it over for a second and shrugged. "Okay, I guess I could do that. It doesn't really change much. Your parents might think you're acting weird for a while though."

Foop smiled. "Good. Anti-whats-his-face will be a much better father than the one I have now. He'd be less of an entitled hypocrite, right?"

"Trust me, Anti-Juan isn't entitled," Anti-Binky mumbled.

Just then, the door to the store opened and a chorus of animal noises erupted around them. Anti-Cosmo covered his ears groaned at the noise. "Every. Single. Time." he growled. He poofed a bag of all-purpose magical pet food and started feeding the animals, shutting them up one at a time. As he did so, tons of them attacked him.

Foop was too distracted by his father to remember that he was about to make a deal. "Why do all the animals hate him?" He asked.

"Anti-Cosmo has really strong internal magic, which he doesn't know about. These fairy favoring creatures don't like the anti-power that he naturally emits. Animals are more sensitive to that sort of thing. It doesn't affect sales since the creatures are on their best behavior when customers come in to try and escape the store."

"That's nice," Foop mumbled as he watched Anti-Cosmo chase a phoenix that got loose. "Why can't he get a better job?"

"I think you fail to realize how utterly sad it is to fail out of a second grade special needs class."

"Right…"

Anti-Binky moved on. "So you want to become the new Anti-Poof, right? Well, this decision is final so if you do I don't want to hear your complaining. You'll have a whole new life here in Fairy World 2.0, with a new parent, name, life, co-"

"Fairy World 2.0?" Foop interrupted.

"Yeah. Anti-Cosmo had a point, I'm not a great leader. Fairy World didn't like what we were doing and we got put under their rule entirely. I'm just for show really. And for trivial jobs like this."

"Well then, I don't want to be fairy slave." The anti-baby looked over at his future father.

Anti-Cosmo put out the fire on his shirt and stood behind the counter. "Don't worry you horrible creatures, it's only for the rest of eternity," he sighed. The animals made a ruckus in response.

Foop looked back at Anti-Binky. "Can I go back in time instead? For the sake of Anti-Fairy World and nothing else."

"Okay. To when?"

Foop blinked in response to the question. He didn't pay attention when Ms. Magister was talking. "I think there was a three in there. And it had to do with Yugopotamia, maybe."

"That's a horrible guess. I can see your whole life, so I'll just send you to when you screwed everything up."

"Okay."

Anti-Binky did just that.

Back to looking like Anti-Cosmo, Foop looked around the classroom.

"Long time, no see," Ms. Magister said, "Now about that F…"

Foop crossed his arms and avoided eye contact. "Forget it. And I guess I'll participate in your stupid lesson."

Ms. Magister smiled. "Looks like someone learned something today. That's a first. Now, back to identity theft."

* * *

Anti-Cosmo laughed evilly as he raised Foop's bottle. "No magic, no floating, no advantages. Mono e mono. Only one can come out alive. I wish you the worst of luck."

Anti-Wanda giggled and jumped up and down on Anti-Cosmo's bed. "I've always wanted to play the floor is water!" She exclaimed happily.

All around them are furniture floating in a shallow pool of crystal clear water. "Not just water, but the worst kind of water. 28-degree water. The supposed best water for humans to swim in. It's horrid. The stakes are high."

"I love steaks. The bloodier the better."

"Alright, I'll poof you one if you win. I'll poof myself carrots if I win." He poofed the bottle to a floating, shining table on the other side of the room. "Three, two, one, GO!" The two ran to opposite sides of the bed and jumped onto the next closest furniture. When it came to which chair to go to next, Anti-Cosmo hesitated, trying to calculate the shortest path to the wand. On the other hand, Anti-Wanda jumped like a crazy person from furniture to furniture, even if she wasn't going toward the bottle.

"Am I winning? I love winning," Anti-Wand said.

Anti-Cosmo's want to win took over his analytical side. "You won't be winning for long," he said and jumped to the closest chair. He went a little too far right and landed in the water. The young anti-fairy spit water out of his mouth. "Well, you won, so I guess you weren't winning for long."

Anti-Wanda jumped in the air and stayed there. "Yay! I won!" She flew over, grabbed the bottle, and poofed up a very rare steak and started eating it with her feet. After her first bite, she lifted the bottle again and poofed up carrots in front of Anti-Cosmo. "Even if you don't win, it's great having stuff you like, right?"

The younger anti-fairy nodded and smiled. "Thank you. But if we both get rewards, just to be even, we both have to lose." Anti-Cosmo flew out of the water, grabbed Anti-Wanda, then flew back into the water with a splash.

The two where both dripping wet and laughing. Eventually, they started splashing each other with the water.

Foop was watching with Anti-Schnozmo next to him. "Is this what they always do in their free time?" Foop asked.

"No, Neither Anti-Cosmo nor Anti-Wanda can even dream about poofing all this up with their magic. They seem to enjoy weaponless magic a lot more than I thought they would."

"A hell of a lot more than I do, that's for sure," Foop grumbled and glared at his father's terrible rattle.

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda continued to take full advantage of Foops magic by playing game after game until Anti-Blonda came, scolded Anti-Cosmo, and poofed away with her sister. Foop had nothing better to do, so he watched his parents play, but he didn't pay attention for the most part since he was thinking.

Twenty-four hours since the contract was signed came around before Foop knew it. Before Anti-Cosmo knew it too.

"No, please, I need it!" Anti-Cosmo cried as Foop struggled to take his bottle back. "It's the best thing that's ever happened in my life! You can't just take it! I'd rather die! Please, Foop, you have a great name and eyes and are really cool. _Please_ let me keep it! Please!"

Foop eventually pried it out of the clawing hands of the anti-child close to tears. "But I need it. Here, you can have this," he said and gave back the bright blue raddle.

Anti-Cosmo glared at his future son. "You monster! I won't forget your stupid purple eyed face for as long as I live and you will rue the day that you gave me happiness just to rip it away! Every molecule of your being will be in immense pain once I'm through with you!"

"Oh, right, I probably should do that," Foop mumbled. He raised his bottle and it flashed black, erasing Anti-Cosmo's memory of the last twenty-four plus hours, and as an added bonus, it shut him up. Foop took the moments when his father was dazed to poof away.

* * *

The door creaked open and Foop floated into his home, but this time he wasn't covered in bomb ash and instead had a paper in his hand. The square anti-baby was greeted with two poofs from an adult Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda. The later immediately hugged her son, the other glared.

"Foop, I was so worried for you! Nobody knew where you were."

"Yes, _Foop_ ," Anti-Cosmo growled his son's name. "Your mother was worried sick. The whole point of grounding you was not so you could disappear off the face of the universe for two days completely defenseless! It was so you could learn responsibility! Clearly-"

Anti-Cosmo continued his lecture. Foop knew his parents would be angry, but he didn't think they'd be _this_ angry. They didn't even know what he did, he just vanished for a while with no explanation at all. "Sorry," Foop mumbled.

" _Sorry_ ," Anti-Cosmo scoffed and rolled his eyes. The anti-child handed the paper in his hand to his father. "What's this?" He asked as he read it.

"An updated report card. Apparently, all you have to do to get good grades is turn in homework and actually do the tests instead of building a nuclear weapon out of them. Sorry about the C, I'm just bad at math."

The new card had all As and Bs, with the exception of the C, which was practically a C+. Anti-Wanda looked over Anti-Cosmo's shoulder. "Those letters are good, aren't they?" She asked.

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "They're decent," he said and handed the paper back to his son. "I'll let the C slide, but you're still grounded for not telling us where you went for two days."

"Yeah, I know," Foop muttered. He started to float to his room when he thought of something. "Father?" he asked, "What was it like when you were my age?"

"Why on Earth would you want to know that all of a sudden?"

Anti-Wanda smiled. "It's his first interest in our lives! I'll get the camera!" She poofed away.

"Well," Foop said, ignoring his mother, "you said that you worked very hard to become Anti-Fairy World's leader, and I thought it would be an interesting story. Besides, there's some things that I might learn about this family, like if I have any distant cousins, or uncles, or something like that. Besides, I only know Gramma and Grandpa on mother's side."

"Sorry to dash you're newfound dreams, but I'm an only child, and you won't be seeing my parents any time soon, but I'll happily tell you how I became the most power anti-fairy."

Anti-Cosmo told Foop all the exciting things he and Anti-Wanda did as children, with Anti-Wanda taking random pictures and adding in details here and there. They both exaggerated some things and purposely left out other parts. To Foops surprise, it was actually pretty interesting.

'See,' Foop thought, 'I told you your current life would be better than living as Anti-Poof.'

'Shut up you goodie two shoes,' he thought back to himself, 'I just don't want to live on fairy owned land.'

'Sure. that's the only reason.'

 **A/N: Foop's back. Jolly ol' fun. Leave a review of your thoughts, I'd love to read them. Fun fact, I watched reviews of people saying the FOP episode "It's a Wishful Life" sucked and that inspired me to write the middle part. I dunno why.**


	14. A Christmas Moral

**A Christmas Moral**

 **Summary: It's Santa's Day eve and Anti-Cosmo thinks that it's an ideal time to complain about how corrupt Santa Day really is.**

Maria jumped up and down. "Santa Day! Santa Day! Does Maria love Santa Day, yes or no? Yes, she does!" She started running around the room laughing.

Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes. "Santa Day," he groaned. "It makes the tedious days in heinous winter even more atrocious with the loathsome human's happiness and that detestable fatty Santa."

"Let me guess, you don't like Santa Day?" Ms. Magister asked. "I sort of agree with you. The presents are nice and all, but a day without magic isn't exactly great."

"Santa Day is horrible. No magic, pounds of coal, and I don't even have the wonders of school to distract me," he complained and crossed his arms. "Besides, Santa's one of the worst humans ever."

"I don't like Santa either, he always gives me these black rocks," Anti-Wanda pitched in, "but I like Santa Day. Mom and Dad are off of work so we have fun together and they get me lots of presents."

"My family hates each other too much to do that. Instead, I loathe in the kilometers of coal that comes spewing through the house, courtesy of that vapid, fat idiot."

Blaine looked at the complaining Anti-Fairy. He hesitated, but eventually asked, "Why do you hate Santa so much?"

"Because he's a bias, lying hypocrite who doesn't even own up to being a biased lying hypocrite. He says he's good because he gives presents to children for nothing in return, but he does it all wrong. Why does _he,_ the most privileged human, have the right to pass a judgment on the general population? I'm one of the nicest people I know but every year, without fail, coal. It's a rigged system that's treated like it's flawless. Utterly horrible. The snow doesn't help either."

"I don't like Santa because he's mean and unfair," Anti-Wanda said.

"That's what a bias, lying hypocrite is."

"Oh, okay, I agree with Anti-Cosmo then."

Blaine shook his head. "Wait, how do you think you're a nice person? You call everything and everyone horrible, that's not very nice."

"See," Anti-Cosmo complained. He pointed his rattle at the blind elf. "That's the flaw in the system. The privileged don't see any issue since they have an unfair advantage. You're probably thinking 'oh, of course he hates Santa, he's an evil anti-fairy who always gets coal', but that's just the problem. Fairies just exist and they get presents since they're good by nature, while anti-fairies can try as hard as they can to be nice and still get squat." He started pacing in the air. "It's rigged. I'm such a great person since my mother is truly terrible and it would be so easy to be like her, but I actively decide not too. The 'naughty' and 'nice' lists should be arranged how I would arrange them. Not just falling into the social constructs made by the elitist fairies, but looking at their lives and their influences and seeing what they could be instead of what they are. Think about what they are in relation to that. Compare how much better or worse they _could_ be and how easy it would be to go either way, then judge off that. An unbiased, fair way to determine what makes a person truly nice and naughty."

Blaine stared at him. "What? But… what? That's not how you decide if someone's nice. Ms. Magister, can you tell Anti-Cosmo why that's not right?"

Ms. Magister smiled slightly. "Nah, I'd rather not. I'm pretty sure you can though."

"Um… Okay…." Blaine mumbled. "I think that Santa's current method is good. As far as I can tell, he gives nice people nice things and bad people coal. Even if anti-fairy's are… um… more likely to be evil… they're still evil."

"And what would classify as being a 'bad person'?" Anti-Cosmo asked, putting air quotes around bad person, but Blaine couldn't see them.

"Well, if a person does bad things, and the bad things can't be outweighed by the good things that they do, they're a bad person. For example, trying to steal wands and trying to overthrow anything are bad things, so someone who does that a lot is a bad person."

Anti-Cosmo nodded his head. "I see. So what if this totally hypothetical person _does_ overthrow his home world and in the process make it infinitely better, therefore all of its thousands of citizens are much happier? Making people happy is a so-called 'good thing', isn't it? It would outway the 'bad thing' of overthrowing, wouldn't it?"

"Well, this hypothetical person will probably also use that power to take over the rest of the universe, and a lot more people would be miserable under his rule, so he'll still be a bad person. Constantly trying to overthrow things will have him forever stay on the naughty list."

"Forever stay on the naughty list, huh? I doubt it. He'd take over fairy world and earth then make sure Santa rearranges his list to have results that actually are _correct_ for once. He'll personally deliver all the coal to the two-shoed elites who honestly think that they deserve presents as they've wrongly gotten in years past, then he'll lick the salty tears off their faces of realization that they are inferior." Anti-Cosmo smiled at the thought. "Oh what a day it'll be…"

Blaine sighed and buried his head into his hands. "And you honestly think that you're a good person?"

Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Yes, I honestly think that I'm a great person, but we're talking about a hypothetical man, of which is also a great person. He could have ended Christmas altogether and have nobody get presents. He could have given naughty people their worst fears instead of coal. He even could have killed all of humanity at this point. He changes the faulty system to accommodate for actually nice people and takes humongous joy in the sorrow of those who have indirectly wronged him. Even by your warped views on ethics, that shouldn't be such a bad thing."

"You… you're so weird…" Blaine muttered.

"I beg to differ. You'll see that many others share my view. For example, Anti-Wanda, what's your take on ethics."

"What, me?" Anti-Wanda questioned. She wasn't paying attention to her friend's conservation in the slightest. "I don't know."

"What makes a person a good person?" Anti-Cosmo restated.

Anti-Wanda smiled. "I know this one! If someone does something and they think, 'that's a good thing to do', and they still do it then they're a good person. If someone does something and they think, 'that's a bad thing to do', and they still do it then they're a bad person."

"So it all comes down to personal guilt in your eyes?" Blaine asked.

Anti-Wanda shrugged "Sure."

"It's close enough of values to mine. At least her views don't exclude the disadvantaged as yours does," Anti-Cosmo said.

The leprechaun lifted his head again. "Anti-Wanda's views on morals aren't great either," he told Anti-Cosmo, then turned his attention to the other anti-fairy. "What if someone's crazy and don't feel guilty, even over the most horrible of things?"

"If they don't think 'this is bad' before, and after I guess, doing it, then they're good," Anti-Wanda said.

"And you know, if they're crazy it's probably a lot easier to do those heinous acts than tolerate their fellow humans. They'd be a decent to good person. It's too vague to determine the exact measure of his so-called 'niceness'."

'In my opinion,' Dillan added in sign. He was reading their lips to know what they were talking about. 'It doesn't matter as much how they feel about it, or how it could be; it's mostly about the intentions of a person's actions.'

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda stared at Dillan blankly. Ms. Magister translated for them. Anti-Wanda continued to stare blankly while her friend bobbed his head. "Interesting stance," he said, "Still not correct, but better than your bother's. Here's a question for ya. Let's say there are five humans who got thrown in a ditch with a bomb. In the hole next to it is a human in no danger at all. Do you throw the bomb to kill the one innocent person, or just leave it to kill the five others?"

"Why can't I throw the bomb somewhere besides the two holes?" Blaine asked.

"Because I hate you."

'I'd kill the one innocent person. My intentions would be to save five, so it would still be the right thing to do,' Dillan signed and Ms. Magister repeated.

"I'd save the five people too," Blaine agreed.

Anti-Wanda tilted her head slightly. "Really?" she asked, "Cause the right way is to let the bomb go off and then find another one to put with the last person so he doesn't feel left out either. All twelve of them are dead, but they're all happily ghosts together, so it's nice."

Anti-Cosmo smiled and nodded. "Anti-Wanda is right. The correct way is killing all the humans. I also would have accepted walking away and letting it kill the five since it's not your problem."  
"That's not right. What's wrong with you two?"

'Well, Anti-Wanda's intentions are to make them happy, so she's not that wrong.'

"But she's needlessly killing another! A murderer isn't a saint."

"Well," Anti-Cosmo said, "A murderer could be a good person if his situation is right. What if he was raised by a family of murderers and he knows what he's doing is wrong, but he'd get disowned, tortured, then murdered by the same family that he's grown to love? Why should he sacrifice his way of life for random people? He _could_ be a lot worse a lot easier to win the respect of his family, but he doesn't, he only kills one person a day. Great guy if you ask me."

"But…" Blaine mumbled, "But he's still a _murderer_ Anti-Cosmo. He's a horrible person

"Yeah," Anti-Wanda said, "He knows he's being mean to the people so he's a bad person."

'Not necessarily,' Dillan added, 'His intentions are to make sure his own family doesn't murder him. It's not fair to call him a bad person. Any sensible person would try to make that not happen.'

"A sensible person wouldn't murder at all," Blaine argued.

Anti-Cosmo floated lower so he was eye to eye with the twins. "See, pointy-eared one, you're own dear brother agrees with me. That's the majority, therefore I'm more correct than you."

"Two against two isn't majority."

"Three against two, Ms. Teacher repeated it so she agrees."

"I'm not a part of this," Ms. Magister said as she wrote stuff down.

"Fine then, Maria do you agree with me?"

"Yes! Maria does love Santa Day," the elf said happily. She ran around in circles.

"That doesn't count," Blaine said, "She's not listening to us."

"Well her opinion doesn't count at all really. Santa Day propaganda is pumped into an elf's malleable brain from the second they're born practically. They're biased just like Santa himself," Anti-Cosmo argued.

"And biased is a bad thing, right? So is propa-whatsit?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Yep. Bias is making a horrible holiday worse. Propaganda can be good if used in a good way though."

"What is Pro-po-panda?"

"Well," Anti-Cosmo started explaining. He was using examples from the Fairy Godchildren War as references to his points.

While Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Blaine were occupied, Dillan went over to Maria and signed a question. She giggled and used his hands to sign back an answer. They continued a conversation like that until Dillan gave her a thumbs up and joined his other classmates again. 'Maria says that she thinks all people are nice, no matter what,' Dillan signed and Ms. Magister repeated.

Anti-Cosmo stopped talking since Blaine wasn't really paying attention and Anti-Wanda wasn't retaining anything. "Really?" the anti-fairy asked, "No matter what? What if their life is perfect but they steal just because they can, not because they need to?"

'Apparently.'

"I told you she was brainwashed."

"Wait a second," Blaine said, "how does that mean she's brainwashed? Santa has a naughty list, and, as far as we know, Maria doesn't think anybody should be on a naughty list."

Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes. "You simpleton, there's more than one way to brainwash someone. What has happened in Maria's life has indoctrinated her views on life. Her family tried to proselytize their Santa warped views onto her but she picked and chose which ones to believe."

"Wouldn't that just be forming an opinion while being influenced by her life?"

"I never said that others aren't brainwashed. She's just been persuaded to thinking the wrong thing. There's such a thing as a bad person. Even that hypothetical world conquerer from before could become a bad person if he continues to steal wands after he has sufficient power. Ethics exist for a reason, so Maria's view is just plain incorrect. She still would agree that a murderer could be good, so I win."

"Unless it's purely in self-defense, a murderer can never be a good person!" Blaine argued.

As the day went on, the argument went on. All five students contributed their inputs onto a variety of scenarios. Ms. Magister was writing all of their hypotheticals, along with their responses. She also translated for Dillan, and sometimes for Maria's nonsense. By the time the school bell rang they where arguing loud enough that only Blaine and Maria could hear it, but they didn't pay attention to it.

It wasn't long before Anti-Blonda poofed her sister away, making Anti-cosmo realize it was time to go. Without missing a beat, he poofed away from the rest of his class to stand in front of his brother's.

It took a while for the anti-teen to come out since he's usually the last one out of the class. Once he did, he was startled by how cross he seemed. "What happened?"

"Santa Day is utterly horrendous because people like that stupid leprechaun have morals that make an unfair experience for the unfortunate. If people like him just vanished, Santa Day might be just partially horrendous."

Anti-Schnozmo looked at his brother in equal parts surprised and confused. "Your class was talking about morals? Like the whole time or-"

"Yes the whole time! Eight straight hours of learning about how everyone besides me is wrong in varying ways and how that's ruining the worlds! If everybody thought like me, the worlds would be a great place." the younger anti-fairy complained angerly. "Instead, we're stuck with these deplorable fragments of acreage inhabited with the bourgeoisie and proletariats which animate prepositioned, ludicrous interpretations!"

"What?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. He knows that Anti-Cosmo tended to use larger words when he gets angry, but he doesn't know what half those larger words mean. He doesn't spend hours in the thesaurus for fun, unlike other people.

Anti-Cosmo glared at him. "What do you say makes a person good or not?" He asked instead of repeating what he said in simpler terms.

"Oh, um, I guess if they treat others how they want to be treated it would make them a good person. Let's say a person doesn't want homework forced upon them, then they're a bad person if they force the manipulatable kid to do it. They'd be a bad person."

Anti-Cosmo just stared at him for a second. "That's stupid. You're stupid. If a person wants to die it's okay for them to kill in you're eyes? It's just stupid. Morals are stupid. So are ethics. Everything's stupid. Different people have different situations, you know. You're wrong and stupid." If it's not needlessly large synonyms, Anti-Cosmo likes to use the same word over and over again when thoroughly frustrated.

"Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean I'm wrong. It's an opinion."

"A wrong opinion," Anti-Cosmo muttered, "Besides, the almighty pointy-eared leprechaun called my opinion 'not right', so clearly, opinions are physically capable of being wrong."

Anti-Schnozmo sighed. "I've told you not to listen to the other kids at school."

"Whatever. Let's just go home."

"Okay," Anti-Schnozmo complied. They poofed home.

The day after Santa Day everybody went back to school. Nobody in room 720 mentioned the class two days ago, but for some reason, the students felt different towards their classmates. It was like they understood each other more. They understood more of why they think the way that they do. They empathized with each other more. It doesn't mean they liked each other any more than they did a week ago. If anything, they hated each other more.

But hey, they all got brand new toys. That's all that Santa Day is about, isn't it?

 **A/N: Yeah, it's a bit early for a Christmas, but it's not too early for Santa Day! Christ hasn't been born when Anti-Cosmo was this young, so that's why it's Santa Day instead of how a normal person says it. Also, when Anti-Cosmo said that he doesn't have magic on Santa Day, it's not because he gives his magic to Santa. That would taint to jolly magic given to him. In my mind, fairies don't trust their counterparts so they turn off their magic before they give up theirs. Just a fun fact. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, so don't be afraid to leave a review. Happy holidays! Til next time. Who knows, maybe I won't post for a whole year. Haha, I'm so funny...**


	15. Puppets or Puppeteers?

**Summary: A new trend hits the worlds. Anti-Cosmo, who hates them, teams up with an unusual ally tries to take it down.**

Anti-Cosmo floated close to the school's detention room waiting patiently for Anti-Schnozmo to finish. His teacher caught him letting others cheat off of him on a standardized test, so the young anti-fairy had to wait for his brother all month. This time, things were a little different.

Usually, the three-hour wait was in complete silence; nobody cared enough about the kids in detention to wait around for them most of the time. Anti-Cosmo would have preferred the usual silence over the company he got.

"I can't believe them. They're such idiots," Wanda complained. She was floating around angrily as Anti-Cosmo tried his best to ignore his best friend's complete opposite. "Who in their right mind gets in trouble at school over a stupid little toy?"

"Yep. Your friends are quite doltish," Anti-Cosmo agreed in a feeble attempt to get the fairy to be quiet.

"I don't even like plumppets!" She continued. Anti-Cosmo couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Your friends got in trouble because they were playing with a plumppet?" Anti-Cosmo snickered. "Even my friend wasn't stupid enough to get in trouble with hers."

Wanda's pink eyes shot daggers at the anti-fairy, who didn't care. "Don't talk about my friends like that. Besides, it's not like you have much room to talk. Weren't you the one stupid enough to go to Fairy World on Friday the thirteenth?"

"Oh, what an insult. I'm very offended. I was convinced that bringing a toy to class and using it instead of learning to such a degree where I get punished was pathetic, but you convinced me otherwise. Besides, anyone who's friends with _you_ can't _possibly_ be a classic idiot fairy. My mistake," Anti-Cosmo sarcastically said.

Wanda balled her fist and brought her wand out of thin air. "You're such a jerk! I'm going to tell Daddy about you and you'll be in trouble, you anti-fairy!" She poofed away.

A sigh of relief escaped the young anti-fairy. "Blimey, getting rid of her was laborious." Happy with the silence that once more consumed the hallway, Anti-Cosmo waited for his brother again.

Eventually, the kids came filing out of the in-school suspension room. Lots more than usual. Most of the mythical kids had at least one of these fuzzy toys in their arms. A plumppet. They had soft fur in a plethora of colors to form a variety of simple shapes, but most were fat and round. They had multi-colored, large eyes that took up half of the face and an abundance of different hairstyles above that. It wore a wooden cross on its back, strings from each end attaching to both the hands and legs of the creature.

All the kids and their toys all were long gone before Anti-Schnozmo came out the door. "You ready to go?" he asked Anti-Cosmo.

He nodded and the two poofed away.

* * *

When Anti-Cosmo floated into his class the next day, it was full of plumppets. Blaine and Dillian had three sparkly golden ones and five bright green ones shaped like clovers in front of them. Maria had four and was using them as puppets, two in each hand hers where all round and were in all different colors.

"Look Anti-Cosmo, I got a green one and a pink one! Isn't that cool? Those are the only colors I know the names of too," Anti-Wanda said. She was cuddling with the two toys.

"Those aren't the ones you had yesterday. Did you get new ones?"

Anti-Wanda nodded. "Yep! Ms. Magister is giving them out. I have the other ones over there. Once you open yours we can play with them together!"

Ms. Magister had four eggs on her desk. "Yeah, the school's trying this new thing. Apparently, it's better to reward good behavior compared to punishing bad, and since these little things are so dang cheap we bought a bunch. Four go to kids with As, three for Bs, and so on. Here's yours." She used her magic to float them over to him.

Anti-Cosmo cracked open his four eggs to see four average plumppets. He and Anti-Wanda played with them for the rest of the day. After the bell rang, Anti-Cosmo gave his four to his friend. He couldn't see the point in them.

It was back to waiting for his brother to get out of detention. Wanda was still there waiting for her friends, complaining to Anti-Cosmo the whole time.

* * *

It's only been four days since plumppets got released, but the class's floor was completely covered with three layers of them. Every classroom was like this. Anti-Cosmo floated in, staring at the hoard before him in awe. He doesn't see the appeal that a plumppet apparently oozes. It's actually incredibly impressive how liked plumppets really are; in many cases, both a fairy and it's anti-fairy counterpart love the trademarked balls of fluff with limbs.

"Isn't it great, Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Wanda asked, "We've got even _more_ plumppets! Now we can play with them _all_ day long!"

Anti-Cosmo put on one of the fakest smiles of his life. "How splendid, but didn't we play with them all day long yesterday? And the day before that? And half of the day before that one?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Don't you think we should play with something else? We never finished our game of senet, for example. We could do that instead."

Anti-Wanda laughed. "Don't be crazy, plumppets are funner than that weird game. These are the new ones too! Look, their eyes light up if you squeeze it!" She picked up a triangular, orange plumppet and squeezed it. It's light brown eyes lit up and shone brightly into Anti-Cosmo's green ones.

"Why would you want that?" he asked, looking away from the bright light source.

"Cause it's cool," She said and turned off the light by squeezing it again. "And, it's only a one in ten chance to get one like this. I think that's really rare."

Anti-Cosmo looked at the covered ground beneath him. "Considering you have over fifty, I'm not surprised. You remembering a statistic though, that's quite impressive."

"So are you going to play plumppets with me?" Anti-Wanda asked. Anti-Cosmo took notice how she didn't ask what words like 'statistic' meant, unlike how she usually did.

"What would happen if I say no?"

Anti-Wanda thought for a second and shrugged. "I guess I'd play with them without you."

Anti-Cosmo laughed nervously. "Y-you would never do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm your friend. I don't like those things but I've waisted three days of my life in a row playing with them because you're my friend. I don't want to make it a forth. We should play senet. Or, we could do something else. _Anything_ else really. Your pick."

"If I get to pick I want to pick plumppets."

Anti-Cosmo groaned. " _Aaaaanything_ else."

The two anti-fairies stared at each other in silence for a second. Anti-Wanda broke it by saying "Well, I'm going to play with my plumppets, and you can too if you want to." She did as she said.

"Wait, but I hate everyone else in this class! I didn't bring audiobooks or anything. What am I supposed to do?"

Anti-Wanda ignored him, even after he continued to complain. After a while, he cleared a little corner on the opposite side of the room until the carpet could be seen again and started to bitterly play senet as both players. At one point, Ms. Magister felt bad and joined him, but immediately regretted it as he cheated continuously. It wasn't long before Anti-Cosmo was back to using a two-player board game by himself.

After five out of the eight hours of school passed, the young anti-fairy gave in and begrudgingly played with the plumppets. He still didn't see why everybody loved them so much.

Well, almost everyone.

"Why does this keep happening? It's like they're not even thinking," Wana complained. She and Anti-Cosmo were waiting outside detention again. "It's those stupid plumppets. It's like they get rid of good judgment or something."

"Toys can't just spawn bad judgment. Maybe your friends-" Anti-Cosmo started.

"No," Wanda interrupted, "stop saying bad things about my friends. You don't even know them."

"You sure? I've heard more about them in the past four days than I'd ever dream of wanting to in my whole infinite life. They're idiots, and you're an idiot for being friends with them."

"You're waiting for an idiot who got in detention too!" Wanda argued.

"He's not an idiot! Anti-Sch-" Anti-Cosmo started, but he stopped himself. 'What am I talking about?' he thought. 'Anti-Schnozmo is an idiot. And plumppets _do_ get rid of good judgment. That _must_ be why.' He poofed away, leaving Wanda to wait by herself.

"Hey, come back here! I'm not done giving you a piece of my mind!" she yelled at no one.

Anti-Cosmo was poofing a few feet after another but decided just to fly instead. He flew all the way to the Middlelands Mall. There, a whole store was purely dedicated to plumppets. That same story had about 95% of all the people at the mall inside. The youngest anti-fairy in existence was in dismay as he watched a wide variety of mythical beings, all ranging in ages, fighting each other for the twelfth plummet in their cart. Some kids were outside of the store playing with their newly bought toys. Two fairy kids where particularly loud.

"Hey, listen to your plumppet. It purrs."

"No way, that's so cute! It's like it's really alive!"

"It's not on it's listed features. Strange huh? Maybe it doesn't want to be found..."

"What do you mean?"

"What if it's there to scoop out your brains? Finding it could ruin everything."

"Shut up Doug."

Anti-Cosmo stopped eavesdropping and stopped staring at the store. He flew over to an abandoned part of the mall. Out of his backpack, he pulled out an egg that held a plumppet in it. The school handed out more that day, but he kept his instead of giving it to Anti-Wanda. It was easy to crack open the egg. Inside was a dark red furred, navy blue-eyed ball of fluff with pitch black arms, legs, and crossbar. He put it up to his ear, and the kids were right; it made a low, monotone hum. It sounded like a machine in constant work. "Maybe it _is_ mind control. The only reason why I'm not affected is because I'm an unholy abomination. It all makes sense! And the only way to stop it is to get to the root of the problem."

Finding where the root of the problem was turned into a problem itself. Anti-Cosmo's plan to ask the plumppet clerk got distilled by the two-hour-long line. Once he finally got to the front, the girl working the counter said she couldn't answer anyone's questions if they weren't buying anything **.** Irritatedly, Anti-Cosmo, who has no money and practically no magic, left the store and searched the desolate mall for some lost change. After, he waited in the now three-hour-long line to buy a toy he hated. The clerk told him to ask the store's manager, who told him to ask the head shipping, who then told him where to find the factory. By the time he flew there, it was already well into the night.

It's pretty easy to break into places when you have magic, especially if there's no anti-magic detectors around. Sneaking around was going to be a little harder. There wasn't enough time to go home, so Anti-Cosmo was still wearing his bright blue school uniform. It didn't seem to much of a problem however, nobody was working in the factory that bustled with activity. It was all automated. Line after line of plumppets were rolled out of one machine on a long sheet of fabric and placed into another machine. Humans wouldn't create such fluent, efficient uses of metal like this place did for another few thousand years. Although fluent, the machines looked cheaply made and fragile.

The anti-fairy navigated the unfamiliar factory with no idea where he was supposed to be going, he just flew in a direction he thought might lead somewhere. He didn't even know what he was supposed to be looking for, but he didn't really care.

Out of the corner of his eye, Anti-Cosmo saw something move in the opposite direction of the conveyor belt. He looked over, without disrupting his flight, to see something small and gray moving on a control platform. 'What's that?' he thought. While Anti-Cosmo was distracted, he accidentally ran into a flimsy metal pole, denting it. "Ow," he mumbled. He looked back at where he saw the thing, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "You're so stupid," he told himself. "This factory is stupid." He kicked the pole he ran into, denting it even more. "That really hurt," Anti-Cosmo complained to nobody. He floated slowly to the floor and put his head on his knees. "What were you even thinking? What's one idiot anti-fairy supposed to do in a place that probably has thousands of dollars and infinite magic? You can't even fly like a normal person…"

Not that far away, a fairy was in the factory too. Completely dressed in black clothing, Wanda was wandering around cautiously looking for the same thing as Anti-Cosmo. Honestly, she didn't know what she was looking for either. Before she could find whatever she wanted, a sudden clank of metal stopped her in her tracks as fear washed through her. A second one, louder than the last, was heard. It was followed with some incomprehensible noises she guessed was someone talking. 'Who is that?' she thought. 'If they find me, will they call my parents?' Wanda shook the thought out of her head. 'I didn't come all the way over here to be scared. The factory worker will know their way around better than I do. It's probably best to go talk to them.'

Slowly, Wanda started flying to the mumblings holding her wand defensively. Eventually, the words where understandable. "It's not mind control," it said, "Anybody would choose a toy over you. Even you would if you stop convincing yourself that you're actually worth something."

'It's that kid from school,' Wanda thought. At first, she thought he was talking about her since it was all in second person. She soon guessed he was talking to himself and didn't even know that she was there. "A-are you okay?" she asked.

Anti-Cosmo immediately poofed to be floating in front of Wanda and he waved his hand dismissively. "Of course I'm okay, Anti-Wanda's opposite. There's a perfectly good explanation for me to be doing that, but you ruined my whole plan. How did you even get here? And why?"

"Um," Wanda mumbled. She didn't really believe his lie, but he did seem completely fine, so she moved on from it. "I read where the factory was off the back of my sister's plumppet boxes and just poofed here. I'm here to shut down the factory so my friends won't get detention anymore. How about you?"

"I'm going to get the factory shut down first, and I'm not going to give my reasons for doing so out just because you did."

Wanda stared at him. "Why not? Your reason can't be that important that it needs to be a secret. And why first? We both want the factory shut down, wouldn't it be smarter to work together?" She didn't like him by any means, but she didn't know what she was doing either. She'd rather work together and get to bed sooner than spend hours wandering aimlessly and alone.

"How do I know you won't be a hindrance to my cause?"

"Oh, _I'm_ the one who's going to be a hindrance. Last time I checked, I'm not the one who," Wanda looked over to see the weirdly shaped dents in the pole and put two and two together, "ran into a pole and started crying on the floor."

"For the record, I didn't do that either," Anti-Cosmo lied.

"And another thing," Wanda continued, ignoring his comment. She pointed her wand at him. "Your school uniform-" She never finished. The grey thing from before jumped onto her shoulder, catching her attention too. It was a small, non-magical mouse. The young fairy screamed, dropped her wand in fear, and pushed the mouse off of her.

It seemed barely affected by it's fall since it immediately started running. Fastly scurrying across the floor, it grabbed the yellow wand and ran away with it.

"Hey!" Wanda yelled at the mouse as she started to chase it.

Anti-Cosmo motioned at where Wanda used to be. "And she didn't think she'd be a hindrance. At least _I_ " his wand appeared in his hand, "still have my wand. Pathetic fairy. Anti-Wanda is clearly the superior one of the two, even despite her easily washed brain tricking her to hate me. You know, if she were her she'd be useful... most likely. Well, it would be a 50-50 chance of being useful, but a 92% chance of at least being enjoyable. That's a high 46% chance she'd be both. I'd happily take those odds."

Wanda flew back around the corner. "Who are you even talking to?"

The young anti-fairy rolled his eyes. "She doesn't know who I'm talking too. How pitiful. Clearly, I'm talking to myself, you eavesdropper."

"Whatever, I need you to poof us through a door over there."

Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "I guess you _need_ someone else, because _I_ prefer not to actively seek out setbacks."

"It won't be a setback. The door had the words 'machine operation room' on it. I bet that if you want the factory to shut down all you have to do is destroy things in there. You just poof us both in and everything would work out great."

Looking around absentmindedly, Anti-Cosmo tapped himself lightly with his wand, as if he was deep in thought. "Hmmm," he said, "Interesting. A machine operation room would be useful, but what I fail to see is how I would benefit by poofing you in too. As far as I can tell, it'll just be a waste of my precious magic."

Wanda glared at him then flew up and grabbed his tie. "Listen, you little jerk, I know about the blue-suited kids at school, so I've been nicer to you than I should, but you don't get that anymore."

"What, are you going to call your dad?"

"No, I don't need to. I've taken a few years of magicless self-defense with my sister. I can fight against someone with no magic, or against someone with magic that can't even poof them more than a couple feet at a time. Now," Wanda grabbed Anti-Cosmo by the ear and started dragging him to the door. "Poof us both in there or you'll be sorry."

The young anti-fairy poofed out of Wanda's grip. It did hurt, but it wasn't anything he's not used to by now, he just didn't like people touching him. He looked at the door. He knew that the machine operation room was where he wanted to go and he would have never been able to find it on his own, so he did owe Wanda a favor. Even if he did hate her immensely.

Anti-Cosmo looked at his wand. He could easily just poof himself in there, like he told Wanda, but if he poofed them both there is a chance of putting the fairy through pain due to his anti-magic. Granted, his wand's magic was so deluded it probably wouldn't.

He sighed. "Fine." The two mythical children poofed away in a dark cloud and barely made it to the other side of the wall with a door painted on it.

Inside was rows of cheap looking controls, a glowing, somewhat fancy looking machine in the corner, and a big, gray floating chair in the middle of it all. "So," a voice said, "you're the ones running around my factory. If it is for free Plumppets, I can give you a coupon."

The voice was so dull and boring it could only mean one thing. 'A pixie,' Anti-Cosmo thought, ' _my_ factory. Strange.'

"No. We hate Plumppets and we know what you're doing to people who use them!" Wanda said.

"You do? Interesting." The pixie turned around in his chair, revealing a fairy wand in his hand, which neither of them paired attention to. "A pair of cynical kids."

" _Cynical!_ " Wanda argued, "I'm not cynical, I just prefer having friends pay attention to their friend instead of a ball of yarn, is that so bad!"

"Yeah, and I'm far too untrusting and pessimistic to _just_ be called cynical," Anti-Cosmo remarked.

Wanda was about to argue more about how un-cynical she is, but the teenaged fairy noticed the wand the pixie was holding. "Hey, that's mine!" she exclaimed.

"Indeed," the pixie said. In a pink poof, Wanda and Anti-Cosmo got tied up to a nearby pole together.

While Wanda was struggling to get out of the ropes he floated over to Anti-Cosmo and took his wand away while he was still coughing from the fairy magic.

He took the wand and rattle over to the large, glowing machine. It had three columns. The one furthest left was glowing yellow, and the one furthest right was glowing blue. The middle column wasn't glowing, but it seemed to be filled with a fog of some sort. Under the two glowing parts where holes.

The pixie shoved Wanda's wand into the hole under the yellow glow, and was about to do the same with Anti-Cosmo's rattle on the other side, but got interrupted by the mouse from before.

It squeaked, catching the pixie's attention. "How did the pipe break?"

"*Squeak*"

"What is the size of the build-up due to the dent?" He looked at the two wandless, tied up children and decided that it would be safe to leave them there. He followed the mouse with a gray poof to try and fix the dent.

"What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something? You could have poofed us out if you weren't busy with a spontaneous cough."

"Shut up," Anti-Cosmo hissed at her.

"Now daddy will know I went out after my bedtime and I'll be grounded for twenty-five days. Maybe even thirty!"

"What's with you and not shutting up?" Anti-Cosmo asked rhetorically. His voice was distorted and somewhat muffled.

Wanda looked over to see her fellow student biting down on the rope with his only two teeth. "Ew, that's gross, and it's not even going to work. Teeth probably can't break it, so what do you think gums will do?"

Anti-Cosmo glared at her. They haven't even been in there two minutes by now and he already regretted bringing her too. While giving a deep glare to the fairy beside him, he chomped down on the rope with a strength that most would assume a child his age wouldn't have. It broke the rope in the two places where his teeth where. Now broken, their restraint slowly uncoiled and fell. "I'll bite your head off with my gums, see how much you like that," he muttered.

Being younger and smaller, Anti-Cosmo got out faster than Wanda and grabbed his rattle. He pulled the wand out of the machine, which it was already hanging half out of, to see that its tip was brown and limp. "Well, this is useless now," he said and threw it behind him.

"Don't do that!" Wanda said. After grabbing her wand off the floor, she joined Anti-Cosmo in front of the strange device. "What did that thing do to my poor wand?"

"It must have absorbed all of the magic inside. This yellow glow must be mounds of fairy magic, and over here is anti-magic. Although, that's a lot for a factory in the middle of nowhere. Unless…" he flew around the device and looked at the back. "It's hard to tell, but there seems to be a couple servers back here. That device inside the plumppets must be absorbing magic and anti-magic to transport it here, but why?"

"And if that's the case, why does it say 'pixie magic combiner'? There's no pixie magic, just this weird gas."

Anti-Cosmo floated back around. "I listened to a book on magic once and it was horrible since it was actually theoretical magic practices and not a trick to get free magic. Anyway, the author hypothesized that, theoretically, if magic and anti-magic combine they should cancel out and make an unbiased form of magic, or pixie magic. It's been proven that if concentrated magic and anti-magic, like there is here, combine, then they'd explode and make all the surrounding concentrated magic explode as well." His bright green eyes looked up and down the columns. "It's a good thing too, since this much pixie magic could easily force an eminent domain on fairy world and make it prime for Pixie Inc. to take it over, but that wouldn't even make sense since this factory isn't in Pixie World. I don't see a motive that would make this much work worth it."

"Maybe you're right and it is to take over Fairy World," Wanda agreed, "I've heard stories about Pixies doing that. This pixie probably isn't in Pixie World or currently working for Pixie Inc. because he never did or got fired. Whatever the reason, now he's super jealous and wants to claim the title of head pixie for himself by taking over the place that the current HP hasn't been able too."

The young anti-fairy nodded. "Sounds reasonable. There's a fair chance of this being an abnormal pixie who doesn't hang on HP's every word. Whatever the case, the hypothesis about the magic is wrong so help me destroy everything in here and ignore that since it can't do much anyway."

Anti-Cosmo started floating away, but Wanda stopped him. "What if it can make pixie magic? Nobody would do all this knowing it wouldn't work."

"Pixies are idiots though."

"Pixies are logical idiots who don't like wasting money on uselessness. Factories, plumppets, and this thing cost money, and lots of time, which is money. My dad talks to me about business sometimes and I know that plumppets would barely make a profit, if they do at all."

"Well, Plumppets are stupidly cheap, I'll give you that. Just like how cheap everything here looks. Independently funded, I guess." Anti-Cosmo looked back at the three columns and looked specifically at the mostly empty middle one. "That section has to be where the two magic types intertwine to make pixie magic, but instead there's that gas. However, maybe there's a chance the pixie somehow found a compound that would make the combination of the two safe, therefore succeeding in making magic that he's compatible with. The anti-fairy and fairy magic have been specifically placed in separate locations, so he does know the consequences... This is a miracle of science!" He smiled and his eyes shined. "Pixies are geniuses! I should join forces with them! Together, we can conquer the worlds!"

Wanda knew that blue suited students aren't threats, so she ignored Anti-Cosmo's enthusiasm for conquering. Instead, she worried about the pixie who they determined has a very well thought out plan. "We have to stop him! He can't take over Fairy World!" Wanda cried.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Yeah, he can't. Anti-Binky would get us taken over too and I'd take dark colors over a new ruler any day, unless that new ruler's me. How do you suppose we stop him? This machine is enforced with too strong of materials for pathetic children like us and adults wouldn't believe us, or ground you for staying up too late."

"Who are you calling pathetic!?" Wanda growled at him and grabbed his tie again. Anti-cosmo poofed out of her grasp again. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over Wanda's head. "You could put your anti-magic into the normal magic side and blow the whole thing up! We'll save the worlds!"

"I hardly see how it would be _we_ , I'm clearly doing everything, but okay." Anti-Cosmo flew to the hole on the fairy magic side and shoved in his rattle. Nothing happened. He pulled out his magical device to see it was darkened and droopy like Wanda's. "Shoot," Anti-Cosmo mumbled, "now I can't even poof out."

Wanda paled. "N-no... That can't be all… What happened?"

"My magic is utterly atrocious. I guess the ratio is too small to make any damage."

"B-but you have to have _something_! Didn't a special needs anti-fairy take over the school for a day a while ago? Just use what that person did."  
Anti-Cosmo thought back to that day that happened close to two years ago. He doesn't like to dwell on failed plans all that much, despite Anti-Schnozmo telling him that learning from mistakes could help. He remembered what happened and shook his head. "That anti-fairy was me, by the way, and it won't work. I'm too old to have magic act out due to my emotions."

"But there's still internal magic or something, right?"

"I bet that's pathetic just like I am," Anti-Cosmo argued, "Besides, it's not like I can just put my hand in here and it extracts my internal magic. That would be stupid." He put his hand in the hole on the fairy magic side to prove his point, but it didn't go according to his plan. Instead, he could feel the machine forcefully take something intangible from inside him. "What? No, stop," Anti-Cosmo whined. He tried to take his hand out, but the machine wouldn't let him. The young anti-fairy floated to the floor and turned a couple shades lighter blue as his internal magic got sucked out.

Wanda felt a little bad for him, since he clearly didn't like it and was desperately trying to get out, but felt better seeing that their plan was working. The device was starting to shake and was exponentially shook harder. It wasn't long until the whole thing exploded, taking out the rest of the room with it and then some. Being immortal, Wanda was fine. Anti-Cosmo, on the other hand, was still not affected all that much by the giant explosion, but having almost all of your internal magic taken away was highly unnatural and exhausting. He was having trouble standing, so he knew the idea of flying was way out of the question. It felt close to when he made all of the snow, snow clouds, and not yet formed snow clouds disappear a while back.

"You okay, sport?" Wanda asked.

Anti-Cosmo mumbled incomprehensibly in response.

"That's not good," she mumbled. A gray poof sounded next to her. "That's worse."

"What did you kids do?" the pixie asked. His voice was still mostly emotionless but had a hint of anger in it. "You've ruined my fifty-seven years of work." Behind him, all the plumppets were in flames from the explosion, lighting up the night. Most the mechanisms used to make them were destroyed too, largely due to how cheap they were to begin with. "HP will never re-hire me now." The slight anger was now replaced with slight sorrow.

Wanda knew that pixies hated their overly long plans getting ruined. Floating backward in fear, Wanda raised her wand defensively again. Pixies could put her in jail, or they could find out who her dad is and take back their investments in his company. Either one would make Blonda the favorite in her dad's eyes along with her mother's, so neither one was an option to her. That's when Wanda released her wand was yellow again. It didn't have full power, but it could still poof her home and then some. She looked at Anti-Cosmo and felt guilt again. It wouldn't be fair to run away and leave him to be punished, no matter how much he got on her nerves. The pink haired fairy raised her wand higher and poofed herself into her shared room with Blonda to fall asleep as if nothing happened. Luckily for her, Blonda sleeps like a rock.

Wanda also poofed Anti-Cosmo to Anti-Wanda's house, not knowing anywhere else in Anti-Fairy World to poof him. He did call her Anti-Wanda's opposite after all, so they could have known each other, but Wanda hoped that he doesn't just call all fairies by their opposite's name, since that didn't seem too far fetched.

In Anti-Wanda's house, Anti-Cosmo looked around and recognized it as such. He didn't really care, however, since Anti-Wanda's family knew him already so he wouldn't get in much trouble, and he was too tired to really do anything about it. He walked, more of hobbled, to the nearby couch and fell asleep immediately.

Unlike Blonda, the quiet poofing sound that came from the story below woke up Anti-Blonda right away.

With her wand shaking in her fear-filled hands, she flew down to confront the intruder. The trembling stopped after she saw a person she'd always recognize. "Oh, it's the bad role model," she said quietly so she didn't wake up anybody else. The anti-teen noticed how drained the anti-fairy covered in explosion debris in front of her looked and sighed. "He's a bad role model to himself too." She mumbled and poofed him to his own bed.

* * *

"Did you hear that Plumppets are being recalled because of the cheap production value and the workers being mice?" Wanda asked Anti-Cosmo as they waited outside detention again. This was Anti-Schnozmo's last day in there, and the young anti-fairy was much too tired still to float home, so he decided that putting up with Wanda for one more day couldn't be the worse thing in the world.

"Yep. Anti-Wanda wasn't too happy about that, but she got over it after she 'won' the game of senet. Really, I fell asleep while playing and she just played for me, so no matter what she considered it her win. She didn't even play by the rules, but I don't either, so it didn't matter," he said. It was obvious that he was still tired from the night before since his eyes were half closed, had dark circles under them, and he sounded pretty energyless. Although, Anti-Cosmo was flying and back to his normal color, so it wasn't as bad as yesterday. He smiled happily. "Anti-Wanda and I are going to listen to books together tomorrow after school."

Wanda nodded, even though she didn't really care. "My friends aren't in trouble over plumppets anymore, now it's this new thing called makeup, which is basically a mask that disguises you even less. They're obsessed, so I think it wasn't mind control and my friends are just horrible. I'm thinking of getting new friends. Like that foreign boy, Juandissimo." Love hearts practically appeared in Wanda's pink eyes. "He's so dreamy. And he talks to me with such a nice accent."

Thinking a lot slower is a side effect of being tired, so Wanda was too wrapped up in thoughts of Juandissimo to hear Anti-Cosmo say how it had to be mind control. Despite what he said, there was a seed planted in his mind that maybe, just maybe, Anti-Wanda would abandon him that easily. He listened to Wanda's rambles for the rest of the time he waited, mostly since it was better than listening to the seed. He learned more about a fairy named Juandissimo than he'd ever wish to know about anybody, but it still beats the alternative.

 **After a more a story more heavily filled with fan characters, I thought one with one of the original show's main character would be nice. Did you think it was nice? Review your thoughts, I'd love to hear them. I also don't have any stories that I particularly want to put next, so any suggestions you have in mind in the comments, I'd love to hear those too. I also wanted to say, since I keep changing the picture, you can look at most of the old pictures on a deviantart page named mylifewascheese. Also, the plumppets may seem A LOT like hatchemals, I mostly just got the egg part from those. I got more inspiration from an episode of Boss Baby back in business and a couple other popular toys, like pokemon cards. just a fun fact. Til next time~**


	16. Anti-Baking

**chapter 16: Anti-Baking**

 **Summary: Anti-Wanda gets forced into cooking.**

In a blue room, Anti-Wanda was sitting on darker blue furniture. In front of her floated Anti-Blonda, who was staring meekly at the floor. Beside her was a fairly thin man with a head that looked too big. On that head was a black hair, hidden mostly under a black fedora, and a mysterious scar next to his mouth. His eyes were red and skin was blue, like most Anti-Fairies, but unlike most, his suit had mostly bright colors, with the exception of a black tie. He was the Anti-Fairywinkle twins' father, Big Anti-Daddy.

"Okay, so, Anti-Wanda," he said in his submissive sounding, strangely accented voice. "Me and your mom work very hard." She nodded. "We're not home much." She still had no idea where her dad was going, but she nodded again. "Pretty soon, you're going to be alone." Anti-Wanda stared blankly instead of nodding. "Completely alone."

"All alone?" Anti-Wanda clarified. "But Anti-Blonda is always here." Said teen stared at the floor more intensely.

"She'll get her own job and house soon."

Anti-Wanda shrugged. "I could invite Anti-Cosmo over."

He looked from his daughter in front of him to the one beside him. In response, Anti-Blonda stared at him, her blood-red eyes talking for her. The anti-adult looked back to Anti-Wanda. "Anti-Cosmo isn't very responsible, sweetie," echoed Anti-Blonda's thoughts through her father's words.

"What does that mean?" asked Anti-Wanda. "If it means something bad, then I don't think it's true."

Her father sighed. "I know he's your friend but he's," he looked deep into his daughter's pink eyes and couldn't bring himself to say bad things about her best friend. "He can't be here all the time. He has to be busy at some point," he said instead.

"No, he's never busy. Anti-Cosmo tells me all the time that his life isn't worthwhile enough to partake in at any given point and that he'd abandon his dear brother at any slight provocation. Then he tells me that all those fancy words mean he's not busy."

"He said those same words enough times for you to remember it?" Anti-Blonda asked.

"Yeah."

Barely audibly Anti-Bloda mumbled, "he's such a freak."

"Anyway," Big Anti-Daddy continued, "You'll still be alone a lot. Your mom and I thought it would be best for you to learn how to cook, especially since you can't just poof things up."

"Okay," Anti-Wanda said. "Will Anti-Cosmo be there?"

"No, it'll only be you and your teacher. He's going to be a cookie elf I work with named Matthew Lagning. We already arranged for you to practice with him in five days. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. _Can_ Anti-Cosmo be there?"

Anti-Blonda and her father sigh. The conversation dragged on for hours, mostly centered around how Anti-Wanda can't drag her friend with her to cooking class. Eventually, she understood and they all went on with their lives like normal.

* * *

Five days later when Anti-Blonda poofed her and her twin home, rather than being empty there was an adult elf. He had blue eyes and thick, dark purple hair that was partially covered by the typical turquoise elf hat. Like most other elves, he had a fairly young looking face and pointed ears. He wore the usual light turquoise shirt with a white collar but a dark teal apron made his outfit unique. Freckles that looked more like sprinkles lined his face over his big, buck-toothed smile.

"Well howdy there. You must be Anti-Wanda," he said looking at said twin. "I'm Matt, your new teacher. Are you ready to learn how to cook like never before."

She shrugged "I don't know."

"That's the spirit! Let's get cooking!"

Matt waltz's into the Anti-Fairywinkle kitchen with Anti-Wanda floating behind. "Now, let's start with something easy for your first time. How does a nice soup sound? We can even make some bread on the side."

"Okay."

"Splendid! First-" He went on to go step by step, helping the anti-teen throughout the whole process. Through the peeling, chopping, mixing, and decanting, Anti-Wanda kept asking questions, which the chef was happy to answer. After, a magical, floating pot stirred the spinach and white bean soup as it heated over the elves' invention of portable fire.

"As that gets all soft and toasty, we'll make some bread!" The elf brought out the ingredients for the said side. "First thing's first, let's stir the yeast with this water."

The two poured the grain into a lukewarm pot of water. "Wow, so this really can turn into bread? Is bread this yellow?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Yes, it does! It's real fascinating, really. And bread turns more orange and white after baking."

"Can bread become black? My friend likes back more than white."

They added sugar, oil, salt, and flour to their pot and continued to stir. "I don't see why not. We can add color later. I personally never leave home without my food color changer device. After we're done with our lessons, if you're father thinks that it's dandy, then I can give you a food color changer device of your own. You know, for this little friend of yours."

"What's a dandy?"

"It means good."

"Oh, okay." The bread was done kneading and placed into a bread shaped pan. Anti-Wanda looked at it. "It seems small."

"Don't worry, it'll grow," Matt said. He was already smiling, but he smiled bigger. "You know, a good baker will rise to the occasion. It's the yeast they could do."

"Occasion is a job isn't it?"

Matt stared at the anti-teen, a bit disappointed his joke went completely over her head. "No, I believe the word you're thinking of is occupation."

"Oh, yeah. I guess that sounds right."

It wasn't long before both the dishes were finished since elf magic was being used. Anti-Wanda looked at the soup she made and smiled. "Hey look, it's green."

Matt walked over to look at it and starred in surprise. It really was green. Bright green at that. Radio-active green wouldn't be a bad way of describing it. Only the liquid was this green though; the solid ingredients where now all had a fuzzy looking gray coating. "Well," the chef mumbled, "This is certainly new…"

"We eat it now, right?"

Matt laughed half-heartedly. "I think it would be best we throw this away," He said. "Besides, we still have some scrumptious bread." He pulled said bread out of the fire and looked at it. It actually shrunk since they put it in, making a thin sheet of a solid black, sandpaper looking substance that probably shouldn't be called bread anymore. "On second thought, I think we should just try again."

"Hey, I made it black! It looks great; we don't have to throw it away."

"No, it's no big deal. We'll try something a bit simpler for your first meal."

They tried to make tuna and rice next. Anti-Wanda, with heavy guidance, was preparing the rice as Matt did everything with the fish while Anti-Wanda watched. In the end, the tuna was beautifully pink. Not a single blemish or imperfection was on it. Matt placed it in a flying bowl and brought out a plate.

"This won't be very important right now, but as you get better at cooking you should think about how you present, or show, the food'" Matt taught. "Food isn't just about taste; true flavor comes from a mix of taste, smell, and sight. All senses must be taken into consideration." He tried to scoop out some rice to plate it, but somehow the grain combined to create one giant block. It completely smooth too, no ridges from the individual kernels could be seen. The spoon was useless against the absolute unit of rice, so was the knife he used next. The elf sighed. "Well, this is a predicament. How'd you get it like that?"

Anti-Wanda shrugged.

"Well, I'll try and see if it's salvageable." He flipped the pot upside down making the mass fall out immediately. It landed hard on the floor, but remained undamaged. Outside of the pot, a clear gradient was visible, showing the white rice change into dark red.

Anti-Wanda grabbed the rice block with her feet and tried to bite it, but before she could Matt took it away from her.

"Oh, you don't want to eat this. Something must be wrong with the fire." The chef brought out two slices of bread. "You can have a Tuna sandwich for today," he said, applying the tuna to the bread. "We'll try again next time."

"Okay," Anti-Wanda agreed.

Day after day the cookie elf returned and attempted, but failed, to get Anti-Wanda to cook anything that even looked edible. Eventually, while at the cleaner factory he worked at, Matt ran into Big Anti-Daddy. They exchanged pleasantries, but the conversation quickly shifted to Anti-Wanda and her progress in cooking.

"It's going well, I'd say," Matt said. "She always asks great questions and has very interesting ways of ruining a dish. I'm quite impressed, really."

"Wait, what?" the Anti-Fairy questioned, "What do you mean she's 'ruining a dish'?"

"Oh yeah, she's been using magic to change the dishes into wrecks. It can be quite creative sometimes too. One time the dish even came alive. I used a rice block to kill it, and oh boy are those rice blocks solid."

"What are you talking about? Her magic isn't strong enough to do that."

"Not that I wanna accuse or anything, but she has to be using magic. It's impossible to be that bad at cooking naturally."

"I'm pretty sure that my daughter wouldn't, and couldn't, do that."

"Her dishes would beg to differ."

"Listen," the anti-fairy said, "I understand if you're just bad at teaching others how to cook. Just because you're a chef doesn't mean you can teach other people how to do what you do."

Matt suddenly got flustered. "Wha- no. I-I'm a great teacher. I taught all five of my children how to, and could very well teach another. The only thing is that anti-fairy magic is a lot stronger than elf magic."

"I have to get back to the vacuums, but it's fine if you don't want to teach Anti-Wanda anymore, I'd just prefer it if you don't blame her."

Mr. Anti-Fairywinkle poofed away. "Wait… but…" Matt mumbled. He looked around where they talked and plenty of people were in earshot, including some fellow elves.

Later that day, Anti-Wanda came home for her cooking lessen. Anti-Blonda poofed away, like always, leaving Matt and the anti-teen alone.

"What are we cooking today?" Anti-Wanda asked as they went to the kitchen.

"Well, I'm going to have you cook all by yourself. Now, This meal will be for your family to show them what you've learned. Please don't use any magic on it."

Anti-Wanda tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You've learned a lot, haven't you?" Matt asked. Anti-Wanda nodded. "So just show that without making a mess with magic."

"But I'm not using any magic."

"You can say what you want, but let's actually make something presentable today."

"Presentable?" Anti-Wanda questioned.

Matt nodded. "Presentable and edible."

"Um, okay." Anti-Wanda didn't exactly know what those words meant, but she tried to cook the best she could anyway. She made a stew, which was just water with chopped up stuff in it. Despite its simplicity, and against all odds, the stew looked, and smelled, like human regurgitation.

Matt threw it out. "Anti-Wanda, please stop. If word gets out that I'm a cookie elf that can't teach cooking me and my whole family will be looked down on."

"Really?"

"Yes. Could I have your wand for the next dish, just to be safe?"

"Sure." Anti-Wanda handed over her wand and made a second attempt at a meal. It turned out about as good as the first. The food got thrown out and the next dish was attempted.

Matt watched in horror as dish after dish failed, despite him holding onto the anti-wand and checking for any extra anti-wands multiple times. Anti-Wanda wasn't following the recipes, since she couldn't read, but from what she was doing it shouldn't have ever made the monstrosities that came out time and time again. Time ticked by and work shifts ended. Anti-Wanda failed to cook the sixth meal in a row as her parents poofed into the house.

"Anti-Wanda, Anti-Blonda, I'm home" their mom called.

Anti-Wanda still had a tray of grilled cheese sandwiches in her hands. they were somehow black on the inside and turquoise on the out and seemed to have the texture of half melted gelatin, so it was practically a liquid. "Yay, Mom's home. She can try my meal!"

Before the anti-teen flew out, Matt stopped her. "No, please, we don't want to kill her. How about this: I cook a delicious meal that somewhat blows your folks socks off, but not enough that they want your dinner more than a few times. You say you cooked it, and we're both happy. You just need to never cook again. How does that sound?"

Anti-Wanda thought for a second and noticed that she didn't follow his plan at all. "I don't know," she said.

"You could just get a friend who could cook in the future," Matt said, thinking she was talking about that.

Anti-Wanda's eyes lit up. "Like Anti-Cosmo?"

"Yeah, like Anti-Cosmo."

"Okay," she agreed.

Matt cooked some quick burgers. He made them slightly pink and unseasoned for a reason, despite every chef bone in his body telling him that this was wrong. In the end, he plated the four burgers and handed them to Anti-Wanda.

"Now, this is important. Remember that you cooked these and you don't really like cooking."

"I did? And I do?" Anti-Wanda asked, genuinely believing him.

"Yes. Now, go feed your family."

She did. They all ate it and congratulated Anti-Wanda, which confused her, but she didn't say anything. The meal itself was underwhelming and they'd never pay money for it, but since it was coming from their daughter/sister, it was great.

"That was amazing honey. Do you want to make us dinner tomorrow?" Anti-Wanda's mom asked her.

"No, I don't think so," Anti-Wanda mumbled.

"It's okay, you don't have too," her dad said.

Anti-Blonda nodded in agreement, happy that her sister's cooking was at least edible.

Matt watched, feeling guilty for lying and dragging Anti-Wanda into it. It didn't help when the Anti-Fairywinkles thanked him for teaching their daughter. He stopped returning for cooking lessons and kept telling himself that he did the right thing and that it will never backfire.

It backfired about a week later. Well, somewhat.

Baking day, or cookie day since that's all anyone ever brought, was an annual thing at spellementary, which the Anti-Fairywinkles usually didn't pay much attention to, but this year Anti-Wanda knew how to 'cook'.

"You should make cookies for your class," Big Anti-Daddy suggested. "There's only five people, isn't there."

Anti-Wanda shrugged. Counting isn't her strong suit. The idea of cooking didn't excite her anymore anyway, it just confused her. She didn't really know what cooking was since she got contradictory information.

"I'm pretty sure your classmates would love it," her father said.

She ended up making cookies. They were oatmeal raisin cookies, but they wouldn't be called that based on looks. Sweet gum balls, or the brown spiky balls that fall off of sweet gum trees, would be a better way to describe them, except these were dark purple. Seeing nothing wrong with them, Anti-Wanda puts them in her backpack for the next day.

"Cookie day, cookie day!" Maria happily sang when she was in class. While she was a forest elf and not a cookie elf or north pole elf, she still mostly loved what those elves love.

"Yeah, yeah, a holiday that the school didn't just make up to fuel cookie fundraisers. How exciting," Ms. Magister mumbled.

"But you still brought cookies, right?" Blaine asked.

A tray of mostly chocolate chip cookie poofed onto her desk. "Yeah. The fairy scouts wouldn't leave until I bought some. They're desperate. But banning baby fairies can do that to sales that only work because of cuteness."

The students weren't listening to her talk, instead, they were fighting over the sugary treats in front of them. Anti-Wanda had an advantage since she hated chocolate while everybody else aimed for the chocolate chipped ones. Still, it wasn't long before they were all devoured.

"That was short lived. Anybody else have cookies to share?"

Maria giggled. "Does anybody else have cookies," she repeated. Her backpack opened to reveal six _humongous_ raspberry cookies. She gave them to everyone, except the absent Anti-Cosmo, and they all enjoyed those. The last one was split into fourths for the children to enjoy.

Anti-Wanda handed hers out next, which made everyone a lot more hesitant. "Soo, what are these?" Ms. Magister asked.

"They're cook eel ray fish cookies or something," Anti-Wanda said.

"Oatmeal raisin?" Ms. Magister has been teaching the anti-fairy long enough to understand her, even when she's saying nonsense.

"Uh-hu, that's it."

Ms. Magister nodded slowly. "Riiiiiight…

"This doesn't feel normal," Blaine said. He handed it to his brother without even trying it. Dillan then handed them back to Anti-Wanda.

'Sorry,' the leprechaun signed. He went back to his brother and helped pass out their treat of baked potatoes. Maria put hers back without saying anything.

"Aren't people supposed to eat cookies?"

"Yes," Ms. Magister said, "But some people just don't like oatmeal raisin cookies."

Anti-Wanda stared at her teacher. "Why not?"

"Weeeell…" She started. Anti-Cosmo's poofing into the class caused a conversation changer that she was hoping for. "Hey, you're late," She told him.

"Hey, I have an excuse," Anti-Cosmo replied. "It all started three months ago when that kid _Anti-Joey_ had the nerve to dare to float by _me_ while I was stalking Anti-Binky."

"How is- You know what, I believe you, just don't continue."

"Will do," Anti-Cosmo said. He noticed the thing in his friend's hands. "Oo, what's that?"

"Cookies," Anti-Wanda answered.

She handed him one. "You know, I've never really liked cookies," he said as he ate it anyway. "Wow, that was crunchy," he said as he took another one. "These are good."

Anti-Wanda ate one too. "Wow, they are!"

Ms. Magister put the one she was given back onto the anti-fairy's hands.

The two anti-fairies enjoyed the rest of the cookies alone, but they didn't really care that nobody else wanted any. 'So, I guess this is what cooking is,' Anti-Wanda thought as she watched her friend try and eat the unnaturally firm cookie without teeth. He noticed her stare and grinned.

"It is really good," he said. "I still hate cookies though."

Anti-Wanda smiled back. "Okay," she said. 'I guess cooking isn't so confusing after all, as long as it makes people happy.'

 **A/N: Ah! I don't know how to end stories! On a different note, sorry this took a lot longer than usual, school has been crazy. I don't have a story planned for after this, so feel free to leave me any chapter ideas that we might see next time. By the way, according to the FOP wiki, Wanda cooks really good looking dishes that taste horrible, so Anti-Wanda does the opposite. Review your thought on this chapter. Til next time~**


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